Dear Diary

I just remembered what it was like before Frank stopped liking me and got really really really sad

IM SAD ABOUT A BOY AND I FUCKING HATE IT LOL. WE WERENT EVEN REALLY TOGETHER IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD. BUT HES PULLING BACK AND IM NOT GONNA SIT AROUND WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT ISNT GONNA HAPPEN. LOL BUT I REALLY DONT WANT ANYONE ELSE AND THE MORE I SCROLL THROUGH TINDER AND TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE THE MORE I JUST WANT HIM TO TALK TO ME AND I HATE IT!!!! I DONT EVEN WANT ANYONE ELSE AT ALL!!!!!!! THIS WAS NEVER MY INTENTION!

hahaha it's so cute how you literally don't care about anyone except yourself and your boyfriend hahahah so #goals

this is so dumb and cheesy and shit but do you ever meet someone and just like know they're someone who is supposed to be part of your life? like in a real way????? oh my god it's so dumb

IM EITHER OVER EMOTIONAL OR IN LOVE BUT EITHER WAY ITS FUCKING ANNOYING

MY BEST FRIEND HASNT TALKED TO ME IN OVER TWO WEEKS AND ITS LIKE SHE DOESNT EVEN CARE HAAAA AHAHAAH HA AAA A H A

diet app yelled at me for not eating 1200 calories today and I'm upset

honestly I'm not sure if I'm changing or some people in my life are but either way our personalities are not meshing the way they used to and growing out of people is weird esp when I don't think they realize we're growing out of each other

I'm talking to my therapist tomorrow. if she can't give me a real solid reason, I'm doing it. I'm killing myself.

I relapsed in my self harm and I know it's bad but oh my god it felt so good. I can't tell anyone because I don't want anyone to be upset and it won't get out of hand like it did last time I just felt so numb and my parents have been so absent and when they're not absent they're angry and I needed it so there's 10 months down the drain lol

cool I'm glad you're in love with your boyfriend and whatnot but if you don't start treating me with the same amount of respect you give him, I'm gone for good babycakes.

my friends are all closer with each other than they are with me and my parents just asked me to move out/said they don't want me living here anymore and I feel so fucking alone

tbh i really can't handle people talking about like body shit or insecurity don't care it makes me so uncomfy bc idk it just does and I want to cry and I want to not feel the need for validation from someone, anyone I hate not being independent

when ur just not on the same level as everyone you're with and you just feel kinda sad and wanna be a lil.......... idk idk what I wanna be just wanna be not sad

I quit one of my jobs and my entire family is taking it personally and getting angry w me like how does it effect u??? I still have a whole other job??? I went from not working for 6 months to working 2 jobs and my self care went out the window I can't let that happen I'm sorry I'm more concerned about my health than raking in cash. this is so frustrating

I want to die I want to die I want to die I have not felt this way or this upset in a REALLY LONG time but oh god I want to be dead im not going to actually do anything I won't hurt myself or anything like that but HOLY SHIT i just needed to get that out of my system I wish I was never born I wish I was dead now I wish I wasn't alive don't freak out or anything there is genuinely nothing to be concerned about I just could not keep that in but anyone I tell would get upset for obvious reasons

disgusted w myself for eating so much tonight. I really wanna throw it up but I'm in a car so I just feel really fat.