terramene

Most people take a gag as permission to be loud. Either because they take it as a challenge "try to silence me, I'll show you" or because they think it's going to muffle noise so they're free to be noisy. They'll be unintelligible of course but they will make all types of pretty noises.

Expectation is an incredibly powerful tool you can make use of. People like patterns, people like predictability, they like knowing what's going to happen. So make rules and follow them, make patterns and keep to them, be predictable and your sub will feel safe and comfortable with you, they will trust you more if they know what you're going to do and how you're going to react.

It shows that you're taking care to consider what is appropriate to wear and shows your reasoning, but it's also open ended enough as a question that your sub can still feel empowered to say "but what about <reason why that clothing choice might not be compatible in this instance>?" because even if you choose their clothing 100% of the time, there will always be that random occurrence where something completely out of your realm of knowledge as a dom affects what they can wear.

Having that wiggle room for your sub to give you feedback is really important for building a mental library of what your sub wears at what times (morning, daytime, for sleep) and in what settings (at home, at work, hanging out with friends, going out) during different conditions (hot/cold temps, weather, having their period, exercise, mental health, seasons) what they feel comfortable wearing, what materials and clothing they like or avoid, and when they think it's time to retire a piece of clothing.

Pay attention to those things, write down notes if you need to. With their consent you can also start deciding what gets bought for their wardrobe in the first place if you both would like that in your dynamic. And when you go to choose an outfit, makeup, and accessories consult these 5 points:

What does the weather look like?

What is on the schedule for when they wear it?

How are they feeling?

What do YOU want to see them wear?

Is it clean/available to wear?

Do you have any other parameters, either as D/s rules, individual preferences/tendencies as a couple, or submissive limits that would affect this choice? (Do you need to match metals/leathers, do you have a rule about no underwear worn in the house, do they like showing off jewelry you bought them, do they refuse to wear a certain cut of clothing because of how it looks on them, etc.)

If the weather is warm and clear skies, they have an open schedule, they're in a good mood, you want them to wear something sexy, and that doesn't clash with any other rules or limits for your sub then that's great! Just check if it's clean or available and set it out for them.

Don't wait for them to do it or ask later. Physically set the clothing/makeup/perfume/accessories aside yourself as much as you can. You're taking decisions away from them so they can enjoy themselves and feel relaxed and taken care of by submitting to you in this way. The best way to make them feel that is to physically set the items out for them.

You can also always do a stricter form of this kink later where the dom just decides everything and either doesn't need feedback because they choose so well, or you as a D/s couple enjoy the complete loss of aesthetic control the submissive gives the dominant. It just depends on your style/preferences and level of trust with each other.

But starting with "Wear <blank> because <reason why you think they should wear that clothing>, okay?" is so foundational to getting the most out of aesthetic kink as a dom or sub, especially if you're a beginner kinkster.

And beginner doms, your sub does want to be ruled over, that's true. But it's about the intention of how you rule over them and what you do with that control. Doing this regularly will help you practice that intentionality with aesthetic kink until you're freaking impeccable at choosing complete outfits for them.

Applying this lesson of intentionality in aesthetic kink to your dominance over other areas of their life is how you become the dominant of their dreams they brag to their kink friends about.

No kink will have the same process as another, but developing a thought process to how you exert control over your submissive for different kinks builds happy and healthy habits that turn you both on regularly. And then actively engaging with that thought process every time prevents things from going stale and keeps your sub feeling seen, cared for, and safe in the dynamic. Even for the more taboo, intense, and sadistic kinks.

once i'm ready, i start pulling my knot out again and you start to whine, but your legs keep sliding farther and farther apart for me and your pussy is pulsing pathetically around my cock. i keep pulling and pulling until i'm at the widest part again and your toes curl at the feeling as i tease you there again, holding your pussy as open as possible for me. you moan something incoherent that sounds like it could be, "please," but you're way past talking at this point. slowly, i pull the knot out of you, and despite the considerable girth of my cock, you find yourself almost feeling empty, like you're missing something. i watch your pussy twitch against my cock, squeezing itself again and again in a desperate attempt to feel the stretch again. i knead your ass cheeks in my hands and fuck you shallowly for a few more seconds, allowing your cock-drunk mind to start catching up with your pussy.

but one single pump isn't enough. i can't hold back any more. i grab ahold of your hips again for stability and start pounding my knot into your pussy mercilessly, making you squeal and clench even tighter around me in surprise. with each pump, there's a slight stutter, a moment of give as your pussy stretches out to its widest point. but i keep punching that fat knot into you, over and over and over again until your pussy is no longer too tight for a smooth ride. you haven't stopped moaning or blubbering, eyes rolled back and tongue hanging out like the braindead whore you are.

“look at me.”

“you don’t get quiet when something’s wrong. you use your words. i need to hear you.”

“does this feel good, sweetheart? tell me.”

“i won’t guess. you’ll guide me. that’s how this works.”

“may i touch you here?”

“if you hesitate, i stop. immediately.”

“i want your yes. not your silence.”

“say it clearly for me. green, yellow, or red.”

“good girl. that’s it. always tell me.”

“you trust me because i make it safe to.”

“i’m in control, but you are never powerless.”

“if it stops being good for you, it stops. no questions. no disappointment.”

“your comfort is not optional.”

“you’re mine to guide, not to harm.”

Shushing you when you say you’re doing just fine on your own but Dad wants to hold the shower head for you anyways!

Dad who takes over soaping you up because you “kept missing a spot” and grabbing your arm a little too tight “just hold still sweetie” “Let Daddy do it for you”

Until you’re whining cause Daddy’s hands are wandering down between your thighs and it tickes and feels funny when Daddy pushes a finger or two inside so you try and say you’re all clean but your Daddy just ignores you and keeps going until you’re whimpering and leaning against the shower wall and it isn’t until you’re shaky and breathless and that squirmy shaky thing happens that Daddy’s hands pull away

And suddenly you’re being bundled in a nice warm towel and patted dry and your heads spinning cause you’re still a little grumpy cause you wanted to be a big girl and do it alone but Daddy’s praising you and by the time you’re dry you just cuddle up with Dad and say