𐌕𐋅𐌄 𐌃𐌄𐌀𐌃 𐌐Ꝋ𐌄𐌕

People say they care and ask if I'm "okay," but I'm starting to think they don't actually care because all I have to say is, "I'm fine," and they will stop questioning me completely. I know if I say I am fine, I shut down the idea of help, but I can't help it.

I feel like people expect me to care when they struggle and for me to barrage them with questions, consistently asking if they want to talk about it. However, it feels like when I say I am fine, they just choose not to care anymore, like I mean nothing to them. I am sick of constantly worrying when my friends are struggling when it feels like they only care about me because of how it makes them look.

Before you say anything, I am aware people can't read minds and stuff like that. I just feel like I have become more aware of other people's feelings while they have become less aware of my feelings.

Does this make me weird, or is this normal?

I know its been some time since i have posted on here and not that any one cares, but i don't think i have changed at all since my last post. I don't know if i am just looking at the world through a grey lens but i haven't felt myself in a long while. I cant help the way i feel but it just makes me feel like its my fault. i have no reason to feel this way yet these feeling have a way of sticking to me no matter how hard i try to feel happy. I heard some where that knowing your suffering and feeling like your suffering are completely different things because when u feel the pain its more tied to yourself as a person, when something is going south. But knowing that your suffering is seeing yourself hurting and yet you don't try to change it. Over the past few month i have given up on myself, i don't really hate myself i just don't have anything else to care about. i know this doesn't make much sense and i am probably gonna forget this by the morning. I just feel really lonely and wish i had some one i could talk to.