Dealing with mental illness
Growing up, I knew I was a little different. I had ADHD, took ritalin and went on with my life. As I went off of it in high school, my ADHD had seemingly subsided. But other things started happening. I started experiencing severe anxiety and depression; I missed school for long periods of time. I could barely make it through each day. But there were great times, too. The end of high school and beginning of college seemed to be marked by the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I always wondered, are my emotions just stronger than everyone else?
Now, I don’t have an answer to that question, but I do know my emotions are at least different from a lot of people. After a debilitating anxiety attack during this year’s fall semester, I went home for my personal well-being for two weeks. During that time, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was pretty shocking. I am different, I thought. I always had heard about bipolar disorder and how crazy people were on it. One second they’d be crazy angry, and the next second they’d be overjoyed. Uncontrollable. Uncivilized. But after just a little bit of research, I realized something: I’m not alone.Â
There are 5.7 million Americans over the age of 18 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That’s 2.6% of the population — and those are just those who are diagnosed. There are so many people out there like me — people that I meet, even — and I don’t even know.
Sure, it’s hard realizing that you have a real mental disorder. It was scary to me that during my first “manic episode” (a stage where you experience extreme highs and lows and exhibit erratic behavior) I couldn’t explain why I was feeling the way I did. In fact, most of those couple weeks I spent at home were a blur. Everything ran together. I don’t know if that was because of my mental state or if I just blocked it out, but it was hard to come to terms with.Â
Personally, I’ve never exhibited judgement on to those who have mental illnesses. But once I was diagnosed, I really felt different and alone. But thanks to the wonderful support of friends and family, I have an incredible support group. They make me feel normal.Â
After realizing that a lot of people don’t have the support system I do, I decided to channel my problems into something positive. I started the Mental Health Awareness Club at Michigan State with a couple friends, and it’s really helped me use my issues to educate others and help them know that it’s okay to not be okay.Â
I don’t tout it like it’s something great, but I try to be open about my mental health. Because it’s just like any other illness. Would you be afraid to tell someone you have Crohn’s Disease or a bad back?Â
Through it all, the best way I have been able to cope was to see that I’m not alone and that people will support me. If you have any friends struggling with mental illness, all I ask is that you be there for them. If you have a mental illness yourself, remember you’re not alone. You are never alone.