You cannot rules-lawyer your way safe from bad faith
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@thatstormygeek
You cannot rules-lawyer your way safe from bad faith
*jazz hands*

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my house is scary at night
Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications
We're genuinely so brave for the way we somehow manage to navigate cis society never knowing wtf is going on in their heads at any given time
That's such a hilarious response. For a brief moment the boss lived in a better world that has universal mpreg for everyone...
To say that Platner raises some red flags is an extreme understatement. Some people have said that Platner raises so many red flags that he’s made of red flags. But Democrats and many lefties—in a rare act of solidarity—ignored those red flags (or worse, didn’t even see some of them as red flags). On some level, I get it. We are all desperate for Democrats to take over the senate. But on a higher level, I have to believe that there are good non-red-flaggy (or at least limited red-flaggy) people who can lead Maine to the correct side of history. (Hopefully these are a few.) Platner got away with all those crimson flags because, just like Lindsey Graham, Platner has a back pocket full of the benefit of the doubt. Lindsey just has more in his back pocket because his party has fewer morals. For more on that, see our president still being in office after 34 felonies and having been adjudicated a rapist. So much of white supremacy’s power comes down to one simple question. Do YOU get the benefit of doubt or not? I’m talking to the YOU who is reading this right now. Even though Graham Platner is (ostensibly) the opposite of Lindsey Graham, they are both beneficiaries of white supremacy. White supremacy is the white man’s best insurance plan. White men get more chances to fuck things up than the rest of us, even if they are not as powerful as a politician. Do you remember Brock Turner? Back in 2015, Turner was a 20 year old Stanford University student. He raped an unconscious women behind a dumpster. He was found guilty and was sentenced to just six months in prison. He was paroled after three months… AGAIN FOR RAPING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN. Oh, I should probably tell you that Brock Turner is white. (Did I really need to tell you that?)
White Supremacy's most powerful tool is forgiving white men.
I need white people—especially, the so-called “good ones,” the lefties, the leftists, the left-wingers, and the Democrats—to really interrogate their blindspot around white supremacy. These are not isolated incidents. White supremacy is staring all of us in the face everyday, playing chicken with us and daring us to admit we see it. It was staring many Democratic politicians in the face on Sunday as their phones chirped with the news of Lindsey Graham’s death. It stared at all the people who heard about three white “friends” leaving their Black friend behind who then decided that it was no big deal. (And let’s be real. Even if those “friends” didn’t harm Nolan, they are some super shitty “friends” to leave Nolan behind.) White supremacy was staring white Democratic voters in the face every time a Graham Platner red flag dropped. Many Black folks saw white supremacy giving Platner the benefit of the doubt over and over. Many women who are used to not being believed when they report sexual assault saw it. Did you see it? Be honest.
The most frustrating example of how Platner kept getting the "benefit of the doubt" is how someone with a Nazi tattoo kept on going on long anti-Israel rants that barely mentioned directly helping Palestinians, and leftists still would get upset if you suggest his motivations were antisemitism. "Anti-zionism isn't antisemitism" falls flat when the person you're making excuses for got a fucking Nazi tattoo and I can't fucking believe that has to be said.
Helping Palestinians was obviously less important than harming Israelis to him but people act like the distinction didn't matter.

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pronouns =/= gender. pronouns are words we use to express our experience of gender, and everyone is going to do that differently.
you can be a girl and not use she/her pronouns. you can be a guy and not use he/him pronouns. you can be nonbinary and not use whatever pronouns people expect of you at any given time. you can be any gender and use whatever pronouns you want. you can not use pronouns at all. you can use neopronouns.
hair length is often socially associated with gender but you don't have to be a certain gender to have long hair, short hair, styled hair, etc.
you can just like your hair being a certain way, and dislike it being another way. you can shave it off all because you don't want hair at all. you can make up a hairstyle of your own. you can collect wigs and have totally different hair every day. same thing with pronouns.
so go out there and be a little freaky with it if you want
TODAY IS SPONGEBOB’S 40TH BIRTHDAY ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
To say that Platner raises some red flags is an extreme understatement. Some people have said that Platner raises so many red flags that he’s made of red flags. But Democrats and many lefties—in a rare act of solidarity—ignored those red flags (or worse, didn’t even see some of them as red flags). On some level, I get it. We are all desperate for Democrats to take over the senate. But on a higher level, I have to believe that there are good non-red-flaggy (or at least limited red-flaggy) people who can lead Maine to the correct side of history. (Hopefully these are a few.) Platner got away with all those crimson flags because, just like Lindsey Graham, Platner has a back pocket full of the benefit of the doubt. Lindsey just has more in his back pocket because his party has fewer morals. For more on that, see our president still being in office after 34 felonies and having been adjudicated a rapist. So much of white supremacy’s power comes down to one simple question. Do YOU get the benefit of doubt or not? I’m talking to the YOU who is reading this right now. Even though Graham Platner is (ostensibly) the opposite of Lindsey Graham, they are both beneficiaries of white supremacy. White supremacy is the white man’s best insurance plan. White men get more chances to fuck things up than the rest of us, even if they are not as powerful as a politician. Do you remember Brock Turner? Back in 2015, Turner was a 20 year old Stanford University student. He raped an unconscious women behind a dumpster. He was found guilty and was sentenced to just six months in prison. He was paroled after three months… AGAIN FOR RAPING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN. Oh, I should probably tell you that Brock Turner is white. (Did I really need to tell you that?)
White Supremacy's most powerful tool is forgiving white men.
I need white people—especially, the so-called “good ones,” the lefties, the leftists, the left-wingers, and the Democrats—to really interrogate their blindspot around white supremacy. These are not isolated incidents. White supremacy is staring all of us in the face everyday, playing chicken with us and daring us to admit we see it. It was staring many Democratic politicians in the face on Sunday as their phones chirped with the news of Lindsey Graham’s death. It stared at all the people who heard about three white “friends” leaving their Black friend behind who then decided that it was no big deal. (And let’s be real. Even if those “friends” didn’t harm Nolan, they are some super shitty “friends” to leave Nolan behind.) White supremacy was staring white Democratic voters in the face every time a Graham Platner red flag dropped. Many Black folks saw white supremacy giving Platner the benefit of the doubt over and over. Many women who are used to not being believed when they report sexual assault saw it. Did you see it? Be honest.
it should be illegal for things in drawers to accumulate dust. you were IN the drawer WHAT is your problem

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one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.
Julia Serano heard one enban say "the binary is boring." and we've all been dealing with the fallout out for 2 decades
Wait what what did Julia do
She wrote Whipping girl where she coined the term "binaryphobia" which is just non binary people making jokes about how the binary is restrictive. She freaked out and wrote a book about it, which led to transradical feminism
we can have nuance and criticism of trans theorists, we can take some of the good (coining transmisogyny and oppositional sexism) and also understand that the text itself comes from a place of bigotry
sorry i gotta be a bitch again (with receipts). from Whipping Girl:
There are many different (but often overlapping) forms of gender entitlement and gender anxiety. The
It's kind of crazy to me that she brings biphobia (which has a lot of mirrors with exorsexism), doesn't mention anything about how some bisexuals think they are better than monosexuals and how that's monophobia), but when it comes to nonbinary people...
Anyways, worse than giving credence to "binary-phobia" is her concept of "subversivism" which is what we can trace directly to the exorsexist attitudes in scholars like Jules Gill-Peterson and Kadji Amin. gonna just copy this whole section:
The majority of experiences as a trans activist and spoken word artist have taken place in what is increasingly becoming known as the “queer/trans” community. It is a subgroup within the greater LGBTIQ community that is composed mostly of folks in their twenties and thirties who are more likely to refer to themselves as “dykes,” “queer,” and/or “trans” than “lesbian” or “gay.” While diverse in a number of ways, this subpopulation tends to predominantly inhabit urban and academic settings, and is skewed toward those who are white and/or from middle-class backgrounds. In many ways, the queer/trans community is best described as a sort of marriage of the transgender movement’s call to “shatter the gender binary” and the lesbian community’s pro-sex, pro-kink backlash to 1980s-era Andrea Dworkinism. Its politics are generally antiassimilationist, particularly with regard to gender and sexual expression. This apparent limitlessness and lack of boundaries lead many to believe that “queer/trans” represents the vanguard of today’s gender and sexual revolution. However, over the last four years in which I’ve been a part of this community, I’ve become increasingly troubled by a trend that, while not applicable to all queer/trans folks, seems to be becoming a dominant belief in this community, one that threatens to restrict its gender and sexual diversity. I call this trend subversivism. Subversivism is the practice of extolling certain gender and sexual expressions and identities simply because they are unconventional or nonconforming. In the parlance of subversivism, these atypical genders and sexualities are “good” because they “transgress” or “subvert” oppressive binary gender norms. The justification for the practice of subversivism has evolved out of a particular reading (although some would call it a misreading) of the work of various influential queer theorists over the last decade and a half. To briefly summarize this popularized account: All forms of sexism arise from the binary gender system. Since this binary gender system is everywhere—in our thoughts, language, traditions, behaviors, etc.—the only way we can overturn it is to actively undermine the system from within. Thus, in order to challenge sexism, people must “perform” their genders in ways that bend, break, and blur all of the imaginary distinctions that exist between male and female, heterosexual and homosexual, and so on, presumably leading to a systemwide binary meltdown. According to the principles of subversivism, drag is inherently “subversive,” as it reveals that our society’s binary notions of maleness and femaleness are not natural, but rather are actively “constructed” and “performed” by all of us. Another way that one can be “transgressively gendered” is by identifying as genderqueer or genderfluid—i.e., refusing to identify fully as either woman or man.
The notion that certain gender identities and expressions are inherently “subversive” or “transgressive” can be seen throughout the queer/trans community, where drag and gender-bending are routinely celebrated, where binary-confounding identities such as “boy-identified-dyke” and identities and expressions that appear to subvert or blur gender binaries, subversivism automatically creates a reciprocal category of people whose gender and sexual identities and expressions are by default inherently conservative, even “hegemonic,” because they are seen as reinforcing or naturalizing the binary gender system. Not surprisingly, this often-unspoken category of bad, conservative genders is predominantly made up of feminine women and masculine men who are attracted to the “opposite” sex. One routinely sees this “dark side” of subversivism rear its head in the queer/trans community, where it is not uncommon to hear individuals critique or call into question other queers or trans folks because their gender presentation, behaviors, or sexual preferences are not deemed “subversive” enough. Indeed, if one fails to sufficiently distinguish oneself from heterosexual feminine women and masculine men, one runs the risk of being accused of “reinforcing the gender binary,” an indictment that is tantamount to being called a sexist. One of the most common targets of such critiques are transsexuals, and particularly those who are heterosexual and gender-normative post-transition. Indeed, because such transsexuals (in the eyes of others) transition from a seemingly “transgressive” queer identity to a “conservative” straight one, subversivists may even claim that they have transitioned in order to purposefully “assimilate” themselves into straight culture. While these days, such accusations are often couched in the rhetoric of current queer theory, they rely on many of the same mistaken assumptions that plagued the work of cissexist feminists like Janice Raymond and sociologists like Thomas Kando decades ago. The practice of subversivism also negatively impacts trans people on the MTF spectrum. After all, in our culture, the meanings of “bold,” “rebellious,” and “dangerous”—adjectives that often come to mind when considering subversiveness—are practically built into our understanding of masculinity. In contrast, femininity conjures up antonyms like “timid,” “conventional,” and “safe,” [note: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SERANO?????????????????????] also which seem entirely incompatible with subversion. Therefore, despite the fact that the mainstream public tends to be more concerned and disturbed by MTF spectrum trans people than their FTM spectrum counterparts, subversivism creates the impression that trans masculinities are inherently “subversive” and “transgressive,” while their trans feminine counterparts are “lame” and “conservative” in comparison. Subversivism’s privileging of trans masculinities over trans femininities helps to explain why cissexual queer women and FTM spectrum folks tend to dominate the queer/trans community: Their exceptional gender expressions and identities are routinely empowered and encouraged in such settings. In contrast, there is generally a dearth of MTF spectrum folks who regularly inhabit queer/trans spaces.
Literally nothing has changed in two decades and time is a flat circle. The talking points are all the fucking same. If Julia Serano has never actually understood how much she has contribued to exorsexist talking points in the community (straight down to being a white middle class woman talking about how the "queer community" is all young middle class gays who only want to be subversive as a shallow political statement).
Like, yeah Serano! 20 years later and nobody knows the term exorsexism, nobody knows the term misandrogyny, nonbinary people are constantly being harassed over not fitting into various new queer binaries, queer spaces are overwhelmingly binary, people with "subversive" identities are harassed until they recloset themselves, nobody uses neopronouns, transphobes have been using nonbinary people with blue hair and pronouns as one of their top favorite trans boogeymen for over a decade, but yeah Julia!!! Subversivism is totally a "dominant belief" in our community and its DEFINITELY the primary one we should be concerned about!!!! won't SOMEBODY think of the gender conforming white upper middle class straight trans women & men.
She gets so close to this at the end of the above quote, the constant recreation of the gender binary. That is a real problem... but its from exorsexism and binary ideology, Serano, not binaryphobia or subversivism.
It's not even that I think no nonbinary person has ever acted like this. Certainly, radical feminists have historically been hostile to both feminine and masculine people and argued that only a gender neutral presentation can be feminist. In fact, Serano goes on to talk about this, although she distinguishes these radical feminists as "cultural feminists," and primarily focuses on their attacks on femininity & not their equivalent hostility towards butches. It's not crazy to me that Serano really had such experiences in some queer/trans spaces, although to be completely honest I cannot help but feel that she may not be writing in totally good faith here, as the exorsexism in her writing makes me suspicious of how strongly she is presenting "subversivism" here.
But this comes back to the age-old issue of saying "certain queer spaces are actively hostile to [xyz group of trans people], therefore all other trans groups are privileged!" which is that different spaces have different biases. Serano goes on to talk about most queer/trans spaces have few MTF crossdressers or trans women; but there are plenty of people who will tell you that their local scene is dominated by those groups. People will talk about how "all" or "most" trans resources are exclusively about binders for trans men, but there are others who will talk about how the only resources near them are for trans women.
The point being, its not that queer/trans spaces are not frequently transmisogynistic. It is that people frequently refuse to listen to trans men or nonbinary people talk about similarly deeply rooted ATM or exorsexism in these spaces. So the criticism of these spaces fails to be a genuine move towards community reflection and positive change, because people think a solution that only considers one part of the problem and ignores the rest will actually fix things. After all, writers like Serano never seem concerned with the erasure of trans men, NB/GQ people assigned female, or drag kings from LGBT spaces that aren't the "queer/trans" culture is describing. The history of erasure and anti-transmasculinity simply disappears from the picture; its simply natural when a space is all MTF spectrum people and the absence of trans men or drag kings or others on the FTM spectrum doesn't need to be interrogated, but when a space is primarily FTM spectrum people, its uniquely problematic.
As a final note: Serano, like so many people, does not see nonbinary people as nonbinary whether we like it or not. What I mean is, for some people its being an androgynous boygirl freak or kill yourself out of dysphoria. And naturally, those people are going to fight tooth and nail to dismantle the system that punishes us at every turn for making the choice to live as a freak instead of die normal.
We are never given that grace or understanding, though. We constantly have our identities and our political theory as nb/gq/gnc people reduced down to a shallow political choice to be academically critiqued, not something that people - including working class people (like Leslie Feinberg) and people of color (like Dr. Marquis Bey), like - are creating to survive and find strength despite the world we live in.
TL;DR Julia Serano heard some enben say "the binary is boring" and we've all been dealing with the fallout out for 2 decades. everyone read Emi Koyama The Transfeminist Manifesto and Racist Feminism at the National Women’s Studies Association
The thing that pisses me off is that there's actually a lot of potential in the term "subversivism", when defined as "when a bigot says that <marginalised group a> is better than <marginalised group b> based on an arbitrary idea of what's 'progressive'". The simplest example I have of it is this TERF tweet:
The premise is essentially that people have a moral duty to choose their gender identity based on an arbitrary criteria of what is most transgressive. There's so many strange assumptions and errors in that premise that deserve thorough analysis. And another important part of this is that the elevation of <marginalised group a> is often based in bigoted assumptions about <marginalised group a>. Like, as a nonbinary person I don't appreciate it when people imply that my identity is a political choice and not just something that I am.
But we don't get to have that conversation because Serano is only capable of theorising about why she is The Most Oppressed Person Ever, apparently! I also think there's an element of projection here too. Exclusionist binary trans people think that they are the most transgressive people in the queer community. So when nonbinary, non-dysphoric, gnc people etc. say "hello, we're also trans", exclusionist binary trans people project their intentions onto us and think we're vying for their crown or something lol. Because I've seen like 100 exclusionist binary trans people complaining about this but I can't name a single example of it actually happening.
And the worst part of it all is that she thought she wasn't clear enough about subversivism being about Nasty Nonbinarys harming the Trve Transsexual Womyn. So she renamed it from "subversivism" to "Compulsory Genderqueerness". Yes, as a reference to "compulsory heterosexuality". Julia Serano literally thinks that there is social pressure to be genderqueer, which is equivalent in magnitude to the social pressure to be heterosexual. And she's referenced it recently, so she seems to still believe this. If people gave a single fuck about nonbinary people, then saying that "Compulsory Genderqueerness" exists would have destroyed her credibility forever.
^^^ All of this, but perhaps especially this:
Exclusionist binary trans people think that they are the most transgressive people in the queer community. So when nonbinary, non-dysphoric, gnc people etc. say "hello, we're also trans", exclusionist binary trans people project their intentions onto us and think we're vying for their crown or something lol. Because I've seen like 100 exclusionist binary trans people complaining about this but I can't name a single example of it actually happening.
This is why it's hard to take Serano in good faith on subversivism to me. Because every other transmed or exclusionary binary trans person loves to go on and on about these exact subjects, how nonbinary people think we're better than them and how no blue haired theyfab could EVER be as socially transgressive as a binary passing feminine heterosexual trans woman (there are about 100 posts on Tumblr on this exact subject right now). Its a combination of the "I have to be the Main Character of Transness" projection, combined with people's internalized exorsexism being triggered by the idea of NB/GQ/GNC people being outspoken and politically active and actually criticizing the social structures that oppress us, which also oppress binary trans people but which they find some validation in appealing to so they take it as a personal attack.
On June 29, Bannon said the White House’s document effort and Pulte would together supply the predicate, his word, for an emergency declaration.
On June 20, Steve Bannon told his War Room audience that Bill Pulte’s job at ODNI is “to get to the bottom of the 2020 stolen election.” Pulte has no intelligence background at all and still runs the Federal Housing Finance Agency while nominally overseeing all 18 spy agencies (a part-time gig, apparently). ... NBC News reported on June 30 that a White House task force is pulling thousands of pages from the CIA, the NSA, the FBI, the Justice Department, and Pulte’s ODNI, with plans to declassify a chunk of it. Running it is John Solomon, the Just the News founder whose Biden-Ukraine misinformation earned him 2019 Misinformer of the Year from my old colleagues at Media Matters, alongside Derek Harvey, a first-term Trump national security aide. And per NBC’s sources, members have been urged to keep redactions light, even where that means leaving in the names of officials and private citizens. The only reasons to publish private citizens’ names in declassified intelligence files are political ones. And Trump keeps leaving fingerprints. On July 1, he told reporters that Pulte has free rein to declassify whatever he wants, 2020 records included, while noting Pulte would only be around another month or two. That same week he posted about meeting Tina Peters, the former Colorado clerk convicted of tampering with voting machines in service of his stolen-election claims, and in late June he torched a bipartisan housing bill’s signing ceremony to squeeze Congress on the SAVE America Act, which he’s taken to calling a national emergency in itself. The one thing this plan still needs, besides a president willing to deliver it on camera, is an audience that hasn’t seen the actual record.
Steve Bannon already said what Thursday’s speech is for. The only question left is whether ABC, CBS, and NBC hand over the airwaves to deliv
Here’s what Thursday’s staging is built to make you forget: the question of foreign involvement in the 2020 election was investigated to death, in real time, by Donald Trump’s own government, under rules Donald Trump signed. His September 2018 executive order requires the intelligence community to formally assess foreign interference after every federal election. The assessment for 2020, declassified in March 2021, found “no indications that any foreign actor attempted to alter any technical aspect” of the voting process. Registration, ballot casting, tabulation, reporting: all clean. A companion review by the Justice Department and DHS, with the FBI and CISA doing the digging, hit the same dead end: no evidence any foreign government-linked actor blocked anyone from voting, changed a vote, disrupted a count, or compromised registration data or ballots. Foreign governments did run operations around that election. They aimed at voters’ heads, which is a different thing from touching the vote, and that difference is important. ... Bill Barr, then Trump’s own attorney general, said in December 2020 that the department found no outcome-flipping fraud. Courts tossed the lawsuits by the dozen. Georgia counted its ballots three times, once by hand; Biden won every count. On China, where this push keeps pointing: the intelligence community assessed with high confidence that Beijing considered getting involved and decided it wasn’t worth it. As for Thursday’s declassified props, the likely seed material is already public, and it’s embarrassing. In June 2025, Kash Patel declassified an anonymous tip from August 2020 claiming China had manufactured fake driver’s licenses, built on TikTok data, to flood the mail with fraudulent Biden ballots. The FBI’s own files describe the tip as recalled and never fully pursued, and it falls apart on contact: TikTok accounts had no address field, so the scheme’s fake voters have no addresses; registration checks and ballot signature matching would catch it at any scale; it would require armies of noncitizens to commit a deportable felony officials and courts keep finding vanishingly rare; and when Customs did seize counterfeit licenses at O’Hare in 2020, the government found no link to voting. The Center for Democracy and Technology, anticipating this exact moment back in March, laid out the bar for any new 2020 claim: genuinely new intelligence, an accounting of how it differs from what the spy agencies, DOJ, and DHS already reviewed, and a reason the original conclusions were wrong. Watch Thursday with that checklist in hand.
sorry to keep complaining about serano but also like. the frustrating thing about the "subversivism" narrative is that it puts nb/gq/gnc people in a position where we can never be casually flippant about the binary, or find pride in being nb/gq/gnc in spite of the oppression we face for it. god fucking forbid you make a joke about the binary being boring around the wrong person & now they are talking about you thinking feminine trans women are transphobic for not being transgressive enough, because they feel empowered to interpret nonbinary people in bad faith. can't make any theory which depicts being nonbinary as politically powerful or something that can motivate one's dedication feminism and the fight for collective liberation, cause now that means you think binary gender conforming straight trans people are regressive and you want to forceandrogynize everybody.
its just Funny how nonbinary people are always being depicted as irrational feminine children but also aggressive masculine oppressors who are unfairly attacking the natural binary that must be centered at all costs! i'm sure this implies nothing about certain ideas that have been internalized by everyone by patriarchal society.
btw i have seen some people using ''birthday girl'' to refer to transphobic trans women and i Do Not Like That. don't do that shit.
primarily because i think its fucking weird to have catty little insults for trans people we disagree with, even and perhaps especially when we disagree with them over actually harmful things they've done or rhetoric they contribute to. its unhelpful and adds fuel to the fire of emotion-first "my pain justifies being an asshole, if you want me to be kinder you just don't get my suffering" trans infighting, and no matter how good it feels i do not think it is right! it hurts all of us whether directly or indirectly because it contributes to a toxic culture, and it is genuinely poison to organizing socially and politically against patriarchy.
but also, on a practical level (which as a pragmatist i do not think is actually separate from the ethical level), its a bad fucking look! it is weird and shitty that people are so invested in coming up with catty little insults, or just adopting pre-existing slurs, to describe trans people they think are being transmisogynistic instead of just saying they are being transmisogynistic, and i think it is illustrative of the trends prevalent in the "transandrophobia isn't real" sphere that this is a thing people engage in and defend so much. if you agree with that point, you should understand that turning around and calling trans women "birthday girls" weakens that criticism! it makes it look hypocritical and easily written off!
when done right, taking the moral high ground should strengthen your arguments by making it so that people cannot argue you are being cruel or vindictive or bigoted when you make your point. it may be less satisfying but it is all around better for all of us. if you genuinely want there to be less cruelty from trans people towards trans people, you have to take some responsibility for the role you play in that. we all do! if The Discourse is really pissing you off, find ways to process that anger and frustration and pain that don't contribute to the very thing causing them in the first place.
any insult that can be boiled down to "you're not special and you need to stop acting like you are" doesn't address the core issue that the things they say make others feel not special. or human. or whatever. it's just bickering about who matters less.

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btw i have seen some people using ''birthday girl'' to refer to transphobic trans women and i Do Not Like That. don't do that shit.
primarily because i think its fucking weird to have catty little insults for trans people we disagree with, even and perhaps especially when we disagree with them over actually harmful things they've done or rhetoric they contribute to. its unhelpful and adds fuel to the fire of emotion-first "my pain justifies being an asshole, if you want me to be kinder you just don't get my suffering" trans infighting, and no matter how good it feels i do not think it is right! it hurts all of us whether directly or indirectly because it contributes to a toxic culture, and it is genuinely poison to organizing socially and politically against patriarchy.
but also, on a practical level (which as a pragmatist i do not think is actually separate from the ethical level), its a bad fucking look! it is weird and shitty that people are so invested in coming up with catty little insults, or just adopting pre-existing slurs, to describe trans people they think are being transmisogynistic instead of just saying they are being transmisogynistic, and i think it is illustrative of the trends prevalent in the "transandrophobia isn't real" sphere that this is a thing people engage in and defend so much. if you agree with that point, you should understand that turning around and calling trans women "birthday girls" weakens that criticism! it makes it look hypocritical and easily written off!
when done right, taking the moral high ground should strengthen your arguments by making it so that people cannot argue you are being cruel or vindictive or bigoted when you make your point. it may be less satisfying but it is all around better for all of us. if you genuinely want there to be less cruelty from trans people towards trans people, you have to take some responsibility for the role you play in that. we all do! if The Discourse is really pissing you off, find ways to process that anger and frustration and pain that don't contribute to the very thing causing them in the first place.
#get peer reviewed#also for fuck's sake do NOT pull out any variation of feminazi.#i've seen it once or twice and if you pull that shit you are being a bigot#incredibly counterproductive and DEEPLY embarassing.#no I don't care what they said to you don't fucking do it.
get peer reviewed x2
never let your opponent dictate what the moral high road is, but that doesn't mean you stop giving a fuck about morality. taking a firm ethical stance on how you engage with other people, especially other oppressed people, will ALWAYS do a million times more for actual liberation than the cathartic mud-slinging ever will. you are hurting everyone when you pull this kind of bullshit.
Politicians keep pushing surveillance state legislation "for the children" like, bitch, none of us can afford children, what the hell are you talking about