I'm weird about potatoes

. that is a serial killer

I am drunk and on my way home walked past this truck that had pictures of fish on it and said ‘meat without feet’ I laughed so hardr

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

The anonymous button is not for hate messages and death threats! It’s for confessing your love and asking stupid questions!

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

you're so beautifol :) may i sense you with my feelers

would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

reblog to put a discarded fruit sticker on the forehead of the person you reblogged from in whimsical jest

I don't understand husbands who dgaf abt their wife's interests. you should be getting hard every time she nerds out, no exceptions

lets make jokes that dont make sense and are bad

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful