ninetynine bottles of bitch on the wall

Happy pride to the gays, the lesbians, the gender havers and non-havers, the a-specs, and that one guy living in my basement. I only see him out of the corner of my eye but I think he should get to come out too.

Gotta love getting a new foundation or concealer and immediately going for whichever shade is labeled "porcelain" or "white as hell" or "Jesus Christ my eyes" and then STILL sometimes having to mix it with white face paint in the winter to get the right shade match. 🥲👍

I love seeing everyone's designs of S1 Jon vs S5 Jon, they remind me of those PSAs where they're like "this is what 5 years on weed does to you"

Gertrude and Elias had a toxic divorce arc send post

If I'm driving on the highway minding my own business, and I see you in your Honda civic cresting over the horizon like the sun on a tundra, your lights are TOO DAMN BRIGHT. Why are you out here with the Teletubbies baby strapped to your headlights, coming out like the good morning scene from the lorax.

Do I dislike Hazbin Hotel (and frankly anything Vivziepop) because it is poorly written and the creator is questionable at best? Yes. BUT, does it still hurt my soul to see a canon aroace character get proverbially raked through a cheese grater to fit into ship culture? Ab-so-lutely. Official Tumblr has even played into it with their ship week at this point. Like that's how normalized aroace-erasure is.

Being semi active on both Tumblr and Instagram is whiplash. Cuz I'll be here scrolling through liking art and seeing chill interactions between Tumblr people. Only to make the mistake of moving to Instagram and be blasted by "EVERYONE IS BURNNNIIIINNNGG" "heres fifteen ai videos that you still despise" "does anyone know why Instagram sucks so badly now?" "AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE AMOUNT OF SLURS"

Working at a haunted house is the strangest format of "customer service", because a random mother with 3 toddlers will walk into your terrible awful homicide room and go: "this is NOT what I paid for, my children are terrified I want a refund! 😡" and you have to sit there covered in way too much fake blood. Figuring out how to politely (but still in character as a murder clown), tell this woman that there's like 15 signs out front saying it's a 16+ attraction and not for kids....

Thinking about how, back in the middle ages, people would leave a pile of rice or grains on their windowsill. So that if a creature broke in while you were sleeping they'd be forced to count the grains of rice, thereby giving you time to escape. And honestly that would work on me too. Leave out like a fuckin pile of little charms or beads of a bunch of different colors and I'm sitting on the floor sorting them instead of chasing you to get your skin. Easy peasy