Thatter I Am

One Direction’s 10 year anniversary has brought back all the feels for me this week. As a proud over aged teeny bopper and original boyband fangirl of the 1990s, I fell in love with One Direction and how they brought back the boyband revival and fangirls! They encompassed everything us fangirls love about boybands - beautiful vocal harmony and charisma galore with each member appealing to a different personality type.

This week I went on a trip down memory lane listening to their albums and watching heaps of YouTube videos and I must admit, it breaks my heart to not have them around anymore. Especially in times like 2020 when the world feels like it’s crumbling and there is no end to the madness, One Direction’s music and that of all boybands just bring pure happiness, joy, innocence and simple pleasures! Pop music is just that... an escapism from the real world..

This video in particular was a performance of a non single track called “Moments” which is absolutely stunning and is sung with such beautiful harmonies but it’s the amazing screams of the crowd that brought me to tears today. As the boys moved closer into the crowd, they start screaming louder and louder! So many memories flood back, the sound and the feeling of euphoria is so raw that I’m taken back to One Direction concerts I’ve been to and that of many boybands and performers in general. There is no better feeling than sitting in a crowded arena with thousands of other fans who are just as happy and excited to be there to see their favourite artist perform!

But right now, I am sitting on my couch here in Melbourne, Australia, halfway through our 2nd covid-19 lockdown feeling sad and angry that we’re all back here again because people aren’t following the social distancing rules and spreading this virus to such an uncontrollable state. 2020 was the year I was going to see Niall, Harry and Louis in their respective solo tours and all have been postponed/cancelled because of this pandemic.

I can’t even image a time when we’ll be at a state where we can have 10,000 people in a closed arena again and that devastates me! Music is absolute life for me. Going to see live music is pure joy and every new concert I’ve got lined up helps me make the decision to continue a new day... It’s helped me get through hard times and has always been there for me.

It’s been 4 years since I was last in the world of Tumblr and what a 4 years it’s been and what a year 2020 has been in particular.

As an Australian and as a Victoria, 2020 started with some of the worst bushfires we’ve ever experienced which spread across all side of the country. But it brought us together and we worked in solidarity to support each other and help those in need. It was such a beautiful sight to see.

And then covid-19 appear and all that went out the window! I have never seen a country backflip 180 degrees the way it has when this pandemic reached our shores in February.

It is the end of July now and in the past 5 months I’ve seen the emotional toll it’s taken on everyone. We are sadder, we are angrier and we are more crazy and delusional than ever. We are doubting science and believing the worlds of conspiracy theorists and nutbags! Everyone is now an expert and experts are just liars and puppets of the government apparently.

And if you have a social media account you have the right to spread hate and hysteria. So today I’ve made a conscious decision to pick and choose which platforms I feel will be better for my mental health to use and be around. Twitter was gone a long time ago - aside from celebs and trolls who seriously uses it? But yesterday I stepped away fom Facebook.Facebook for me did two things, it was a memory keeper for me, recording a moment in time for me to look back on in the years to come, and also as a way to connect with friends and acquaintances. But this pandemic has turned everyone and everything into the trolls of Twitter. Just full of hate a negativity. So I took a step away yesterday.

I would still like a way to be able to post my thoughts and experiences like a journal or a photo album and then I remembered Tumblr. So today I am BACK! Trying to re-familiarise myself with it again - like riding a bike (although I can’t do that either lol) but it definitely feels comfortable being back here again.