i am permanently preoccupied with your past

11:14 PM I’m thinking about him again. Is he thinking about me? 11:15 PM I thought I moved on but I keep going back. What the hell is wrong with me? 11:16 PM Sometimes I hate myself for being so stupid. Sometimes I wish we never met 11:17 PM Things got bad when he left and it’s his fault but maybe it’s my fault. I forgot to close the blinds 11:18 PM I’m not going to sleep tonight. My eyelids are heavy but my head is pounding 11:19 PM I have a cough and I keep thinking that I’m sick but what am I really? I might be going crazy 11:20 PM There’s better boys out there, stop letting one of the bad ones slip into your veins 11:21 PM I thought I was done with him but he’s always my last damned thought before I fall asleep 11:22 PM Now I’m falling asleep but I can’t really breathe. I still haven’t closed the blinds.

Go home. Put your best record on. Loud as it’ll play. And with every note, you remember: that’s something that the darkness couldn’t take from you.