help

No deleting questions, either!

❛ i don’t know what i’m doing with my life, but i know i’m doing it wrong ❜ ❛ i am so cute and bitter ❜ ❛ my life is one part ‘wait’ and another part ‘what’ ❜ ❛ my #1 talent is saying stupid things to people and immediately regretting it ❜ ❛ i love sleeping to avoid problems ❜ ❛ i hate myself a lot but i get offended when other people do ❜ ❛ i’m hungrier than the neopet i neglected for nine years ❜ ❛ hit me up if you wanna date a piece of shit ❜ ❛ we need some new and more powerful swears ❜ ❛ i get progressively uglier throughout the day ❜ ❛ i’m so miserable, but i laugh at everything ❜ ❛ i need something that is more than coffee, but less than cocaine ❜ ❛ just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. it’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot. ❜ ❛ 90 out of 10 people agree that math is fucking lame ❜ ❛ if you think i’m ugly now, you should have seen me in 2009 ❜ ❛ 2010 me would literally be terrified of 2016 me and i love it ❜ ❛ i have a rare skin condition called close the fucking blinds ❜ ❛ hey babe, i made you this mixtape for valentines day. i don’t know many love songs, so it’s just uptown funk 18 times in a row. ❜ ❛ there are people who know me in real life who think i’m straight and that’s really funny to me ❜ ❛ i was cursed with expensive taste and a low budget ❜ ❛ yo dude i trusted you wtf the fuck? what the fuck?? what the fuck what the ❜ ❛ open flannel shirts and lingerie are the hottest thing and nobody can convince me otherwise ❜ ❛ i’m the weird dad, wine mom, vodka aunt, and gay emo cousin all in one person ❜ ❛ that awful moment when you wake up ❜ ❛ damn haha i’m going to have to deal with that sooner or later ❜ ❛ are we gonna fucking hold hands tonight or what bitch ❜ ❛ people our age have children what the hell i am a children ❜ ❛ i don’t like your clothes. take them off. ❜ ❛ why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 4 am? ❜ ❛ after i die, i’ll probably still complain ❜ ❛ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel ❜ ❛ if i don’t insult you daily, it means i don’t like you ❜ ❛ do something with your life that would make a 1950s straight white man angry ❜ ❛ i need to get laid… to rest. put me in a coffin. let my soul ascend. ❜ ❛ i’m trying to be a better person, but some people are testing me ❜ ❛ i’m overstressed and underfucked ❜ ❛ i can’t wait to be a piece of shit with a bachelors degree ❜ ❛ my emo phase never went away, it just aged like fine wine ❜ ❛ my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment ❜ ❛ i don’t have time for people who don’t believe in aliens ❜ ❛ the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting ❜ ❛ why do good concert tickets happen to bad people ❜ ❛ i can’t play hard to get i’m already hard to want ❜ ❛ i’m still pissed off about growing up ❜ ❛ if you listen carefully, you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜ ❛ when i die i want my heart donated to NASA so they can finally see what a black hole looks like up close ❜ ❛ single and ready to take a 20 hour nap ❜ ❛ write ‘nothing is set in stone’ on my grave as both a witty joke and a subtle warning that i will be back ❜ ❛ how do people even put up with me like i can’t even put up with me ❜ ❛ the opening riff to mr. brightside could literally raise me from the dead ❜ ❛ stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical  ❜ ❛ sorry, i’m poor. i can’t afford to pay attention ❜ ❛ aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall ❜ ❛ is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep? ❜ ❛ my neutral expression makes me look like i’m always in a bad mood which is convenient because it’s usually true ❜ ❛ i never run voluntarily so if you ever see me running you should start running too because something is coming ❜

[text] When I’m not with you, my heart hurts. [text] At some point, the phrase “I’ve hit rock bottom” became less of a figure of speech and more of the general state of my life. [text] I thought being with you would make me happy - I was wrong. [text] I should have known that when you said you still wanted to be friends, you didn’t mean it. [text] So, what, are you just not going to talk to me ever again? [text] How did we go from talking every single day to … this? [text] You know, you not answering my calls or texts is a testament to how much of a coward you really are. [text] I don’t like to leave loose ends and I realized I needed to live up to my own problems and insecurities. [text] You owe me a fucking apology. [text] We used to be best friends - where did it go wrong? [text] I can’t be without you. Please don’t do this to me. [text] (He/she/they) told me what you said, you asshole. [text] What the hell is wrong with you!? [text] Why the fuck would you do something like that? [text] YOU’RE A RUDE BITCH AND I HOPE YOU STUB YOUR TOE LATER TODAY [text] Thank you for finally showing me the truth about you. The truth is, you’re a dick. [text] Fact: You’re adorable. Also fact: You stink at board games. But I love you. [text] I’m a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. I’M DOOMED. [text] Can you and your overnight guest maybe keep it down? I’m trying to sleep. [text] I’m bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff. [text] Listen, I may be naive, but I know what it means when they send that eggplant emoji. [text] YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT’S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON [text] I think after tonight I’m 85% lesbian [text] So at what point of the night are we going to decide everyone at this party sucks and we should just fuck each other? [text] Sorry your girlfriend got you a present and you forgot to get her one. How long will your dick be dry? [text] You need to get home NOW. The oven is on fire and the fire department is officially ignoring my calls. HELP! [text]I’m sitting on the couch at 2 AM eating fried chicken in my underwear. Who is the real winner here? [text] I am not ubering you a puppy. [text] If you bring me coffee and a greasy breakfast sandwich, I’ll love you forever. [text] Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire? [text] Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn’t mean you can act like a nudist. [text] The only things I am doing today are things one can do without wearing a bra. [text] I’m a grown woman and just cried because we ran out of Cheetos. I have PMS. Bring Cheetos to my place, or die. [text] I’ll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when you’re not around [text] The worst thing about living at your parents’ place again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up booty calls. [text] You are probably the most infuriating person I’ve ever met…but you’re weirdly sexy. What I’m saying, is come over. [text] Please don’t bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won’t get confused. [text] How could (he/she/they) not like you!? You’re like, annoying relatable. Like Jennifer Lawrence. [text] Who says you can’t have Reese’s Cups for breakfast? Fucking losers, that’s who. [text] If your (boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other) finds a random like on an Instagram post from 64 weeks ago, that was me. Oops. [text] The only thing I crossed off my to do list today was get high. I’m going places. [text] (He/she/they) is a total bitch and a crappy party host so I stole their dog. It likes me better. [text] I feel like I cold have been bitchier and missed an opportunity. [text] I’m only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar. [text] Would you think less of me if I told you I was eating pizza on the toilet right now? [text] THE LAST STRAW WAS YOU CHANGING THE NETFLIX PASSWORD [text] Dude, what’s wrong with me? I’m like a strong independent woman and shit. [text] DON’T YOU DARE PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL BITCH AND ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU YOU [text] I’m just so full of love and alcohol [text] WHY WOULD YOU DRUNK DIAL MY HOUSE PHONE YOU IDIOT

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

     Well I don’t think you’re garbage. That’s also kind of an      important part of that whole equation. And I mean hey,      last I checked your brother didn’t want you hanging out      with me either, but here we aaare.

Knowing Suguru he was only saying that cause your brother was trash talking me. He probably doesn’t think anything bad about you at all. . .I’m still pretty sure your brother hates me. Moreso that I’m Suguru’s brother than anything else. . .

     I’m about 90% certain my brother thinks any boy within a 2 meter radius of me is garbage.

I am also a Daishou and attend Nohebi. I think that’s your confirmation that you should be 100% certain he thinks I’m garbage.

    Mean, Daishou, mean.

We’re not allowed to be friends. Your brother thinks I’m garbage.