i wonder if blogs can see others' private reblogs of them and its additions
Monterey Bay Aquarium

JVL
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

⁂

#extradirty
Xuebing Du

tannertan36

Product Placement
wallacepolsom
art blog(derogatory)

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Mike Driver
d e v o n
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Kaledo Art
noise dept.

Cosimo Galluzzi
h

seen from Türkiye

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@thaliadelta
i wonder if blogs can see others' private reblogs of them and its additions

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and i dont get to chooseeeee because the internal monologue never ever ever ever ever stops
i wonder what other girls must feel like when they go nonverbal. must feel so good just. not having verbal thoughts. not using their throat to speak. terrifying shutting down yes but like. i mean. they obviously can afford to. otherwise they wouldn't have made it past 10yro
oh but i forget not everybody experienced things like that~ i did !!!! and now im stuck in this hellish place where i cant even stop being verbal!! when nonverbal !!
god i am nonverbal
the~ doc~ from~ september~

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and then every single time i try to look at stuff talking about other things they allllll neglect to. you know. actually most of the time i keep running into blocked blogs, from putting red posts from red blogs on tumblockr. funsies
i mean at that point which side do i side on. and the answer is none. because i am chewable and disposable to every single person there is. because the ones like me are dead
and even then, if they lived~ why would i think they'd be fundamentally incapable of harm still? why would i think they wouldn't discard me the moment i didn't participate in joint cruelty with them?
why yes i do have that one thing really on top of my mind constantly yes
embarassing !
i'm only really up because i need to clean my room asap before it comes back. and i'm sitting writing things on my compy because. Because I'm Really Weak. wuh oh
also i am actually only barely even mobile and verbal and even fucking Conscious. nevermind if there's a headmate fronting at all, like, "my blood isn't oxygenated and sugary or whatevery enough for my brain to function"- sort

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sorry the moment i can have a coherent thought in my head again i get angry teehee
ohhh but i did think one thing while nearly immobilized there!! and it's that i sure am doing a lot of gymnastics trying to justify why i'm still really well-off. because like. at least i get to be completely alone while being immobilized!! at least i get to have privacy while suffering from profound medical neglect. among the many other neglects. it's better than suffering from profound medical neglect in the midst of medical workers who would only really like to humiliate me if they ever get to interact with me at all isn't it~
ianques talking about themselves except they have to distance themselves from Themselves by saying that it's just those suburbanites in cozy whateverthefucks and like. no. it's the seattlelites in apartments too. it's the detroitans in apartments too. why are you doing gymnastics like that
i keep seeing that fucking everywhere too. everytime oppression that isn't transmisogyny is being written, the writer Always distances themselves from being remotely capable of doing it. and like can you Not. i don't give a shit about how it's used as a dogwhistle it's used as a dogwhistle against me too you fucking prick, and worst of all you're perfectly capable of wielding the same shit in conjunction against me. so like. will you not do gymnastics to distance yourself from admitting your own capacity for harm. pretty please. can you be my sister too pretty please
because i would know that. aha
i think this is the first hour since like. a week ago. like seven times twenty-four. that i haven't felt like i'm going to die soon
i love you tumblockr
i love it even more when one of the replies is like. a green name telling the blocked ppl to fuck themselves. tells me it's working perfectly~

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“my friend is ALWAYS sick and cancelling our plans” it sounds like your friends life suuucks and you should check on them
for all intents and purposes im 29. next year ill be 29 too. youll just have to accept that