Dragoning Around

Every time I watch HTTYD 2, I always notice Valka's lines:

"— This wasn't a vicious beast, but an intelligent, gentle creature, whose soul reflected my own."

"— With his icy breath, this graceful giant built our nest."

"— We all live under his care and his command."

"— This is what it is to be a dragon, Hiccup."

She calls herself a dragon and includes herself in anything related to the dragons of the nest; furthermore, I've noticed that sometimes she acts like one(unfortunately, I couldn't bring the specific scenes to show). In Hiccup's case, I feel that what he has with dragons is simply a connection, but in Valka's case, I can't help but see her as a dragon.

At the end of the day, that is just how I see things. Unfortunately, I haven't seen any canon alterhuman representation yet.

I'm both very excited and very nervous about it arriving. The last time I tried to replicate a source-based look for one of my kins, it went... poorly. At the time I thought I'd just not 'succeeded' with my cosplay to my high standards (and there was an element of that) but in hindsight I realised the whole thing had made me super dysphoric. There was still joy in there, too, but the kin dysphoria was really confusing at the time.

That was part of the reasoning for buying this suit though, instead of making my own (which I still plan to do eventually). I'm hoping something high quality will feel... more authentic to wear.

It's here!!!

The cape drew me Immediately. Which is interesting because I remember thinking I didn't really like this cape design much, but... it just drew me in. I put my hands on it and clutched the fabric between my fingers and it felt RIGHT. It felt... comforting. It gave me this feeling deep in my chest which Ached but also felt so warm. I wanted to wrap myself in it, let it hold me. I think there might be some significance to the origin of it, for me, in my canon. I think maybe it came from Krypton (I know this is the case in at least one iteration, but I'll have to look into others)

The other pieces of the suit do feel like a costume. And I mean, even the cape has Velcro on it. But I liked the fabric more than I expected. It was lighter, stronger than I expected it to be. And the cape is the same fabric as the other pieces, for the record, same texture as the skirt at least. But it feels different emotionally, if that makes sense

The suit is still something special. Not comforting in the way the cape is but... Safe? Confident? The S shield is rubber, which was a surprise and a delight (I expected something lesser in quality). It's rigid on my chest and that feels... good. Right. Strong. It felt like putting on armour

When I looked in the mirror I felt like I could reach out and touch my abilities again, the powers I used to have under a yellow sun. The flip side of that was the reminder that I very much do not have those powers now. I didn't feel light, like I could fly. I could still feel the all-too-human instinct against danger and pain, ever present in my mind. I knew my body wasn't as strong or durable or fast as I keep believing it is. And those realities hit me kind of harder than they usually do

There was a weird balance of dysphoria and euphoria. I looked more like Supergirl than ever. I looked good. But the sight did make me mourn for what I feel I've 'lost'

But also... there was such a peace to it. I looked in the mirror and I didn't hate my face with the suit. That's usually my problem, my face is too different and too distinct (not that I hate it day to day, but it makes kin euphoria a little difficult sometimes. Fictionkintypes especially). But my face didn't alienate me from the suit. It worked with it. I could see the Supergirl, the Kara Zor El, that I am. I didn't need to be a picture perfect recreation of some artist rendition or actor's portrayal; I was me. I was the me who is Supergirl. And that was a relief, honestly, to finally see that

I need to talk about the cape again, because wearing it added another layer to the feelings. It felt so natural. Now, it might be a general holdover from being dragonkin (I have always felt the need for weight and movement on my back) but the way it swished and swayed so gently and so in balance with my steps... I felt so at home in my own skin, then. 'Maybe that's why I wear the suit,' I remember thinking. 'Maybe that's why I wear the cape. Why I do the hero thing at all. Because wearing it feels this natural. This comforting.'

I love the way the cape sits over my shoulders. It makes them feel protected, stronger. It curls around me so if my arms are down by my sides I can hook the edges with my fingers and hold it (I've realised I'm actually doing it in the photo). It's comfortable, doing that. It doesn't look strong, or confident. But it's comforting

Just because they arent physically there doesnt give them the ability to phase through stuff.

of the comfortable positions we actually usually work in a variation of the middle one, we sit on chairs sideways a lot since it provides good support for our torso without restricting us too much.

Sorry for the lack of activity, ideas have been slow.

-s (they/them)