To make a difference.

do cats in France meow in french? what about dogs? 

I'm literally just laying here seeing all these blackout friday pictures on my dashboard and it's wonderful. So wonderful, that it made me realize that a good majority of us have some amount of cruelty within us and then I broke down in tears because I realized I've done so many people wrong and I want to change. I'm not racist by any means if that's what this post seems to implies. This little movement sparked a bit of humanity in me. And I want to change. For the better. I've had a very rough week and quite frankly my mind has been unstable for the past few weeks now. I'm trying to find happiness. I'm trying to be a better person. I want to make so many new friends. Everyone of you are beautiful and so brave. 

can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do

The sickness never really died. It had only slumbered. Now awake, I fear it's going to only be worse this time. All sense of direction is at a lost. I'm the product of this path I didn't know I was on. What if the only way to go is to go away? I always choose what's worse for me, knowing the consequences. And again, I have nothing. How is it that I'm so easily vulnerable to becoming addicted to destructive paths? I've repeatedly tried so hard to be someone and when everything is right where it should be, the demon takes control.