The thing about identity pissmatches is that identity alone in a supremacist structure is not enough, you must also perform.
Women are seen as inherently lesser. You must also perform womanhood, femininity, etc and if you do a good enough job, you are granted little treats. You are still treated "like a woman" but you are in a position of considerable more grace than those who do not perform as well as you do.
Men are seen as inherently better. But you must also perform manhood, masculinity, etc and if you do a good enough job, you are at mimumum seen as deserving of preference, and at peak, held up as the gold standard of personhood. If you fail to perform, you are slowly stripped of the position of "superior" and can be cast to the lowest of positions.
BOTH of these are JUST along gendered lines.
A Black man is seen as more than Black women, he is conditionally seen as better than white women, and he is seen as inferior to white men.
Queerness, transness, intersex status, race, ethnicity, religion, disability, class, etc all of these things impact your performance.
The only actual peak of the hierarchy (in most Western societies) is a white cishet perisex non-disabled (not intellectually, not mentally, not physically, not ANY) rich Christian man who is attractive and SELLS that.
Everyone else EXCEPT for this imagined god among people is "less than" and everyone is judged on our ability to pretend to be him. The farther we are from him, the less power we have, the less autonomy we have, the less of a person we are.
Really, no one is him. He does not exist. There are people who are close, but they are performing too.
So the inclusion of "even the patriarchy hurts cis men" is not a boo hoo poor cis baby boys we need to coddle them, it's that the standards set for all of us are unattainable and recognizing that everyone is a peer in one form or another is crucial to dismantling these systems.
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