Context, some from my main blog tags:
coming from a Mexican family, both indigenous heritage and catholicism are prominent.
Long hair has always meant a lot to me, and it is difficult to be seen as "masculine" in a white eurocentric society with it. I also have difficulties growing facial hair, as do all men in my family.
The regalia is a bit plain, but I attempted to recreate a tilmatl (cape) and maxtlatl (loin cloth) typically worn by men and patlache (masculine gender)
angels bleed from their breasts via snake bite into goblets. fire and water typically considered ‘opposites’ in euro occultism, but they make steam and is used as a cleansing agent such as in temazcal (sweat lodge cleansing)
the snake as representative of both sin and enlightenment. the sin of being unapologetically trans. the enlightenment of becoming. the Great Work in alchemy. And, if you reach a little bit, can be both Quetzalcoatl and Satan. Which may be one and the same to anyone who simply equates all non christo-catholic religions are evil and therefore satanic.
Behind him, a halo made of the Sun and the Moon both, depicting the eclipse of both Masculine and Feminine.
I recently learned from my family that the Spaniards in our ancestry were Sephardic Jews trying to escape Catholicism. There's something a bit sad that decades, if not centuries later, I still feel haunted by Catholicism, a thing that burdened both my Jewish and Native ancestors. truly cannot catch a break, and here I am making Catholic bullshit
Self inflicted hysto inspired by a story abt my friends mother: she woke up after a c-section, no one was around, and she stood up from the table: all her guts spilled out. It was horrifying. I, personally, have thought about extreme self harm to cut my own uterus out. I now have had a hysterectomy, and thankfully don't need to worry about it. Imagery of blood and the tucked mixtlatl between the legs remniscent of my menstrual cycle. The Final Bleed.
The image of the Tower in the background came from an old alchemy illustration, but the Tower is a force of sudden upheavel and change. My medical transition was sudden and all at once. I started tesosterone without saying anything, my friend rushed me to the clinic when my ride canceled. I got a hysto and top surgery within 3 months of each other - exactly the amount of time required to recover.
A few things I think I would have changed, such as gave him a copilli instead of just the star, made the dagger a tacpatl, added design to the fabrics. Might not be too late, I can always change it later. But its been 3 years since I drafted this piece and I'm glad to finally finish it.
Especially as the original version was a man cutting off all his hair. And this time, i kept it long.
