STORYTELLER

If you want something with a little more variety, I’d go for the Taurus Raging Bull- that thing’s chambered for everything from .223 Remington to .28 gauge shot shells, so you could just experiment, see what you feel the most comfortable with, and go from there. There’s no sense buying a gun if you don’t like the way it feels.

Honestly, at this point, I feel like I should just ask you to come to the store with me.

But careful what you wish for! You might not get the best artist.

All I need is J.H. Williams III to come back. That’s all I’m asking. I mean, I’d take a Kevin Wada cover but we’re not all so lucky.

Sometimes, it only takes one person to turn things around.

Yeah, yeah. I just want new art of myself, maybe even a cover.

…Come to think of it, if you want something that’s got a Deagle’s stopping power but doesn’t make you look like a tool, then something like a Taurus might be right up your alley. You like revolvers?

How big a hole can a Taurus put in a person my size from this distance, if you had to guess?

They get heard, alright. It’s just a little unfortunate it’s only by someone who only writes me once a week.

OK, uh…well. All my gear is custom, but that’s because it’s built to the specs I need to do my work. If you’re going for something off the shelf, then there’s a whole lot of stuff to consider. You need to think about your budget, get something with a frame size and weight that suits your needs- for example, if you want something that’s easy to conceal then you want something smaller, with a polymer frame if possible. If you’re thinking strictly self-defense, you’re gonna want a bigger, heavier frame. Larger sights to make it easier to aim and the weight helps compensate for the recoil.

Protection is a myth. I’m just looking for “cool,” to be honest, so I think something custom would work in that case. If it’s one of a kind, it could be my trademark. I could pick up a golden desert eagle. Maybe even two.

Shitcan the riddles, lady. You’re not Nigma and I’m not in the mood.

I’m genuinely asking. I’m trying to rework my image, because I figure if I get a gun, I’ll become popular in the post-Watchmen world.

–But that doesn’t sound like a fun phase either. I’ve done… one-third of that phase though.

It’s not fun. Kyle Rayner and thirty seven armed soldiers assaulted me and stole my lantern and pissed in my cereal, so I was just stuck like that until my universe got a new mini and I was relevant again.

–But it’s like someone’s afraid of using more than two colors at a time! Laugh at that now though. It’s immortalized in history– and ink and paper.

At least you’re not going through an “wrinkling, withering, rambling hobo on a beach” phase.

Now you wait a minute–

I’m just kidding. This is the first time I’ve been active in 109 days, Jen, don’t go grunge girl on me.

You’re already adapting the personality to go with it? That was fast.

      I’m exempt from most “facts of life”.