help i'm alive @thaliakeene - Tumblr Blog

What’s the point of all this if we can’t go home? .. It does. It’s hard to believe we were only in there for… two days? A little over two days. It’s weird. [Haul gave a small nod and frowned] I don’t think I’d like to stay here if they did end up killing them… Not even the Capitol is doing that. [For all they knew].

I was planning on going to visit her to tell her just that, so I’ll let her know. [Haul laughed a bit and nodded] I think we would have managed, thankfully all we really seemed to have working against us was the elements. [He raised his eyebrows] What? Of course we’re friends!

thaliakeene

Has it only been two days? It's felt like so much longer... [Thalia grows quiet and looks down at her feet before jerking her head up when Haul mentions killing the other tributes. She whispers her next words, afraid of being overheard and thrown into a cell as well.] I don't like staying here now, but especially if they kill Silver and Tatiana and the others...it's like going from one tyrant to the next if they do. If the Capitol is going to kill the ones left behind...they're going to make a big show of it, show the districts that they still have power. [She shook her head and sighed.]

Oh -- well that's good. [Thalia cracked a smile at Haul's laugh.] Yeah, though I think all of us pretty much dealt with the elements while we were in there. I mean, it was crazy how many natural disasters were packed into two days. [Thalia felt her cheeks heat and a smile spread across her lips when Haul said they were friends, her voice was soft, strained from so much use, but she spoke nonetheless.] I'm glad...

#c: haul

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haul-morgan

Hopefully it’ll last a few months… Just because the war may go on for years doesn’t mean we have to be here for that long, I guess. Maybe if we say something they might listen to us. These people didn’t know Azalea at all, they didn’t know any of the Tributes who died. Why is it right they can judge what happens? I can understand them being watched for the safety of the other people living here, but this seems a little extreme.

I don’t think either of us would have done half as well if Tatiana hadn’t given me the supplies and spear like she did, anyway. [Smiles a bit and pats Talia on the shoulder.] We’re even.

thaliakeene

I hope not, it'd be nice to go home. I didn't realize how much I'd miss it until I left. It's...been so long since we've been home. Feels just like yesterday that we were reaped and strangers to all of this. Maybe, I mean I hope they'd listen to us since we were in that arena. If I say that Silver should live and I was the one she tried to kill that should mean something. It does, why get us out of that arena only to kill us later on? Why not let us die in there and grab the mentors before everyone went home? It makes no sense.

That's true...guess we should thank her too. Though I think we could have managed without it for a little bit. [ Looking up, Thalia shot Haul another smile. ] Guess it makes us friends too? [ She asked hopefully. ]

#c: haul

haul-morgan

No. I’m sure they’ll kick us out of here the moment things are done, no matter what we have to go back to or not. But we can’t be sure how long this is going to last. What if it’s years? I just know that… things here are strict. The tributes who killed people are in prison for it… They’re even talking about executing them… [Haul shook his head a little and frowned] What’s good is that gonna do? Not even— Even Silver doesn’t deserve to die. No matter what she did, and I know Azalea would have thought that too. Yeah, you’re right. And District Eleven is big, there’s no way they’d be able to destroy the whole thing. Though I can’t imagine things there are good at the moment. And the laws there were always strict…

Hah. I was just thinking the same thing. I doubt I would have made it out of there without you.

thaliakeene

Right, I didn't think of it like that. I keep thinking maybe this will last a few months -- I hope it doesn't drag out for years that'll be awful for everyone. Even the people in the Capitol who are just people living their lives - granted privileged lives, but lives all the same. Seriously? I...had hoped that was a rumor, a false rumor at that. As pissed as I am at Silver, I don't think she should die either. None of them should and if they're going by that logic shouldn't our mentors be put to trial and executed as well? They're body counts are higher. Yeah..I don't think it's much better in Five, they probably can't go anywhere but the plants and back home. Well, I guess we're even then huh? [She grins gently before dropping her gaze to her feet in embarrassment.]

#c: haul

haul-morgan

Yeah… And who knows if we even get to go back. That’s… probably not a very positive sounding thing to say, but we don’t know how long this rebellion is going to last. I’m sorry your family wasn’t able to come here, there hasn’t really been much news about what is happening in Five, maybe it’s not so bad. — I get that. I hope he’s alright too. You said he was the one that told you to come talk to me, right? So, I guess it’s a good thing he had good taste in tributes.

thaliakeene

I - no it's not. What makes you say that? Have they said something about keeping us here after? That doesn't sound like this place is much better than the Capitol if that's the case. Just because it'd be a different opression doesn't make it okay -- but then again I've been in the medical ward most of the time and my room so I haven't heard much. Honestly, you're the first person I've talked to since I got here, well minus Spikelet. I hope so...I know we're not one of the worst off Districts out there and we do provide the power to the Capitol so there's hope at least. I'm sure Eleven is okay...they can't bomb every district, that'd just leave them with now power or food which is counter productive. Snow doesn't want to rule over ash right?

Yeah he did actually, I didn't think you'd actually agree when I talked to you, ha. So, thanks again for sticking with me. I doubt..I would have made it out of there without you.

#c: haul

switchedurls

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I know you wanted to be loved Cause you’re bleeding, left alone So, so, so alone…

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haul-morgan

I know what you mean. There is always something to keep you occupied here, it’s easy to… forget about things for a little. Yeah, you know, that goes both ways, Thalia. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. And I’m— I’m sorry about your mentor not making it, the man. He was the one who sent you the paper, right?

thaliakeene

It is easy. I worry about what will happen when they send us all back home - if there is one to go back to. When it's all over I guess we'll have to find new distractions. Thanks, I mean it -- I don't really have anyone here. Five is - well it was too hard to get my family out apparently. Oh -- thank you, and yeah he was. Spikelet trained me, but...I knew she really wanted Jethro to make it out which is fine but I was...closer I guess to Watt. I just - hope he's alright. Or as alright as he can be in the Capitol right now.

#c: haul

haul-morgan

Yeah… I know. But, I guess that we just… do what we can.

thaliakeene

The routine of life here helps a little bit, at least for me. I keep busy enough that I don't have time to think about what happened. Do you have nightmares? I feel like I have one every night. I should probably ask Spikelet if they ever go away. Though -- uh, if you ever need to talk to someone about what happened in there..I'll listen. I mean, we did go through that together, that has to count for something right?

#c: haul

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Sophie Turner for Tatler UK (April 2014) [x]

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haul-morgan

You sound fine, and it’s definitely better then the paper. I’m doing okay, over all. My sisters, and my dad were all able to make it here, and a friend of our family — Not my mom or grandparents, unfortunately. But — uh, we’re adjusting. Yeah.

thaliakeene

Well, at least someone thinks I do. It's going to take...some getting used to. Oh - I'm sorry about your mom, that has to be hard. On top of everything else that is. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever fully adjust here - honestly I don't think I'll adjust anywhere after -- you know.

#c: haul

haul-morgan

You’re talking! That’s great! How are you feeling?

I think the potatoes are okay because they grow underground, like we are now.

thaliakeene

Yeah, no more paper. Though, I sound like I'm sick which sucks. The doctors think this is how I'll sound for the rest of my life. But - I'm just glad to talk. I'm feeling okay, a little sore still and a little in shock. How about you? Did any of your family make it here?

#c: haul

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haul-morgan

Everything tastes so artificial here.

thaliakeene

The potatoes aren't that bad, but yeah - everything else tastes funny.

#c: haul #//this is the first time she's talked since the arena and her surgeRY TO FIX HER THROAT AND VOCAL CHORDS #her voice is strained #like she's sick

spikelet-spark

Given the amount of time we’ve been here if they have a television feed to the Capitol we’ll know who they took that’s still alive soon. The Capitol will want to show their trophies.

I don’t think they’ll have public executions. The common people of the Capitol love their Victors too much for them to be killed on command without rebellion breaking out there. If they kill them they’ll say it was a result of rebels.

thaliakeene

[ Thalia's head was fuzzy from the medication they put her on to keep her from feeling too much pain. It didn't work very well though. Spikelet's worse confused her, public executions? Killing those left behind? They wouldn't really do that will they? Quickly she grabbed her pen and pad of paper and wrote: ] They - wouldn't kill Watt would they?

#c: spikelet

Thalia had no idea what was happening when it seemed like the whole sky seemed to collapse down around her and Haul. Her eyes were wide as she looked up to see the night sky and hovercrafts sinking down into the arena. Her head whipped over to Haul, eyes filling with tears as she realized what he said about the rebellion was true. That they didn't have to die in this arena. Pushing back the tears, Thalia waited until she was picked up and soon enough she was in the hovercraft, her body shaking with tremors. The exhaustion from the past couple days hit her completely and all Thalia wanted to do was curl up somewhere and sleep.

But she couldn't yet. She looked around the hovercraft, eyes seeking out her mentors. Immediately her eyes landed on Spikelet, but when it became clear Watt wasn't on board she started to freak. She wanted to scream and demand to know where he was, to know what exactly was going on. But she couldn't, so instead she sat there on the floor looking small and angry and relieved and tired.

#stc starter

The monsters in our head are scared | Haul & Thalia [Day 2]

Haul: put his arm around Thalia's shoulders when she leaned against him and looked down at the paper as she wrong. But all he could do was shrug and shake his head in response. "I don't know." He said carefully. "But I think... it should give us enough reason to try." He meant to try to get out of this Arena. To keep going so they could maybe eventually go home. He had no idea what would be happening, or when it would be happening but he hoped soon. The more he thought about it the more disappointed he was that he never got the opportunity to ask his parents what was really going on. What they knew. Anything that would help him now. But there just hadn't been enough time to ask, not after he had been Reaped. Not with all those Peacekeepers around. "So, any ideas where we should head? Or should we just pick a random direction and go with it." He asked as his mouth quirked up into a smile.

Thalia: nodded along to Haul's words. He was right. Even if the rebellion didn't happen, didn't save them until there were only a handful of them left it was enough hope to /try/. Thalia had come into the Games with the drive to come out alive, but now that there was the big possibility of a rebellion happening only kicked it into high gear. Looking down at their map and up around them, Thalia sighed. The map was almost useless. The trees and everything to the east was destroyed thanks to the volcano and to the west, well who knew what would happen next. Writing on the map she said: "I guess just pick a random direction. Though, one away from the mountain/volcano."

#p: haul #p: the monsters in our head are scared

The monsters in our head are scared | Haul & Thalia [Day 2]

Haul: tried to look around without being too suspicious as he took back the map. "I don't know." He said and bent over it, making sure to talk as he wrote so it seemed like they were talking about where to go. He said things like "Maybe we should try this direction now..." or "We better avoid over here because I'm sure there will be Mutts..." And things like that but when he handed the map back to her it said something else: "I over heard my parents and grandparents talking about the Rebellion the day before the Reaping. I'm not sure what is going on, honestly but it sounded like things were happening soon... I thought maybe that had been them getting caught and killed. Unless your family was involved too, or the families of everyone here in the Arena, it seems unlikely any of that really happened. They wouldn't hurt our families while we were still in here. All I know is that was fake. And maybe if we're lucky we won't have to end up playing out a full Game in here."

Thalia: felt tears spring into her eyes for a very different reason this time as she read the words that Haul had written. A rebellion? The possibility that she wouldn't die or have to kill the rest of the tributes in here, Haul included? Relief and hope raged through her for the first time since she stepped foot into the Capitol and in her relief she sagged against Haul, pressed into his side so she didn't fall onto the ground since her legs felt like jelly at the moment. With shaky hands she wrote a reply, "We could go home? Both of us? I mean, not right away but we could go home once it's over?" But now she had more questions, like when would the rebellion show up? If they did? Assuming Haul is correct. Which Thalia prayed with every fiber of her being that he was.

#p: the monsters in our head are scared #p: haul

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The monsters in our head are scared | Haul & Thalia [Day 2]

Haul: realized the look on Thalia's face mirrored his, and he assumed her thoughts were the same. He got up and walked towards the river with his spear in his hand thinking things over. If his family was dead... he could understand why. But... Thalia's too? Was her family involved with the rebellion? And those birds weren't just around them they were all over the place he could see them flying off into the sky. He threw down his spear and went through the bag pulling out the map, which was only damp around the corners. He grabbed Thalia's pencil and started writing because he couldn't say this out loud. When he showed it to her, he made sure no one else could possibly see, but in the dark that wasn't much of a problem. "Do you know anything about the Rebellion?"

Thalia: managed to compose herself after a few minutes. Well, at least somewhat composed herself. The tears had stopped, but her breaths were still sharp and ragged, her body taunt waiting for the next disaster. Her brow furrowed when Haul grabbed her pencil and scribbled on the back of the map. What could he be writing? What did he not want to say out loud? When he finally turned the paper towards her and she read the words, her eyes widened. Rebellion? What the fuck was Haul referring to? Sure, there were always rumors, but she never believed them. Snatching the map and pencil from him she wrote out quickly: "Nothing. But is there one coming?" Handing the map and pencil back to him she covered the map with her body, hoping no cameras would catch glimpse of their words.

#p: the monsters in our head are scared #p: haul

The monsters in our head are scared | Haul & Thalia [Day 2]

Haul: and Thalia moved close together and he pressed his eyes closed, but realized that made it worse. it made it so much easier to see their faces. To see them being hurt, and killed by the Peacekeepers. It would even make sense. It would make sense if they were killed because of what he had over heard about them talking about the Rebellion. And the horrible thought went through his mind that god this wasn't fake. This was real. This had really happened. His family was dead. Everyone he knew had been killed, Everyone he knew was dead. this thought kept going through his head, almost loud enough to drowned out the jabberjays as they started thinning and flying away. Slowly. Too slowly really. But when they did finally leave he gasped and lifted his head. "They're dead. All of them." That was what jabberjays did right? They mimicked what happened and everyone he loved was now gone.

Thalia: wanted to throw up when their screams seemed to only get louder as they echoed in her head. Just as quickly as their screams seemed to reach their loudest they began to fade at a rapid pace. Her eyes cracked open and she looked around to see most of the birds gone at this point, off to torture more tributes. Her cheeks were wet and snot mingled with the tears and she was sure she looked like a mess. Haul's words made her eyes snap to his and she felt herself shatter at his words that echoed her own ones in her mind. Thalia nodded as fresh tears slipped down her cheeks and a broken sound escaped her. What was the point of surviving now if they had no family to go back to? She tried to say those words to Haul with her eyes, but she didn't hold onto hope that he'd understand her.

#p: haul #p: the monsters in our head are scared

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