meeting a young recently commissioned officer & army doctor dankovsky on the train to the Capital... anna karenina-esque scenario. i'm afraid i will not rest until i write this thought.
taking the train was a routine you loathed greatly, as your legs protested at the mere idea of remaining seated in a cabin for hours, traversing the frozen wastelands back to civilization. it was a necessary evil, you thought. you had needed a getaway from the hustle and bustle of the metropolis, and your uncle was more than glad to host you in his estate. the elaborate mansion was tucked away in the country, far too close to the south-east where war raged. your uncle was never preoccupied by such events, on the contrary; he'd hosted many high ranking officers to boost morale and for the sake of their tales of the battlefield. needless to say, you'd been thoroughly entertained during the time you spent there, so much that the Capital's endless noise and glittering lights began to fade from your memory. as the scenery grew too monotonous, you got out of your cabin to walk, squeezing past the few passengers lingering in the corridor and making your way to a less stuffy compartment. a gust of icy wind almost sweeps you off your feet as you step outside between the compartments, and you barely have the time to hold onto your hat forsaking it to hold onto the railing.
having crossed to the other side, and before you can curse and lament your lost hat, you are met with the sight of a young officer holding it out to you; his expression betrayed nothing, schooled into a neutral set of his jaw. his uniform was crisp, not a single wrinkle on it. the stripes did not tell you much, but his armband did. the young man was clearly an army doctor, riding on this train possibly on his way back to the Capital from the southern front. you reach to take the hat from him, your words of gratitude coming to a halt as you await his introduction, and he does not make you wait.
"lieutenant daniil dmitrievich dankovsky, at your service," he nods once, one arm folded in front of him as he watches you freeze, as though recognizing him, "shall we?" he's impatient when he gestures for you to either return where you were, or continue on your little walk so he could pass to the next compartment as well. you hastily apologize, and let him pass but not without asking him whether he was the son of lieutenant colonel dmitry sergeyivich dankovsky, and the man stills before turning to face you in a singular motion.
"you are acquainted with father, then?" he walks like he expects you to fall in line with him, and you have no choice but to follow and explain that while you weren't acquainted with him personally, your uncle was friends with him and oftentimes had him over and spoke of him highly. daniil seems to piece things together the more you talk, and there is recognition in his gaze as he looks at you now, as well as an inkling of careful familiarity. he invites you to his cabin, since you were far from your own and he was willing to satisfy some of your curiosity.
lieutenant dankovsky's cabin was as regular as any, the only hint of his presence was the neat suitcase resting on the opposite bench where you sat across from him, and the papers next to him. letters, you thought. or reports; you did not care, it was the man you cared about. setting his service cap aside, he sat straight, regaling you with tales of the academy after you'd asked how he'd chosen military medicine. he only pauses to take out his flask, offering it to you first. when you decline, he nods and takes a swig before continuing.
"death is all that awaits us at the end of the day, do you not agree? and it is one's choice to either chase it or delay it," dankovsky looks at you as though he already knows that you agree, "i refused to chase death. i have instead dedicated my life to delaying it, but utter conquest is my true objective." there is a rare flame in his eyes when he speaks of this conquest, one that you hadn't seen in anyone in a long time. you find it admirable and you voice it, causing him to go silent for several minutes.
"thank you. i was never made to take a life," he says, his gaze forlorn, "which seems to be a strange thing to say these days. i am glad you do not think so, however." you could swear you saw fondness in his eyes, but it dissipates like a mirage as his usual expression returns.
lieutenant dankovsky is graceful enough to walk you back to your cabin and wish you a pleasant trip, although you are too reluctant to leave him. however, a little problem with the luggage upon disembarking lets you see him again, and you are as delighted as you were the first time.
"our paths cross at the most unfortunate of occurrences, it seems." he comments as he helps you find your other suitcase amidst the chaos of passengers looking for their own belongings. the uniform seems to disperse the crowd, and you are almost too giddy to wield him like a weapon.
"will this be all, then?" he carries it for you to where you were supposed to await your spouse, and before he could bid you farewell, he watches you kiss another in greeting and only now does the lieutenant notice the ring. the ring on your left wedding finger. the ring, and the kiss, and you, apologetic as you turn to him. dankovsky nods once, arm folded in front of him before bowing and leaving the both of you, not sparing a word. it wasn't his place to speak nor yours, but you could hardly focus on your spouse's words when all you thought about was that fire in the lieutenant's eyes, the one you secretly wished it would consume you.
the evening is full of noise and the usual atmosphere of a Capital dinner party hosted by your spouse, out of obligation. you had chosen not to indulge too much, opting out to read in a quiet corner and as you move across the main hall, the sight of a familiar uniform catches your eye and you freeze. lieutenant dankovsky, asking the butler to announce him and you dismiss the latter before he could.
you have to contain yourself before him, and you ask him what he came for in the most charming of tones. the lieutenant smiles, taking off his cap: "i followed you," he simply says, like it's the most normal statement ever uttered, "i had to see you. forgive me, i will leave. i just-" your spouse appears behind you, asking who this was and the lieutenant is sacrificial enough to lie for the both of you, say he came to return something you'd lost due to the luggage problem earlier and he leaves again, this time having made sure that the ring was real, and so was everything else. meanwhile you struggle to live with his words, wondering what you'd say if you saw him again. a sudden feeling of dread washes over you, but it's momentary as you snap out of it. you could sense finality looming ahead, but not without a fight and all you could do was silently brace yourself, retiring to your chambers early tonight.














