My pigtails are gone

the idea that you can buy milk at the grocery store seems just so self evident. it's hard to imagine the time before pasteurization and refrigeration were common, when the milkman would come by your house every morning and lactate into a bottle for you.

and fuck your wife!

and fuck your wife

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

They sting. I got ouched by one a couple days ago. The vest is for your protection.

Seconding the School of Chocolate recommendation! It was such a refreshing change from other food "competition" shows of it's ilk and it gave me immense respect for him as a person, beyond just his skill/mastery of the dark arts

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

Wait shit wrong fucking post

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like "DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen" and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like "please don't do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen" and everyone around me being like "that sounds fake" and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!

As an adult I think me and all my friends should all have matching schedules and work like 20 hours a week and also everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other why is that so much to ask