Dammi Serenità

Meanwhile, rich people rely on government all the time. They lobby for policies that benefit them. They own patents to destroy competition and allow them to price gouge or plan obsolescence. They rely on police to protect their property so they don't have to hire their own private security. They use prison labor to save money on labor costs. They profit from wars.

I've been adopted by my coteacher's family, and since I have no family around where I live for the holidays, she invites me to her house. I go to birthday parties, soccer games, family events, the whole deal.

Her young son (he just turned 5) was swinging around a toy on a string in circles. She asked him quite a few times to stop because he was too close to people and it could hurt them, but he still continued to do so. While he was swinging it, it smacked her pretty hard in the leg, hard enough to leave a bruise later.

Right away, her husband ordered him to apologize, and with a rather less than sincere voice, he said "sorry."

She looked at him dead straight and said, "I don't accept your apology."

The kid was floored. He just stood there and didn't know what to do. Her husband asked her why she said that, and she said, "He's not sorry. He doesn't know what he did wrong or how to fix it. He just said it because you told him to. So, no, I don't accept his apology."

After a few seconds, she walked away. The kid just stood there, confused and not knowing what to do. So, we at the family dinner table, walked him through what happened.

"She asked you to stop so no one would get hurt, and you didn't listen. And now, someone got hurt."

"Do you think saying sorry made it stop hurting?"

"Do you feel bad about it?"

"What can we do to fix it?"

And he agreed he should stop swinging around the toy and went to a different room so no one would get hurt. No more forced apology. Just action.

Eventually, about an hour later, he offered a sincere apology to his mom and gave her a hug. Only then did she accept his apology and told him why. Not because he said he was sorry, but because he stopped once he realized what he was doing did hurt someone, and he went on to fix the problem.

So many parents force their kids to apologize, and she's told me time and time again it always makes her feel uncomfortable because usually the kid doesn't regret their actions or want to apologize. Parenting isn't always pretty words and being gentle. Sometimes you have to prepare them for real-life situations, and unconditionally accepting or being understanding of their actions isn't always the best way to go.

Not only is this teaching him how to genuinely apologize for his behavior and do better, but it also makes him realize words are just words until action is taken. That's the only way things get fixed.

Shouting at kids when they're naughty doesn't help.

Telling them to apologise without explaining why doesn't help.

This is the issue with taking a totally individualist perspective on the pandemic that blames conspiratorial individuals for not taking the right health measures. It completely ignores the whole role of the state which has deliberately prevented any kind of strict measures that would’ve saved lives because it would disrupt business too much and would empower workers and poor through aid. By placing all the focus and blame on anti-vaxxers we miss that we wouldn’t be in this position if the United States government cared more about global public health than its ability to profit while people en mass die. The anti-vaxxers play a role but it would’ve been a far more minor one if we didn’t have exclusionary patent laws that are allowing the virus to mutate in the regions of the world with the least access to vaccines (despite wanting them!) and if the state was unafraid of angering business by putting into place robust stay at home policies where we pay and deliver food to people to keep them at home.

Like, despite what parodies might say, Katniss is nowhere near the stereotypical “unqualified teenager chosen to lead a rebellion for no good reason”.  The entire point is that she’s not leading the rebellion. She’s a traumatized teenager who has emotional reactions to the horrors in her society, and is constantly being reined in by more experienced adults who have to tell her, “No, this is not how you fight the government, you are going to get people killed.” She’s not the upstart teenager showing the brainless adults what to do–she’s a teenager being manipulated by smarter and more experienced adults. She has no power in the rebellion except as a useful piece of propaganda, and the entire trilogy is her straining against that role. It’s much more realistic and far more nuanced than anyone who dismisses it as “stereotypical YA dystopian” gives it credit for.

And the misconceptions don’t end there. The Hunger Games has no “stereotypical YA love triangle”–yes, there are two potential love interests, but the romance is so not the point. There’s a war going on! Katniss has more important things to worry about than boys! The romance was never about her choosing between two hot boys–it’s about choosing between two diametrically opposed worldviews. Will she choose anger and war, or compassion and peace? Of course a trilogy filled with the horrors of war ends with her marriage to the peace-loving Peeta. Unlike some of the YA dystopian copycats, the romance here is part of the message, not just something to pacify readers who expect “hot love triangles” in their YA. 

The worldbuilding in the Hunger Games trilogy is simplistic and not realistic, but unlike some of her imitators, Collins does this because she has something to say, not because she’s cobbling together a grim and gritty dystopia that’s “similar to the Hunger Games”. The worldbuilding has an allegorical function, kept simple so we can see beyond it to what Collins is really saying–and it’s nothing so comforting as “we need to fight the evil people who are ruining society”. The Capitol’s not just the powerful, greedy bad guys–the Capitol is us, First World America, living in luxury while we ignore the problems of the rest of the world, and thinking of other nations largely in terms of what resources we can get from them. This simplistic world is a sparsely set stage that lets us explore the larger themes about exploitation and war and the horrors people will commit for the sake of their bread and circuses, meant to make us think deeper about what separates a hero from a villain.

“I’m tired of love triangles” THE HUNGER GAMES IS LITERALLY AN ALLEGORICAL FICTION REFLECTING ON THE MERITS OF JUST-WAR THEORY.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/10/18/books/suzanne-collins-talks-about-the-hunger-games-the-books-and-the-movies.amp.html

This is a FASCINATING article where Suzanne Collins talks about this. Basically, just war theory - popularized by Thomas Aquinas, and I didn’t know she was Catholic, so that makes a TON of sense how she would know about that, anyways, just-war theory advocates for this idea that a war can be just based on certain conditions being met. In the Hunger Games, Katniss is a stand in for humanity generally, a sort of neutral figure whose going through this moral/philosophical battle. Gale represents a favorable view of just-war theory, whereas Peeta represents - if not pacifism, then certainly at the very least, a rejection of war.

THATS WHY ITS SO FUCKING PROFOUND that Katniss ends up with Peeta, like, can we just collectively admire for a moment, the final passage of Mockingjay, now that we get that what’s actually going on is a statement re: cycles of violence and the needs of humanity?

“Peeta and I grow back together. There are still moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs on until the flashbacks are over. I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I knew this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.”

I MEAN. GOD. GOD. WHAT POETRY THAT IS. Humanity cannot rely on war, and hatred, and violence, it does not need it to live, it cannot feast forever on bread and circuses gained from blood. This passage nearly makes me cry every time I read it, it’s SO lovely.

Anyways, the Hunger Games rocks.

please remember us when talking about neurodiversity. ocd, dyslexia, dyscaculia, personality disorders, tourettes, intellectual disabilities, schizo-spec disorders, etc. all fall under neurodiversity.

please stop saying neurodivergent when you mean "autism and adhd."

To start off, some facts:

-White wine is made from sweet pulp inside of the grape (minus the seeds).

-Red wine is made from both the skin and the grape (and the seeds and stems…sometimes? Can’t remember).

-Tannin is the substance found in red wines, coffee, dark chocolate. Tannins are responsible for the bitter taste in those foods.

-Tannins are found in the skin of the grape, as well as the seeds and the stems. Therefore, most red wines will have tannins, versus most whites will not have tannins.

-Red wines vary in level of tannins, depending on variety of grape, climate, and fermentation process. Pinot noir tends to be very low tannin. Shiraz/Syrah, choice of poison for our beloved brunette surgeon, is very heavy on the tannins.

-Some white wines (most commonly Chardonnay) are aged in oak barrels instead of metal containers. Oak barrels have tannins, which seeps into the wine during the fermentation process. That’s why Chardonnays tend to be “drier” aka it has tannins.

-White wines like Sauvingnon Blancs are usually fermented in steel barrels (aka no tannins. Aka usually very fruity and light and sweet).

Your ability to taste tannins is genetic.

There is a genetic marker determining whether your taste cells are sensitive to tannins.

Basically two people can drink the exact same wine and have wildly different reactions because: 1. Person A can’t taste tannins, so they taste the actual wine flavor. 2. Person B can taste tannins, and that tends to overpower ALL the other flavors in the wine. Basically all they taste is tannins and none of the wine.

I am super tannin sensitive, so if I drink a wine like Cabernet Sauvignon (very tannin heavy, aka “very dry”, it tastes like bitter ethanol alcohol to me, whereas my best friend can’t taste tannins so the same wine is maybe a little bitter but they can actually taste the grape and different flavors. To her, a wine like Sauv Blanc is too sweet, tastes like sugar water. But to me it tastes good.

So unless it’s the taste of the alcohol or all wines you hate, chances are you might hate the taste of red wine, especially the heavier red wines, because taste the tannin overpowers everything else. And all you taste is bitter bitter ethanol bitter more ethanol. 

More tannin info: -Tannins bind to fat.

-This is why tannin heavy wines are recommended with fatty foods (Shiraz and steak). Whenever you eat food with high fat content, the fat builds up on your tongue. A sip of red wine will bind with the fat on your tongue and clear it away. That’s why the sip of wine between bites of fat heavy foods is considered a palate cleanser.

-By that logic, this is why white wines are recommended with low fat foods, like fish. Salmon is fattier than most fish, which is why Chardonnay (tannin heavy white wine) or Pinot Noir (low tannin red wine) is recommended with salmon.

-People who are sensitive to tannins can drink tannin heavy red wines with fatty food and generally the wine won’t taste gross. The fat on your tongue (from that steak) will bind with the tannin and neutralize the tannin taste. Aka the only time I ever drink Cabernet Sauvignon or Shiraz is with a steak or heavy, creamy pasta. Aka never bc I don’t often eat either.

-The reason dairy helps coffee taste better is because the fat in milk/creams binds with the tannins in coffee and neutralizes the bitter taste. This is why people who can’t taste tannins can generally drink coffee black without milk (sugar is a different story). It’s also why almond milk in coffee is the worst idea (almond milk is already bitter and has no fat).

More wine facts: -90% of the “aromas” of wine are marketing BS

-You know the labels that say like “cherry with a hint of blackberry?” There’s no real way to infuse cherry or blackberry into grape wine without screwing with the fermentation process. It’s all created by the wine marketing industry to sell you win. Sometimes if you smell cherry before you drink the wine, you might taste it in the wine (because majority of flavor comes from smell). Or if you think there is cherry flavor in the wine, your brain can trick your taste buds into tasting it.

-The only true flavors found in real grape wine are grapes (obviously), oak/earthy flavor (the barrels), vanilla (barrels, oak sticks), tannins. (There are a few others but can’t remember. I think maybe cinnamon?).

-People’s perception of wine often affect how good it tastes to them. Social psychology studies show that people will rate the exact same wine differently if they’re told the wines are different in price. (They rated the more expensive wine as tastier).