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Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

I absolutely love being a hotwife. One of the best parts for me is driving my husband insane with lust for me by giving him just the right blend of teasing and reassurance. Not only do I get the freedom and variety of choosing my own sexual partners, but I also get a husband who burns with desire for me. For the purpose of this entry I’m going to use the term hotwife for any wife with permission to play, cuckoldress for a hotwife who emphasizes her dominance in the sexual relationship, huband for the hotwife’s primary partner (could easily be a fiance or boyfriend), and lover for the other sex partner who’s not the husband.

Here are some techniques I regularly use that I’ve found hotwives and cuckoldresses can use to make their encounters extra fun for their husbands and for themselves.

When Husband is Watching You with Another Man

Eye Contact* - Nothing will arouse and tease your husband like strong eye contact with him. Eye contact says, “Look at me!” and makes it impossible for either of you to ignore or trivialize what’s going on. Eye contact can be gentle or fierce, depending on your style and the message you’re trying to send. I prefer to lock eyes for a long time, then wink or smile right before I look away. I like to lock eyes with my husband while I’m blowing my lover.

Smile* - Smiling is both a tease and a reassurance. It says both, “Look how much fun I’m having!” and “Everything is OK.” I love to smile at him when I’m riding my lover cowgirl-style.

Say Something* - You don’t have to jabber away, but it’s fun to say things now and then. I love dirty talk with my lover while my husband’s watching. I also like to interact with him, asking, “How are you liking the show?” or “Don’t you wish you were doing this?” I also encourage my lover to talk about how good everything feels and how much fun he’s having. Moaning, screaming, crying, laughing, giggling, etc. are all great things to do, too. It’s also cute to call you husband by terms of endearment like honey, baby, etc. when you’re being fucked by another man.

Dress Up* - High heel shoes, lingerie, nicely done nails, and perfume all say, “I’m putting effort into looking fucking hot for my lover!” You husband will be aroused by your appearance and jealous of the effort to look good for another guy.

When Husband is Listening from Another Room

Go Nuts* - Scream, cry, moan, laugh, beg, talk dirty, giggle, and slurp. Encourage your lover to slap your butt. These sounds will float through the closed door and to your husband’s ears, driving him wild with desire and jealousy.

Emerge, then Vanish* - Take a break from fucking. Go out into the room where your husband is: hair a mess, makeup smeared. Have a glass of water. Say hi to your husband. Then, go back to the bedroom. Close the door. Lock it.

Make a Movie* - Film your bedroom romp. Hook the camera in your room to the TV in the room where he’s sitting so he can watch live feed! He’ll be scratching at the door in no time.

When Husband is Not Around

Call Him* - It’s fun to call him and put the phone on speaker phone while you’re getting railed. Then, husband can listen! Even more fun (for you cuckoldresses) is let your other guy call from his phone instead. It’s more humiliating.

Texts* - Like above, but text dirty things. What you’re doing, feeling, etc. Have your other guy send husband dirty pics of what you’re doing.

Get Caught* - I love having my husband walk in on me when he’s not expecting anything. Just make sure that you know he’d be OK with this, and that your lover is also OK with this. Some people don’t like surprises.

Leave Evidence* - Your lingerie lying around the bed, sex toys on the nightstand, or a condom in the garbage all remind your husband of what you were doing in his absence.

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!

You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.

You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.

Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.

He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.

If you feel he deserves an orgasm… Ruin it!

Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.

Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!

Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.

Tease him with your words whenever possible.

Find out what humiliates him.

Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.

Talk sexy to him.

Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.

Fondle him, or let him fondle you.

Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating.

Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.

Make him be naked when you are not.

Make him masturbate for you.

Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.

Don’t let him get away with anything!

Spank, paddle, or whip him.

Humiliate him in some way.

Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.

Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.

Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).

Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.

Help! My husband asked me to try chastity play but it’s not going well. Usually, right after I’ve let him out, things are fine. He can be a little cool toward me but that’s fine. But then over the next two days he grows steadily whinier until his begging to be unlocked is intolerable. Not much fun for me or him. I never tell him exactly when I’ll do it, but I almost always take pity on him in the evening on the third or fourth day and let him out to take care of himself. The whole thing has been a bit of a letdown. Is this what everyone is raving about? Surely not.

- Ms. M

No, Ms. M, it’s not and I dare say it’s because…

YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG

Okay, there’s no such thing as right and wrong with intimacy, just different tactics that will yield different results. The tactics you’re using are not aligned with the very achievable results you seek.

Traffic Jam Chastity

Don’t you hate idling in a traffic jam? The worst isn’t standstill traffic. The worst is traffic that is moving just slow enough so that you can’t leave your foot on the gas because you have to keep braking every five seconds. Starting and stopping in crowded traffic is enough to send any driver to road rage court. But that is exactly what you’re doing to your husband.

After a man orgasms his sexual response and interest drop precipitously to their lowest levels. We’ve all seen it. Interest in sex evaporates. Romance and flirting get shoved roughly in a drawer and the male brain hunkers down to git stuf dun.

But, as we know, those rascally males don’t stay heads-down for long. Within 24 hours the sexual response begins to slowly return as the prostate refills. He barely notices it at first but by the second and third days it has taken over his one-tracked mind and he’s getting pretty ready for some luvin’. Shouldn’t that mean you should give it to him? Give him some relief?

Days 2 and 3 are the most irritating for a man

No! Let me explain why not. Days 2 and 3 are the most irritating phase of chastity for a man. Why? For the same reason day 3 of any diet is the most temptation prone and why it eliminates so many dieters. He’s transitioning from getting exactly what his body demands to not. It’s an uncomfortable change and the body doesn’t like it. Every five minutes his body asks “Wait, wut? You mean I can’t have? Why can’t I have? I need! Give me now!” Frustration and irritation mount and, if you do let him orgasm, he will experience immediate relief.

The Goldilocks Phase

Relief is not pleasure. Relief is not useful. Relief, his relief, is not your friend. It lets him off the hook and unravels all that nice tension you just wound into his brain. If you want to experience the benefits of chastity and you want your husband to be floating on the fabled submissive cloud of chaste pleasure then you need to get him past the constant battle for relief and into the Goldilocks Phase.

Sometime after day 4, depending on the man, his body will slowly start to realize that an orgasm is not imminent and therefore it’s a waste of resources to keep expecting relief at any minute. This may take hours or days but he will eventually stabilize into acceptance. Not just mental, but physical acceptance. This is where you want his head.

In the Goldilocks Phase, his expectations have been lowered enough to stop fighting chastity but not so low that he gets depressed. In this phase he is free to simply experience chastity, to experience the sensation of ever growing arousal and ever intensifying desire. For men, desire is pleasure. This will be a sweet sensation that never stops, made just a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. (Don’t worry about those They pass quickly.)

Goldilocks is best for you too

It’s not just him that rides this wave. You benefit most in this period. Rather than spending time fighting chastity and pestering you, his only way out and only listening ear, he spends his time in quiet contemplation. It is this phase that he switches to the long game. Instead of busting out a couple of chores and expecting a tit-for-tat release, he begins to consider the keyholder’s point of view, her needs and her whims. He finds himself doing things that he knows she’ll appreciate and he hardly even notices that he’s doing them. He truly puts her first.

But you need to do it right

But for him to take that view you need to play above his level. Chastity must reinforce the dynamic you want. That means the following:

You never promise a date. You can hint at early release for good behavior or late release for bad, but he must never expect an actual date or time.

You must never cave to begging. He may ask politely once or twice during a stretch of chastity and, if you wish, you may give his request some consideration. But once your decision is made you must stick to it no matter what. I recommend that further begging result in a longer sentence.

Behavior should be tied to chastity. Don’t reward bad behavior. If you do you’re just teaching him he can do it and get the rewards.

How Long? Three-to-four weeks

The Goldilocks Period is about three to four weeks long. During this period he will slowly get more and more aroused, experience more and more submissive feelings toward you and become more and more malleable by you.

That long? I couldn’t possibly!

To some who are starting out, weeks of lockup might seem cruel. Believe me, it’s not as cruel as what you are doing to him by letting him out every three days, stop and go, hot and cold, up and down. If your doctor prescribed a 20-day course of antibiotics would you stop taking them after three days when you started feeling better? No. The same goes with the man. To get all those benefits you need to keep him locked for the full course. I would say that’s at least two weeks (in the case of some reward for extra good behavior) but usually three weeks. And up to four (in the case of bad behavior).

How will you know? He will thank you.

How will you know that you’re keeping him locked up long enough? He will thank you. That’s right, he will actually thank you for keeping him locked up. It might not happen right away. It might take several rounds, several months for his thinking to evolve but it surely will. I’ve done this to hundreds of men, some in person some online. Every single one of them proactively thanks me at some point. There are other signs as well. Aggressiveness toward you will disappear. Calm, quiet service to you will develop spontaneously. After the letdown of orgasm he will actually crave to go back in chastity. He’ll miss that glow so much he’ll want to skip past the next three days so he can get it. Eventually he’ll reach the point that he doesn’t want to be unlocked when the time rolls around. At that point you can have the magical discussion about… wait for it… permanent chastity. That, however, is a discussion for another day.

Chastity belt and humiliation

This mental emasculation is the result of long firm and consistent training that has taught him not only to feel inferior and to be ashamed of his sexuality but also to fear his sexuality as a dark, dangerous power that if unrestrained jeopardizes his safety and his good living as a good little domesticated male and therefore he experiences the chastity device as humiliating to have to wear but also as a security device ensuring that his sexuality will not be able to take control of him.

It is much like the aching welts on his buttocks and back thighs ensuring him of being safe and secure in my care and therefore despite the pain and shame providing him with a comfortable and reassuring feeling of belonging and being controlled.

Ritual humiliation

The need for submission is one part of chastity’s appeal to men, but there’s another significant benefit, to clamping a padlock to your privates: the promise of sexualised humiliation. The cage, in whatever medieval torture device form it takes, serves as a perpetual yoke of degradation. 

Constant Reminders of Chastity

So he’s in Chastity, but does he know why? He may think this was his idea, but remind him that it isn’t anymore. 

Let him know how much you are becoming accustomed to having the key and how you are enjoying the benefits.

Make a habit of reminding him that you prefer to keep him in chastity since you discovered your love for oral sex and pegging…and in turn means that he shouldn’t have any use for his little cock anymore. Tell him that it’s also better to have his useless cock locked up since his cock is so small and insufficient.

Remind him that he’s the one that started it and wanted it, but he should’ve been ‘careful what he wished for’.

The point here is to make a list of reasons why you keep him in chastity and to constantly tease and remind him of them.

Strapon and chasity belt

Add on to his submission and humiliation. Have him fuck you with a strapon dildo while in his Chastity belt. He will feel inferior and embarrassed. 

Take Pictures of Him Chaste

Take lots of pictures of him in chastity…hold his chaste penis and/or keys for the photo.  

Use these pictures to tease and torment him, threaten him that you will share them online, or share them with a girlfriend when you tell her about how your keep him under control.  

Small Penis Humiliation

Small penis humiliation is exactly what it sounds like: Some men, regardless of their actual penis size, get turned on when they’re scolded and belittled for having a “tiny” penis. Some women love it, too, and enjoy the power trip of being the ultimate judge of a man’s adequacy. 

Most of the men who enjoy this fetish have a normal or even larger-than-average sized penis. Bianca’s guest certainly wasn’t undersized.

Finger body language 

Pinky(Little) Finger Up – Holding just the pinky finger up while the rest of the hand remains in a fist has a wide range of meanings in different parts of the world. 

In South America, this is used as sort of a visual aid when describing something or someone as thin. 

In Japan, it can be refer to a woman who is involved in some way, though in a vulgar tone, like that she may be a married man’s mistress. 

In Indonesia, it can denote that something is bad, while in the Mediterranean region, it can rudely let someone know that you think they have a small penis.

Collect Pictures Gossiping About His Size

Whenever you are with a girlfriend who knows him, take a picture together of you and her squeezing your fingers together symbolizing the tiny cock he have and laughing.

You don’t have to tell the any of your girlfriends what it’s really for… you can make up some other story to get them to pose for the picture.

The point is to start creating a collection of pictures that you can use to humiliate him and keep him wondering what you might or might not have told anyone of the girls…he’ll never know!

See how many pictures you can collect!

Take ownership of his penis

Once you lock it up, his penis is yours. One way to think about it is that it is your toy. He doesn’t own it. It’s just parked on his body. It exists for your pleasure and amusement.

You can take it out and use it, then put it back safely in its cage whenever you want. If you think of it this way, you will find it much easier to incorporate chastity in your life. You aren’t locking something of his up. You are keeping your toy safe. You’ll be surprised how powerful this concept is.