Carolina and Harry lived in two different worlds. But somehow they were more alike than most people would bet on. That's the story of their journey, together they face all the drama and heartache and prejudice people throw at them. Up until they show that their love is the most important thing and that love is what really matters. That's a history of standing up for the person you love and fighting for what you believe in.
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The sort of pain that would irradiate from her body and made her wonder if anyone could see it, as its force was undeniably present.
She felt nothing but pain.
She could deal with the soreness on her body. It felt as if she had run a marathon.
She could also deal with the heavy cramps that she was feeling ever since she woke up. As if she needed any reminder of what had just happened. She hadnât asked for any medication to relieve her pain because she wanted to feel it. She wanted to be punished for what she had done.
What she couldnât deal with was the emotional pain that had destroyed her and its relentless waves that kept shaking every single thought that crossed her mind. The waves were like a tsunami that with its violence and fast approach took away and destroyed everything it touched and she was drowning. Completely and willingly.
The waves made her remember everything that had happened a few hours ago.
The waves brought an emotional pain that shattered her dreams and hopes and wishes. Mocking her, showing the failure she had been. This earth-shattering feeling turned her world, mind, life and body upside down. She didnât even have more tears to cry as they had dried somewhere in the middle of the night.
She was alone as she had wanted to be and surrounded only by sounds. Sound of the machine she was hooked to, sounds of the clock that showed her that time was going to pass whether or not she was ready for it, the sirens of the ambulances coming in and out of the emergency ward and the cries of a new baby that was born just down the corridor from her room. She longed to have had the chance to at least listen to her child cry. To have carried her pregnancy to term and to taste the happiness this new mom was probably feeling at the moment. And yet, here she was. Empty-handed, alone, bleeding and miserable.
She wanted to get up and run, possibly hide from everyone. Should she had the strength for it, she would have. But she could barely move a finger, let alone run.
She placed one hand on her belly. The same one she caressed the growing baby just the morning before, praying with all her might and force that everyone was lying to her. Wishing this all was a very bad joke, a tasteless prank. Everyone must be wrong.
But deep inside she knew it was true.
She knew that her body had been giving signs and she didnât pay attention to it. She worked and travelled as if she wasnât growing a tiny human inside her and now, funny enough, she really wasnât anymore.
Maybe it would be for the best? If she couldnât take proper care of a baby inside her, what would happen once the baby was born?
She would be better off alone and childless as she couldnât bear to be responsible for anyone elseâs death. She took a deep breath and felt every muscle hurt, her head was about to explode. She knew she couldn't speak as she had yelled until she scarred all of her vocal cords.
Her hands and arms were purple and swollen as she had tried to unhook herself from the blood transfer bag a nurse had hooked her to close to 2 in the morning. Her hair was in knots and her hospital gown was still bloodied.
Another proof of her failure and another brutal reminder that she had just lost her child.
She had lost her everything. She had lost her will to live because nothing else made sense anymore. Her unborn baby had become the centre of her life, her strength, her reason and her motivation.
Well, not really â her malicious mind reminded her, - if this baby was that important you wouldnât have let it die. You didnât even fight for it, you simply passed out and almost bled yourself to death.
Pathetic.
She would never know if the baby was a boy or a girl. She would never know if he or she would have her green eyes or Harryâs blue. If its complexion would be pale as Harry, chocolate as hers or a nice mix in the between. She didnât know if he or she would be ginger. Could she even have a ginger baby?
She wouldnât know its face. If it would have dimples, curly or straight hair. If itâd have the unmistakable Windsor genes or itâd be a Nogueira through and through. She wouldnât know how is it like to feel the baby moving inside her. She wouldnât know how labour would be or if sheâd chicken out from the pain and ask for a c-section straight away. She wouldnât know if sheâd be able to breastfeed â if sheâd like it or if sheâd prefer to buy formulas.
She wouldnât make her mum a grandmother.
And she wouldnât give her man a child. The child he was expecting and dreaming about. The child he had built plans for. The child he was searching for a house to transform into a home for them.
The child he was willing to give up his title for.
Everything she got now was pain and shame and guilt and grief.
Why was it happening to her? Was she that bad of a person that this would be some sort of payback?
What makes you so important that you canât go through something like this? Her evil-filled mind asked her.
She heard footsteps on the corridor and saw her door opening. Agnes was there, smiling. The pain she felt blinded her from seeing the truth in Agnesâ eyes. She was devastated. She knew that miscarriages were a common thing between women, but she hated every time it happened to one of her patients. With Carol, it seemed she had lost her grandchild such was the esteem she held for the brunette in front of her.
She took a tentative step towards the bed and Carol noticed it was way past nine in the morning. She had been awake the whole night.
âGood morning, Carolina.â Agnes asked, getting her file and reading the notes the other nurses had written. âHow are you physically feeling?â she worded her question carefully.
Carol didnât respond. She kept staring at the clock. Fixated on it. Hearing its tic, toc. It was comforting to know that time wouldnât wait for her to get her shit together. And time was the only thing that she wanted now.
She would give everything she had for a moment in time to stop before she lost her child. She would give everything to have more time with the baby that even though was unplanned wasnât not even by a single second unwanted.
She wanted to rewind time and do things differently and save her baby.
She always heard that mothers fight for their children and if need be, even give their lives for them. That was what Carol wanted to do. Be a mother to this child. Give her life in exchange for his or hers. She knew Harry would take good care of their baby even if she wasnât around.
âCarolina?â Agnes called her, firmer this time. Carol had shut her out and not even remembered that she was in the room. She didnât blink, she just stared at the damn clock and knew that it was laughing at her expense.
âI need you to please talk to me.â Agnes said, sitting by her side on the bed.
Carol didnât move. She couldnât, she was paralysed watching the clock.
âI know what you must be feeling...â Agnes said.
There it was. Pity and sympathy. Two things Carol didnât need at that moment.
âAnd I want you to know that I did everything that I could to save your baby.â the doctor said, grabbing one of Carolâs hands gently.
Did she really? Her brain asked.
âI want you to tell me what you want.â Agnes tried again and Carol almost laughed. She wanted her child. Alive and well. There was nothing anyone could possibly give her at the moment that would make her feel better.
âI will give you space, then.â Agnes sighed. âA nurse will come to help you take a shower and change clothes.â she got up and stared at the girl she treated like a daughter. She seemed like a shell of the woman she once was. Staring at the clock and shutting everyone out. Agnes gently left the room and took a deep breath. She could only hope that Carol would bounce back from this. If she kept giving herself into the pain for too long, she wouldnât make it.
(âŠ)
Harry had spent the night awake. He sat by the window of his living room with a bottle of scotch beside him. He stared at the entrance of his house for the whole night and saw when the sun rose. He had drunk half of the bottle by that time and was irritated that it didnât give him a buzz nor lessened the pain. He thought about compartmentalising it and go out and about on his day, as he had two engagements to be at but he knew he couldnât do it. He wanted to feel the pain and go through it while it all was still fresh. If he bottled up everything it was bound to come back exploding in the future. He also knew that Carol wouldnât forgive him if she saw that he was smiling for the cameras and hugging kids mere hours after theirs had died.
If she speaks to you again. His mind remembered.
He had been hurt by Carolâs outburst the night before. He tried to understand where she was coming from, but he didnât think that sheâd kick him out of the room that way. He had called the hospital and Agnes informed him Carol wasnât speaking to anyone, or eating. She had tried to rip off the IVs from her arms and hands in the middle of the night.
He took a deep breath and texted Edward to let him know that he wanted all his engagements of that damn week cancelled and rescheduled. He also wanted to reschedule all engagements that had children involved for the upcoming months as farther away as possible. He couldnât bear to be around children when his hadnât made it.
Agnes had talked to him after they left Carolâs room and she was confident that Carolâs case fell under the more frequently than expected, she didnât believe Carol had any sort of condition that would make things harder to have a child in the future. Miscarriage is something very common and sometimes it might be related to other complicating issues, but in other cases, it's simply nature being faithful to its course of only the strongest and most adaptable survives.
Edward replied asking lots of questions as to why those changes were needed and Harry simply ignored him. He wouldnât come back to work until he felt at least a little bit better.
If you feel better at any point.
He felt like a black cloud was above his head numbing his senses and at the same time swallowing him whole.
He got up and went to his room without really thinking or registering what he was doing. He took a shower, got dressed and dried the tears that kept coming every time he thought about what had happened. He had drunk the night before trying to erase from his mind the scene of the woman of his life bleeding and losing their child.
What if he had asked her to go to Kensington, where Gerard and Martha would have kept an eye on her? What if he hadnât offered to accompany his grandmother to the engagement, therefore, arriving earlier at her place? Why didnât she tell him anything about blood pressure problems and migraines?
He knew that âwhat ifsâ wouldnât bring him any closer to changing the outcome of the events. And decided he needed to keep himself busy. Getting his car keys and without letting anyone from his security team know, he drove outside Kensington Palace straight to Carolâs apartment. He let himself in and he dreaded entering her bedroom but he knew he had to get things done and if her reaction last night was any indicator, she wouldnât deal well if she saw all that blood.
He emailed her boss letting him know that she was in the hospital and that she would keep him posted. He grabbed all the sheets and duvet, almost ripping them off the mattress with rage and threw them inside the washing machine. He cleaned the floor, the furniture and searched inch by inch of the apartment for any spot of blood. When he found none, he made her bed with new sheets and packed her an overnight bag.
He then drove straight to the back entrance of St. Maryâs, getting out of the car and ignoring all the calls on his phone. Edward, Bill, his father⊠he didnât really want to talk to anyone right now.
He went straight to the private wing where half a floor had been cleared after Harry was made aware someone had just given birth a few doors down the corridor from Carolâs room. He immediately demanded they were transferred to another wing.
He knocked on her door and opened it to find only a shadow of the woman he once had met.
She had her hair wet, soft curls forming around her face. She was half-sitting on the hospital bed and she was staring at a fixed point on the wall above the door. Harry closed the door after coming in and left the bag on the chair by the bed.
âHey...â he said approaching her. She didnât even move or acknowledge his presence. âI brought you a change of clothes and a few personal items. I emailed your boss saying that youâre at the hospital and that we will keep him posted.â
He waited for a reply but didnât receive one. He tried to caress her head but she dodged his hand. Just another pain to feel. He saw she didnât touch breakfast and that it was laying on the table across from them.
âDo you want any help to eat?â Harry tried again, looking at her. She didnât look or talk to him. He noticed that she was staring at a clock and one could cut the tension inside that room with a knife.
âCarol, pleaseâŠ. Talk to me. We need to communicate to be able to grieve properly.â Harry said, sitting on the bed. âI havenât slept the other night and for what I heard, neither have you.â
Tic, toc. Tic, toc. Tic, toc.
Only the sound of the clock could be heard there.
âCarol? I know what youâre feeling, but please, let me know what I can do to help.â
âNothing.â her voice was cracked and hoarse and only above a whisper. But that was progress.
âI know I canât bring our child back...â he started.
âAll I want is time to go back.â She replied, looking at the clock and Harry was starting to feel irritated by that damn thing.
âIâm sorry about what happened.â Harry said, trying to grab her hand but she fiercely snatched it out from his hold.
âDonât touch me. Why is everyone touching me now? Why is everyone bothering me with empty words of sympathy and promises when no one knows what really happened and no one can fucking give me time.â She said and he struggled to hear her well and understand what she was saying.
Both Agnes and him had stayed just outside Carolâs door for more than an hour listening to her screams, almost entering the room again every now and then to try and calm her but deciding against it.
âAt least youâre talking now.â Harry said, looking at her. She looked frail and broken. Just like he was.
âI told you to get out. Just leave me the fuck alone.â She finally looked at him and he saw so much pain and hatred in her gaze that his heart broke into a million pieces yet again.
âIf thatâs what you want.â he got up and opened the door. âI will be back tomorrow.â he said leaving the room.
âDonât botherâ she replied not sure if he heard her.
He did.
(âŠ)
Once inside his car, he thought about going back home to try and sleep a bit but his heart wanted him elsewhere. He wanted to grieve with Carol. He wanted her support to go through this and he wanted to support her as well.
He knew that she had taken the heavier blow on this, as she was the one carrying the baby, but she should also know that he was hurt. He was scared of losing both of them. If she was up to it, theyâd start trying to have another child as soon as possible. And he knew that any child he could have with her or anyone else would never replace the one they lost.
His life had gained so much more meaning and purpose when he knew he had to be a role model for someone. That heâd get to parent his child and make him or her the best version of him and Carol together.
He just kept driving and trying to calm his shattered heart. He didnât know where he was going or how he was driving. He turned off his phone. He didnât want to see anybody. He didnât want to talk to anybody. He just wanted his child alive and well.
He was startled when he recognised the black iron gates of the property. He had driven for an hour and a half without noticing where he was headed but it somehow made sense. He knew who he needed the most at the moment and unfortunately, she also wasnât around to embrace him and promise that everything would be OK.
The guards promptly opened the gates and greeted him. For the first time, he didnât reply and simply kept driving until he reached the stables on the background of the imposing Estate. He killed the engine and got off his car and walked the long gravel path until he approached the lake.
It was a sunny day and he put his shades on. He walked and was taken by emotion when he was right in front of it. He opened the shed, took out the small boat and pushed it until it was on the water, getting in and rowing his way to the island in the middle of the oval lake. He got out of the boat and when on land, his knees almost gave away and with trembling lips and heavy tears he approached the centre of the island where he could see, engraved in marble, the words âLoving motherâ.
âMummy,â Harry said, kneeling before her grave. âIâve failed mummy. I couldnât protect the people that I love and now Iâve lost them.â
He cried. Each tear made his body tremble and his lips quiver. He out-poured all the emotions held inside feeling safe to do so in that place. Feeling safe that his heart had unconsciously brought him where his mum was eternally resting.
âHow do I make this pain go again, Mummy?â he cleaned his face with his palm. âIt hurts so fucking much. Iâve lost my child. Your grandchild. And I think Iâve lost my girl too.â
The peaceful scenery only made it worse to balance the turmoil inside Harryâs heart and mind.
âI need you here with me.â he whispered. âBut youâve also been taken away from me too soon. Why?â
He cried his tears and his sobs were cutting through his body and shaking it. He thought he would never be able to recover from this. Never. He was a different man and now he had nothing. Absolutely nothing.
âI donât think I can get through this.â Harry said, looking at Dianaâs grave and embracing his bent knees.
He stayed there the whole afternoon. If his uncle and cousins knew that he was there, thankfully no one approached the oval island. He cried and opened his heart to his mother, knowing that sheâd listen to him. Knowing that sheâd be taking care of him.
When the sun began to set he knew it was time to come back.
âMummy, could you please take care of my baby with you in heaven? I donât know if its a boy or a girl but I donât care. Please tell him or her that we love him so much it hurts and we wish things couldâve been different. I donât know how his mother and I will survive this searing pain.â
Harry cleaned the tears again and spoke just above a whisper.
âWe did our very best but unfortunately that wasnât Godâs wish for us. Please cuddle our child in your arms the way you did with me and Wills. Love on him as you did on us. Both of you are greatly missed. And I love you both with all my being. I know that my baby is now with his grandmother and nothing bad can happen if heâs under your watch. I love you, mummy. And I love you, baby.â
I thank you for supporting me with this story ever since the beginning! It really means a lot.
Before we get to the new chapter which I assume you're eager to read, lest's cover some things first, shall we?
- The story will start immediately after Carol's miscarriage in chapter 50 part I. If you haven't read that, I advise you do to so.
- Whilst part I covered the path until they became a couple, Carol's background, family and love life, part II will focus on their path to remain a couple (if they'll get to that).
- I tried to bring as many emotions and feelings as possible. This will likely mean longer chapters.
- We will see more Interaction with other members of the Royal family.
- I will always try to keep Carol as your next door girl who's living a dream life (not her dream life 100% of the time, mind you) most of the time. We all know she'd prefer if Harry wasn't a prince.
- Will they be able to fight all odds? Will the pressure of the court, protocols and the Firm break them apart? Will the members of Harry's family that won't like her be strong enough to build a case against her? How will she deal with the press?
Lots of questions to be answered and there might be one or two of you who are curious about them, aren't there?
Carolina and Harry lived in two different worlds. But somehow they were more alike than most people would bet on. That's the story of their journey, together they face all the drama and heartache and prejudice people throw at them. Up until they show that their love is the most important thing and that love is what really matters. That's a history of standing up for the person you love and fighting for what you believe in.
AUTHOR NOTE: This chapter was based on the song by Anahi called "The puedo escucharâ that means âI can hear youâ.
This chapter might also contain some subjects that might be a trigger for some.
---
To say that Carol's humour was getting better and better by each passing day was the understatement of the year. As the second trimester was looming just a few days away, Harry was getting his girlfriend back.
And actually enjoying her pregnancy.
The love they felt for their unborn child was the strongest experience both had felt in their lives and they knew that they were a team from now on and compromised to be the best possible parents they could be.
They were conversing a lot about their dreams for their child. Harry wanted a girl desperately and Carol felt it was a boy... and they decided to find out when the baby was born.
They were talking about names and Carol was set to name him Henry (should it be a boy) and Harry wanted to name her Carolina (should it be a girl). Carol had gone shopping for maternity clothing as her bump was now impeding all her trousers to close and her breasts were getting bigger. She thought about buying some baby clothing as well, but she had promised Harry that they'd do the first shopping together (at least for the first items and the most important things).
As marriage wasn't on their foreseeable future, this baby wouldn't have a place in the line of succession.
And after many conversations, they decided it'd be better to keep it this way. Of course, they knew that most ghastly people would call their child a bastard but if it meant that no strings would be attached to this kid's future, they'd be game. Even if (and that's a big if) they decided to get married before the birth, the child wouldn't have any royal titles.
Harry had already asked his Grandmother for a private appointment in two weeks and decided to go by himself. The plan was: tell the Queen privately, then his father and then his brother. He knew that afterwards the Queen would request a private meeting with Carol before she let the courtiers know.
They had their speech known by heart and decided what was non-negotiable for them and what they'd be willing to accept should The Crown request. And Harry was counting on his grandmother managing skills to be sensible and understanding and not imposing things that'd make their lives really complicated. They'd show up as a united front and both against the protocols and rules of Harry's family.
Harry was asking Carol to take it slow at work... she was still practically living at the office â as always - and he understood why but now she had a whole team to manage, whose job was to back her up so she needn't to stay there more than eight hours a day.
She didn't really pay attention to his pleas... thinking that he wasn't used to working mums... lots of women did it every day and she wasn't really doing things that'd put their baby at risk. In order to avoid a fight, she'd always give evasive responses to him.
Except today she wasn't feeling well ever since she woke up at Kensington Palace where she had spent the night before. They had gone out to have dinner â thankfully still not spotted â and had amazing sex afterwards. She woke up feeling extremely tired and with a terrible headache. Dismissing it as some of the not-so-nice symptoms, she got ready for the day and left before Harry woke up, Bill driving her to work.
She texted Agnes asking what she could take for the headache and got a quick response of:
A: Headache again? That's the third time this week. I am changing your appointment to tomorrow morning just in case.
Not wanting Harry to get worried, she just texted him the new date and time for next appointment without giving him many details as to why they were anticipating it. She took lots of water and worked at a dimmed office until noon. She tried to remember how she had spent the week before and couldn't remember a day where she didn't feel like she had been run over by a truck or in ache.
She finally saw Harry's point as to why she should start working regular hours instead of the 14-16 she was usually working. Giving up on working at the office and taking into consideration it was Friday, she just let her boss and team know she would be working from home and would be back next Monday.
She took a cab not wanting to bother Bill to come and get her and let Harry know that she was going home and that he should stop by in the evening so they could be together. He was at an engagement and took a while to reply and when he did, was something like: "Will be there. x"
She arrived at home just past 1:00 pm and took another long shower. She applied lotion on her body and took a picture to register how her bump was showing today. She picked her favourite pyjamas of white shirt and shorts from the dryer and got dressed. Quickly fixing something to eat afterwards.
After she ate, she went to her bedroom and sat half leaning on bed board with her laptop on searching for a last-minute flight ticket to Brazil that wouldn't cost her a fortune. She couldn't tell her mother she was pregnant by the phone or video call. Although she knew Maria would be disappointed, she wanted to look into her mother's eyes and say it.
Perhaps, after the initial shock diminished, she'd be able to ask her mom for advice and they'd book Maria's tickets to come and stay with Carol (wherever she'd be living at the time) at the end of pregnancy and first weeks with the baby. She couldn't do it without her mother and she wouldn't.
Caressing her bump, while waiting for emails to come in so she could finalise a few reports and reschedule meetings, she was also reading pregnancy forums about when she could expect to feel the baby move for the first time. She was 11 weeks and 6 days today and was wondering how long it'd take until she could feel the first movements.
She didn't know when and how she fell asleep, she only slightly remembered that her migraine had gotten the best of her. She half woke up with Harry's voice calling her and the noise of his keys locking the door.
She tried to get up and greet him, but she couldn't. She tried to move and her brain only registered pain and still, she didn't have the strength to call for him or wonder why she was feeling this way. It was like her consciousness was coming and going all the time and she couldn't quite grasp the sense of fear. She only wanted to close her eyes and sleep some more.
"Darling?" he called cheerily and she was so very sleepy still that she didn't respond. She had this uneasy feeling on her bump and her eyelids were too heavy to keep open.
She heard when he entered her bedroom and felt his perfume. She smiled at the sound of his teasing.
"Now that's a good life... napping since mid-afternoon." he said, supporting his fists on either side of her body and kissing her temple. "Are you hungry?"
"A little..." she mumbled, her voice weak. Harry took off his jacket and tie and started telling her how the engagements of the day had gone and noticed that she was extremely quiet and sort of unresponsive.
"Carol?" he called for her, sitting by her side on the bed. She didn't reply.
Thinking it was odd, he called her again with no response. He almost left the room assuming she was just tired and needed to sleep a few more hours and determined to get their dinner ordered, he got up and he was taken by a feeling of warning and stopped in the middle of the room.
TRIGGER WARNING:
Dreading it, he turned on the light and the scene before his eyes hurt more than a punch in the gut. He felt all air vanishing from his lungs, the walls closing in, his heart breaking into a million pieces and for a few seconds, he didn't know what to do. He just couldn't afford to not do anything.
He realised Carol wasn't sleeping, she had probably passed out.
Her laptop was still on the bed and she was laying on a fetal position. He approached her, checking her pulse. Her blood pressure was obviously low as she was pale and unresponsive, but what had Harry scared for life was the giant vivid red spot on her white shorts and on the duvet. She had some dried stains on her legs as well.
"No, no, no, no..." he was on the brink of losing it but he had to something. "Carol, wake up. Please, Carol. Wake up." He was gently shaking her and caressing her face.
A little blood is normal, isn't it?
That's not a little, his mind replied.
"Carol... Carol... CAROL!" he yelled, his eyes burning with unshed tears. "Wake up, Carolina!"
He got his phone calling Agnes right away, not knowing what to do.
"Hello, Harry..." Agnes said, immediately thinking he was calling to ask why she had scheduled an appointment on a Saturday.
"Agnes, Carol's bleeding. Like... a lot." he said, making sure her body was turned on her left side, should she puke. "I just got here, Agnes and I don't know what to do. I think she fainted and she's not waking up."
"Get her to St Mary's. NOW!" Agnes said. She was about to leave for the day and went back into her office and changed clothes, already shouting orders and forming a team of nurses to prepare secured a room as an emergency was coming in. She promptly got Carol's file and read it all again, everything was as normal as it should be, except for the excessive tiredness and the headaches.
Without needing to be told twice, Harry got Carol's wallet and checked for her ID and health insurance details. He got her phone and grabbed a coat for her to use later. He was trying to convince himself that this was just a scare and that they'd be back home later.
He called for Bill who was waiting for him outside the flat and as carefully as he could he lifted her from the bed, getting himself stained as well, but he didn't care. He needed to save his girl and their child. Running with her through the steps as it'd be faster than the lift, Bill widened his eyes when he saw Harry leaving the building with Carol.
"St Mary's!" Harry yelled placing Carol on the back seat and jumping on the front seat. Bill had the car in motion before Harry even closed the door. Now worried as to why Carol was bleeding, but knowing this was not the right time to ask anything.
Normally it'd take 11 minutes from Carol's to St. Mary's, which Bill drove in almost 5, breaking an endless number of traffic laws. He parked at the back entrance and Harry was out in a flash, scooping Carol on his arms and trying to wake her up again whilst climbing the stairs of the Maternity wing.
He heard Agnes before he saw her, she was pacing the reception and she pointed to a room closing the door behind them. Harry put Carol on the bed and was out of the way when Agnes started to carefully and quickly examine Carol's condition.
There were three nurses in the room that were doing things at full speed by Agnes' orders. He saw how quickly they'd had hooked an IV of fluids on her hand and meanwhile the other was preparing the meds.
Harry was half relieved that she hadn't asked him to get out â everyone knew he'd be spotted and they shouldn't have added stress on this situation. At the same time, he felt so powerless watching other people taking care of the woman he loved without him being able to do anything else but stay away and let them work. He stayed on the corner of the room, and let them know many times that if they needed help, he was there to see to it.
Agnes then started the ultrasound machine, cleaning as best as she could all the blood to see the baby. She positioned Carol's legs and got the trans-vaginal stick and the now-familiar for him black screen appeared over her head. Harry was watching closely, hoping and praying for the best. He knew that the circumstances weren't favourable, but they were strong. They'd get past this and this would be just a scare.
He was looking at the screen with everything in him asking for his baby to be OK. There was the embryo and he saw Agnes pressing lots of buttons and her face getting more and more concerned by the minute. She re-positioned the stick and tried again, asking something from one of the nurses.
"Is everything alright?" Harry asked. "I can see the embryo. Is it alright?" he had hope in his eyes, he knew it was going to be ok.
"I'm sorry, Harry." Agnes said. "There's no longer a heartbeat."
"You left without notice / I looked for you and you weren't there anymore"
The room went silent for a minute that felt like an eternity.
"Are you sure?" Harry said looking from Carol to Agnes and the screen. "Have you looked closely? You always say sometimes it's difficult to catch a heartbeat."
"Fate wanted it that way / But your soul won't leave"
"At the beginning, yes. But she was almost on her twelfth week. This should be easy to catch."
"It can't be, Agnes. We had an appointment tomorrow. You said everything was fine. Why isn't she waking up?" Harry was clearly nervous and had a million thoughts crossing his mind.
Agnes powered off the ultrasound, scribbled something on a paper and asked the nurses to do something and went to Harry.
"I was seeing the embryo... How come?" Harry asked.
"Unfortunately that is not the embryo. That's some residual tissue of the pregnancy." Agnes took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Harry. But Carol has miscarried the baby."
"You were my accomplice in dreams / We knew that one day / United we would fly"
Harry's world went completely still. This couldn't be happening right now.
The tears started to fall before he could hold them in. He looked at Carol, still pale, hooked to IV and with nurses around her and that unmistakable stain on his shirt, arms, trousers told him that this was really happening.
He couldn't keep his family safe.
He had failed them and this pain was shattering his whole being. He had just lost his child and he didn't know what to do about it. He never properly learned how to mourn and grieve.
Losing his mum and grandpa had been fucking hard and horrible but nothing would ever be compared to the searing pain of losing a child.
"I know your wings will stay with me / That from Heaven your hug is my shelter / divine angel take care of me from evil"
His child, his baby.
The one he had made plans for. The one he wanted to hold on his arms and teach things.
The one that had turned his world upside down.
Gone.
He no longer would be a father.
"I know I walk with your company / With your voice my days are brightened / Although your door today is beyond / I can hear you"
The sound of his sob took over the room and Agnes hugged him. He cried and sobbed not caring for a single moment of who was there. Not caring that he was a prince and member of the Royal Family. Not caring he had been taught to always hide his feeling. At that moment he was just a father who had lost his child.
"I'm sorry, Harry." Agnes said, trying her best to support him as she knew that not many people were aware of the pregnancy and that they probably wouldn't have a shoulder to cry on.
"Why?"
"I can't answer that now, but I will ask for some exams to be made and try to correlate with the symptoms she was complaining about, but you should know that this is more common than you think. Most of the time we don't have any factor showing us as to why. Sometimes its just nature taking its course."
He was out of the embrace and thanked Agnes, without really knowing what or why he was thanking her for.
"I will have to intervene with medication so we can finish this process as quickly and respectfully as we can. Also so we can guarantee that we won't have any damage to her uterus and that pain will be minimal."
"Why hasn't she woken up?" he asked, voice filled with sadness.
"I remember you very close to me / Sharing your peace / So much joy it was to see you / I won't forget to love you / I still have tears"
"She probably had a case of irregular blood pressure variation during the day. Apparently it went too high and too low in a matter of hours â so her body, to try and estabilize it, kind of shut down. Now I've just given her something to keep her asleep, so we can finish the process."
Agnes gave a gentle squeeze on Harry's hand and apologising went back to work.
He sat on a chair and watched, letting the numbness of the pain take over him. Tears were flowing freely and he didn't want to leave her side for a second. If Carol would have to endure all of this, he might as well be by her side and watch. He didn't care about the fact that he was torturing himself to sit back and watch the woman he loved in that situation. But he didn't want her to wake up alone at a hospital without knowing their child had died.
"Your name is written in every book / In each verse I feel you sing / Your hand takes me directly to your shadow / And I know that one night I will find you"
(...)
"Harry?" Carol's voice was hoarse and weak.
He jumped out of the sofa he was laying on her private suite and went to her side. He held her hands.
"I'm here, my love." he said, kissing her temple and breathing relieved for the first time after they had been admitted to the hospital.
"Where am I?" she asked looking around and focusing on his eyes. She saw nothing but pain and fear there and those feelings took over.
"We're in the hospital, darling." He replied, sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Hospital, why?" she asked. "What's going on, Harry?"
"What do you remember?"
"I was home working and with a migraine and then everything went black. I remember some flashes of pain and your voice..." Carol looked at him. "Harry, please, tell me what's wrong. Is our baby ok?"
He took a deep breath and couldn't find the words in him to answer that question. From now on he'd need to be her rock and her safe place and he knew it, but his heart was broken and he was about to break hers. New tears formed on his eyes and he shook his head.
"NO, NO, NO, NO...." she was scared and shocked. "WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR BABY. PLEASE THIS ISN'T FUNNY."
"Darling..." Harry hugged her. "I'm sorry, my love."
"Sorry about what, Henry?" she untangled herself from his embrace. "What happened with our baby? Why are you making this up?"
"Carol..." Harry said crying. "Our baby passed away this evening. We had a miscarriage."
"Nooooooooooooooooo" Carol's cries and shriek brought a cold feeling to Harry's gut. "YOU'RE LYING. IT. CAN'T. BE."
She put her hand on her belly, feeling it way different than this morning, looking the to the IV hooked on her hand, her hospital gown.
"Maybe they're wrong. I am still pregnant. I know it, Harry. Stop making this prank... it's not fun." Carol said and Harry shook his head again, showing her that this wasn't a nightmare. This was the cruel reality and he wouldn't dare to joke on something like this.
"Why?" she was full-on sobbing whilst the truth and the weight of his words were slowly cutting through her heart and mind and body. She was sore, the damn headache still in place. Her stomach had somewhat deflated and she was determined to not believe in his words.
"We don't know for sure, but it happened. I arrived at your place and you were passed out." Harry said, trying to touch her hand.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed and her sobs now louder and she was trashing on the bed to get as far from his as possible. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, HARRY. HOW DARE YOU TO TELL ME MY BABY HAS DIED!!"
Agnes entered the room at that moment, having heard Carol's voice three corridors down and knowing this wouldn't be easy.
"Carol, please try to calm down. You're still weak and need your rest."
The doctor checked her signals on the machine nearby and approached the bed, caressing Carol's head and kissing the top of it.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. But we did everything in our power to save your baby, but we couldn't. If Harry hadn't brought you here as soon as he did, you'd have left us as well."
"You're both lying... my baby is fine and healthy."
Carol said trying desperately to hold on on that thread of hope. She couldn't have her biggest dream and world come tumbling down like this. They must be lying about it, making this sick prank about her.
"Darling, I'm really sorry...." Harry tried to hold her hand, but she didn't let him, which saddened him even more. "Our baby is now our guardian angel."
She started trembling, lips quivering and looking at both of them and their tired faces. She looked up to see a clock on the wall and registered the time of when the worst news to any parents had been delivered to her.
Her dream baby had slipped through her fingers, she no longer was a mother and she clearly shouldn't keep her hopes up about trying again because she knew she'd fail. Her body clearly wasn't up for the challenge of growing a human from scratch and she had crushed Harry's dream and Harry's life. Her heart knew that something was wrong but she dismissed it for the past days. It was her fault that she had lost that baby and she'd never forgive herself for it.
"Leave me alone." she said, between sobs.
Harry and Agnes shared a confused look and didn't move.
"LEAVE ME ALONE." she screamed, throwing one of the pillows at them and kept screaming after that.
Carol was heartbroken and clearly grieving, shocked, guilty and confused. Lot's of pieces haven't made it to its place in the puzzle and she was clearly shutting down and wanting to be alone.
And at that moment, Carol was everything Harry wanted and needed, but to respect her wishes and lest Agnes needed to give her some sedatives, he simply nodded and left the room.
"I will be back in the morning." Harry said crying and holding the door. "We will get through this Carol. Please don't shut me out cause I won't survive this pain if you do. Neither will you."
Carol looked at him while angry tears rolled down her cheeks and wet her hospital gown.
"GET OUT!"
"I love you." Harry said, leaving the room and closing the door.
End of Part I
Author Note:
Please, don't kill me because of this chapter. This and the next ones were the hardest I've ever wrote. I cried my eyes out doing that, but it was... necessary.
To my dear and beloved readers my warmest thank you for sticking with me, for liking my babies as much as I do. Thank you for reading, commenting, voting and for all the suggestions that are always welcomed.
My biggest concern on this story is, even though I sometimes use a poetic license, bring as many real places, people, assets and elements. I want this to be a story you, the reader, can identify yourself with and recognise the royal family's modus operandi.
I want this to be a relatable story, one that you read and say: mmm... this could've happened and not one of 100% make-believe stories that although entertaining, don't make you relate to that.
That's why I take too long to write and why I sometimes have serious cases of writer's block. I do my research, I watch tons of videos and documentaries, I see lots of photos (and even blueprints of the palaces sometimes!). When I went to London last year I visited many of the places that I write about here.
The work is though, but the reward is great.
This story will be split into three parts (I might change this in the future, and if so I'll let you know."
Part I tells us how they met, became friends, how the spark appeared and how they started dating.
Parti II will be posted continually after this chapter (I'll probably do an intro and then skip to chapter I). We'll see all the mourning process, self awareness, priorities and overcome. They are pretty strong, but will they be able to survive this pain?
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Harry hadnât anticipated that his girlfriend pregnancy would be hard for him as well. He didnât want to use this card as he knew that a million thoughts were crossing Carolâs mind, and she might or might not have had the time to go over them and come to terms herself of this big life changing moment of their lives due to her completely packed work schedule... and she was the one growing a tiny human from scratch. It was her body handling all the changes that came with it.
He had made a promise that heâd do everything he possibly could to make everything as comfortable as possible for her. She wouldnât be in need of anything on his watch; he made sure to keep her refrigerator full of healthy food and lots of snacks that she could pack and take to the office with her â sometimes going to the store himself -, he had asked one of his drivers to be alert to any calls or texts from Carol, as he was now on duty to use Harryâs private car to take her to and from work. She was getting nauseous when using the tube and he promptly suggested this new arrangement â which surprisingly, she had accepted without a fight.
He also made sure he was present on her daily life. Calling every day that they were apart and stopping by her place every other day. Sometimes sheâd ask him to stay and sometimes she didnât. Harry didnât mind all the work to keep the ball rolling on his duty and job and to take care of his girlfriend and baby, nothing was as hard as to deal with Carol nowadays.
She was picking fights on the silliest stuff and that was driving him completely bonkers. He didnât seem to win no matter what he tried and that besides being frustrating as fuck, also was tiring and annoying. He had to remember that she wasnât like this all the time nor she would be after the baby was out, but the Prince was seriously considering that this baby would be their one and only child.
For the time being, he had nothing to do but get used to Carolâs mood swings by each passing day. Every day was a surprise where he didnât know which Carol heâd get. The sweet one, the teary-eyed one, the bitch one or the wicked witch of the west one. He couldnât deny that sometimes it was difficult as fuck to keep up with her snappy and bitchy attitude for no reason whatsoever.
The cycle seemed to be: sheâd bitch him and then start crying because she didnât really mean it. Or whenever he did something good for her (God forbid he sent flowers to her office just because!), sheâd say that he was way too overbearing and fussy.
âWomen get pregnant every day and everywhere in the world without your suffocating habits and they end up just fine without your overwhelming concern and need to keep me under your watch all the time.â she had said once.
Just to start crying right after and say that lots of women also yearned for their partnerâs support and most didnât have it at all during the pregnancy. And that he was just by her side, by choice, taking care of them. Loving and cherishing them, regardless of this being an unplanned pregnancy and that she was a heartless and mean bitch while he had all the best intentions on his heart.
Needless to say the couple were arguing more now than ever and most of the time Harry would take the blame or excuse himself out of the room to take a deep breath and to remember that his Carol wasnât like this.
It also felt very weird to argue with an overly emotional pregnant lady.
He tried to remember that this was just a very hormonal version of the woman he loved. Also a test to see if what he felt for her would come out stronger after this trying time. Itâs easy to love someone when everything is fine, but true love is proved when the wind is blowing hard and you have not choice but hold onto each other to make sure you (and her) are safe.
He knew that she was stressed with her Masters degree, still keeping top grades whilst having a full time job and working a scary amount of hours every week (which he had already asked her to take it a little bit slow) and also travelling with her project.
He did want her to take a break and take it easy. If it was up to him, Carol would spend her days resting and sleeping to her heartâs content â as she always complained about how sleepy and tired she felt â but wouldnât dare to even think about suggesting about quitting her job. Sheâd throw a massive fit and say that she would keep earning her own money as she didnât need or want his thank you very much.
Some days, and those were rare, Harry was lucky enough to get glimpses of his girlfriend â and thatâs what helped to take a relieved breath: knowing somewhere deep down that ugly surface was his sweet and loving girlfriend.
She usually would ask for very weird combinations of food â which heâd always go fetch for her; and have an insatiable sex drive â that heâd be more than happy oblige; and apologize non-stop for being a bitch on steroids to him.
He would forgive her â of course, as there wasnât anything to really forgive her for - and they would get to chat and try to plan their future as her bump would only grow from now on and they needed to strengthen their relationship and become a real team to face, first and foremost, their parents and then the Institution Harry belonged to.
âWhat do you want to do?â Harry asked in one of the few blissful nights where they hadnât argued over meaningless things. They were relaxing on his bed, after an afternoon full of amazing sex that left both of them exhausted. He was lying on his back and had his hands leisurely caressing her thighs.
âObviously I want you around and to keep the baby.â she was eating ice cream straight from the box. âThe big question is: what can we do?â
âWell⊠I donât even know what our options really are. Everything I think I know is just wishful thinking. We would need to face a meeting with the Firm and its minions to know for sure. I know that my father and grandmother will demand a wedding.â he side-looked at her, half expecting to have a flying spoon over his head.
âI really donât want to get married on these circumstances.â she replied and he waited for her to finish. âI do want to get married someday but not just because you knocked me up. Itâs the 21st century after all.â
âAlthough I am part of and represent an Institution that is stuck ten centuries behind. But never mind.â
They both laughed at that.
âI will ask permission for you to move in with me. Donât think gran will oppose much to that as Kate and Will did it. Before you start your feminist rant...â he laughingly cut her speech, knowing that sheâd come up with something to refute. âI know that you love your flat and that it is comfortable enough for the two of you and that you can pay all the bills with money to spare but...â he pecked her lips, to distract her â lest she started to yell at him after a perfect day - and stole some of her vanilla ice cream, making sure to avoid the weird toppings she added in there. âItâs not safe. For any of us. And if we would try and make it safe, itâd cost way more than renting a moving truck and a storage unit for your things as obviously we donât need new furniture here, except for baby things.â
He could actually hear her mind running wild with thoughts and ways to refuse his offer.
âAt Kensington we already have the privacy, the security system, bullet-proof windows, armored cars and 24/7 people on call whenever he or she starts screaming in the middle of the night and we need a rest.â
She smacked his shoulder playfully.
âButâŠâ he continued. âIf Gran says we canât stay here, then I would gladly buy us a house. And pay for the security system and features.â
âYouâre insane.â she stated.
âWhy you say that?â he was confused.
âBuying a house just for this...â
ââThisâ Carolinaâ - he pointed his finger between them to emphasize his point - âis my family and I very much intend to be close by even though you seem to not stand to look at me for more than a few seconds these days. You would help me choose somewhere suitable for us, that has everything we need, and then we would move in together and not marry right away as it seems to be your desire.â
âWhy do I sense there are other options that youâre hiding from me?â
âWell⊠The options of what we will be advised to do are endless. If we start playing âwhat ifsâ and imagining scenarios that might be presented to us, weâd be here all night. There are, though, some options that stand out from these possibilities⊠For example: I might have to renounce my title.â
She had a shocked expression on her face.
âSays that Pa and Gran demand a wedding and we say that we donât want to marry under pressure. We might be denied the request of you moving in. So then Iâd need to move out and with that â no wedding, kicked out â the press will have a field day, change the publicâs view on me and as Iâd just be the prince who tarnished the name of the family, again mind youâŠâ he laughed and continued. âThank heavens Will and Kate have already two children to claim the throne and out goes Harry.â he joked.
âIâm sorry.â she said, already drying the tears after what he said.
He talked about it as if it was a joke but being part of royalty were what made Harry who he was. Give up on it because of her wishes was a very hard thing to do. She considered in that moment if she shouldnât let go of her stubbornness and just get married so heâd get to keep everything that was rightfully his.
âIn that scenario our child wouldnât have a place in the succession line. We would have more freedom. This part is what I like the most of this option.â
âWhat do you want to do?â she asked him sincerely.
âHonestly Iâd like to marry you. Pressure or not, if you were up to it we would go to the town hall tomorrow.â he waited until the shocked expression on her face faded. âWe could live somewhere else than Kensington â donât care much for that part. I donât want our children to have titles. itâs a fucking burden to bear, but he or she will be upgraded to prince or princess whenever father is King anyway.â
âDo you think our marriage would work? I personally donât think Iâd be able to face a divorce. I want all of âuntil death us do partâ.â she finished the ice cream and left the empty box on Harryâs bedside table and turned to look at him.
âOf course it wouldâŠâ she looked at him pointedly and asked him to think with his mind and not heart. âOk⊠thank you for the reality check. I think that we are very good to and for each other. Relationship is something you build and take care of each day. As long as weâre both committed to our success, I do believe we could go forever. Weâre both children from divorced parents and I think we agree that we wouldnât want that for our children. But also we wouldnât want an unhealthy environment for them to grow up at, just like we did. So if it came to a point where our relationship became toxic, we would need to separate our ways.â
âThatâs a more sensible response Mr. Wales.â she pecked his lips again.
âI donât think itâs healthy for us to keep guessing what might happen. Itâs way too many options. Itâll drive us crazy... I would rather think and chose something that is actually given to us to think about.â
âDo you think you can have an appointment with The Queen after my 12th week milestone?â she was biting her lips as a nervous trait.
âI shall see to it.â he answered.
âThen we will be presented with options and decide whatâs best for our family.â
âOk...â he helped her to lie down. She was wearing one of his pajamas shirts and her ten-week bump showing. He caressed it and then placed a soft kiss on it.
âI do want to tell my mom first. Can we?â
âWe can do whatever you want, darling.â
âSo after we pass that milestone, I will call her and then we will sit with The Queen to discuss.â
âIn the meantime I will do my best to keep you hidden.â he said.
âWhich wonât work as we have Tommyâs Christening to attend.â she laughed.
âAnd are you OK with that?â he was still caressing her bump. âI know that you want to go, but donât you think itâd be better if you stayed home? Or maybe just attended the reception afterwards? Thereâs a great chance of being spotted. Are you ready for it? Your life as you know it will be forever changed⊠and for that I am deeply sorry.â
âWell⊠I donât want to miss it and sooner or later I will be spotted. We wonât arrive together or sit together during the service. But I do think the press will put 1+1 together and link me to all other photos⊠As I will be the only unknown person there. And I know what Iâve signed up for upon agreeing to be your girlfriend and carrying your child. No one will ever be ready for that. And I will need to rely on you a lot.â she sighed.
(âŠ)
Carol had asked Hailey to design something for as she had no idea what to wear on a Christening. She had been flattered when Lara had sent an invitation that said âHonorary godmotherâ for her, she truly wasnât expecting an invitation to such an intimate and formal event.Â
She was at her sisterâs studio â which was a spare room at her house â surrounded by lots of fabrics, sketches, pictures and at least three sewing machines. This was the last fitting of the pink dress Hailey had said would work for a morning event.
âYou really should stop eating junk food Carolina.â Hailey said when noticed that the dress wasnât closing as smoothly as it was three weeks before. âYouâre getting chubby.â
Concentrating on not laughing or spilling the beans, she simply nodded.
âThank goodness the Christening is in two days or Iâd have to loosen up this dress, again.â Hailey said clearly irritated. âNever show up on time on fitting days and when you do show up, youâve gained weight. Good Lord.â she mumbled to herself and when finished, she let Carol look at herself in the mirror.
She was in awe. Even barefoot, without her hair done and make up-free she was feeling pretty. Which was a first ever since she learned she was carrying her bundle of joy. The dress had 7/8 sleeves, the front had a draped finish and the skirt that ended just above her knees was made of feathers in the same colour.
âItâs amazing, Hailey. Thank youâ Carol said turning around to see. âI think I want you designing my whole wardrobe.â
âLetâs not get carried away, shall we?â Hailey joked. âNow you just need shoes and accessories. Please donât ruin my creation.âÂ
âI might stop by at Harrodâs later and see if I can find anything.â
âMaybe go with a big hat to cover your face?â her sister offered knowing that Carol would have her life turned upside down any moment now.
âThatâs exactly what I am going for.â
(âŠ)
Carol had asked for a day off on Friday before the christening and packed everything she was going to need for the weekend affair. All godparents (Harry, Skippyâs sister Victoria, Laraâs brother Henry, Eugenie and Jake Warren) were to check in at the luxurious Luton Hoo Hotel for a welcome luncheon and to rehearse (Carol didnât understand why a Christening would need a rehearsal but didnât comment on it). Then the other guests would arrive on Saturday at noon for the Service and then attend a brunch afterwards. The godparents were expected to stay at the hotel and enjoy itâs spa, checking out only on Sunday evening after a thank you dinner.
Carol had to pack way too many outfits and right now she was fitting well into only half of her clothes because of her bump. She was accompanying Harry for the three day stay as per Laraâs request. The brunette had bought a small golden bracelet with Tommyâs name engraved as a gift and hoped his parents would like it.
Harry asked Bill to carry Carolâs luggage to the waiting car while he kissed his girlfriend and â when he checked they were truly alone - her bump.
âYou both ready to go?â he asked.
âYes! I need to see that little red headed cherub!â she said happily.
They went to the car, both sitting on the back seats, buckling up and talking animatedly about the party and Harry explaining what was expected of her. This was Carolâs first formal encounter with people he had known his whole life. Most of them were daughters and sons of his parentsâ friends and they all have been a tight knit group ever since they were born.Â
Skippy and Lara had opted for a small gathering of closest family members and a few selected friends â Carol was so relieved about it, she didnât think sheâd be able to face a big gathering right now. Thankfully she knew some of the guests that would likely attend as she didnât want to be left alone while Harry was on godfather duty.
âSo Eugenie is coming?â she asked.
âYes⊠Sheâs also a godmother, remember?â he replied.
âOh thank God. I think I only know her and Jack and Jake and Zoe. Are you sure Arthur and Alessandra are not attending?â
âYes. Alessandra had to do something in California and Arthur went with her.â he traced the worry lines on her forehead. âDonât stress too much, Carol. I will be by your side most of the time.â
âI know⊠itâs justâŠâ she started and he waited. âNevermind.â
âWhat is it darling?â Harry said holding her hand.
âI canât help but feel inadequate to attend such an event.â
âItâs the Christening of your friendsâ kid. How on earth can you be inadequate?â he was confused.
âSaid friends are aristocrats, barons and baronesses... Close enough to the monarchy⊠and Iâm⊠Iâm just⊠me.â she said, not looking at him.
âCarol, trust me. Your accomplishments are way greater than what any of us will ever have. You fought your way through life to get to where you are now. We all just had it all handed to us on silver spoons, quite literally. If not actually handed, doors were opened because of connections and surnames.â he kissed her temple. âAlso, if anyone think any less of you, itâs their loss. You did point out a few days ago that weâre on the 21st century after all.â
âHopefully I wonât embarrass you. I donât know a single thing about etiquette.â she said, biting her lower lip.
âIâve done my share of embarrassment enough. Nothing you do will ever beat my Vegas trip. Donât worry. If anyone treats you badly, let me know. Or just go find a familiar face to chat, Ok?â
âOk. Thank you.â
âYouâve got it. Just keep your charming self and youâll be fine.â he added kissing her knuckles.
She admired the change in the scenery as they left busy central London to the countryside on their way to Luton. Carol was still feeling uneasy, but decided to have some water to try and calm her stomach. Being driven on the âwrongâ side of the road still scared her and she was trying to believe in what Harry had said and not what her mind was shouting at her.
The hotel was a newly renewed manor and itâs perfect tended lawn and lakes were quite imposing. Harry offered his hand to help her out of the car and they went to the lobby to check-in. He usually asked Bill to do it, but wanted to give some sense of normalcy to his girlfriend, so decided to do it himself. He obviously understood that Carol knew who he was and knew that he had some privileges and hadnât to bother with some tasks as everything he could possible need wouldâve been taken care of in a matter of seconds.
He also didnât want to scare her away â or let her think that he was incapable of doing things for himself. He wanted to tone it down a bit, and let her see that they could mix her humble upbringing with his luxurious and privileged one. He was set to make an effort and be more hands-on on tasks that the rest of the world did on a daily basis.
âThe rest of the world donât go to a 5 start hotel for the weekend.â he thought to himself, shaking his head, while signing the paper the receptionist gave to him.
She couldnât help but notice the clear shift on the staff behaviour when they spotted Harry. They all bowed or curtsied to him, all of them curious â but obviously not asking â as to who she was. Harry intertwined their fingers while he spoke to the attendant at the lobby, to reassure her. Bill and the other bodyguards appearing just seconds later with their luggage and attentively looking around the seemingly empty lobby.
Apparently they had a paparazzi free travel and he was thankful for that. Harry had booked the mansion state suite for them, which was bigger than her whole apartment. Their California king bed was so inviting and she wanted to take a nap so badly but knew that she couldnât. As she was travelling comfortable â another reason to have been looked upon by the staff -, she knew that sheâd have to change for the luncheon.
Soon, some of the hotel staff was unpacking their luggage and organizing everything in the walk in closet in full speed. She didnât even have the time to ask them to leave it â as fast as they came, they were gone.
Harry was on his phone and she didnât want to listen to his conversation, opting to go to the bathroom for a quick shower to help her to stay awake. It might have been the car movement that had her so sleepy. The bath robe available was so soft and slightly warmed that it almost made the somewhat âwake upâ cold shower ineffective. She styled her hair in a sleek ponytail and opted to wear one of the dresses that concealed her growing belly. She applied make up â making it simple â and went to the bedroom to fetch both Tommyâs gift and her heels.
âYou look amazing darling.â Harry said when he spotted her yawning. âTired, huh?â
âSo much...â she whispered.
âI will try to find an excuse for you, and then you both can rest a bit.â He said, kissing her neck while resting his hands on her belly.
âGood luck with that.â she laughed.
He helped her with her shoes and changed clothes as fast as he could to go to one of the banquet halls where the invitation said the luncheon would be held. He had one hand on Carolâs lower back, protectively and also to guide her through the doors. He could hear the footsteps of his bodyguards behind them and made a mental note to ask Bill to increase the distance between them a little bit. This was going to be a stressful event for Carol and he didnât want her feeling suffocated.
Their heard Tommy crying before they arrived at the hall. Exchanging a concerned look, they hushed to the Victorian styled room. Lara was holding her cherub, pacing the room, making soothing noises while Skippy was searching for something inside the diaper bag until he retrieved a pacifier. Carol went directly to Lara.
âCarol! Iâm glad you came.â Lara said, side hugging her friend while rocking the little boy and looking for her husband. âIâm sorry. Heâs fussy today.â
âIs he okay?â Harry asked concerned.
âDonât mention it! Hi Tommy.â Carol said in a sing-song voice, caressing his red locks. âAuntie Carol is here.â
âHeâs fine mate. Have just woken up.â Skippy replied when arriving with the pacifier, giving it to his son who stopped crying immediately. He greeted his best friend and Carol, asking them to make themselves comfortable while they waited for some people to arrive to start serving the food.
âCarolâ Lara asked after a few pleasantries were exchanged. âDo you mind coming with me?â
âSure.â Carol handed her clutch to Harry to hold, grabbed Tommyâs diaper bag and followed Lara to the nearest bathroom that smelled like lavender which immediately made her head hurt and her stomach to turn, even before pregnancy she hated the scent to lavender.Â
Thankfully she hadnât eaten much until now. The room was large â like everything in this hotel it seemed -, with marble sinks and stalls, gold details, everything screaming âtastefully luxuriousâ, it also had two deep burgundy upholstered chairs
âItâs my turn to change this little manâs nappy and I think heâs getting hungry.â Lara said happily undoing his onesie buttons, while Carol handed her the wipes and a clean nappy. âIâm glad you came. We wonât have much time to catch up this weekend, though. But we should go out sometime. Maybe lunch?â
âWeâve been busy, havenât we?â Tommy smiled melting both womenâs hearts. âI wish I was busy with this little man⊠Office work is so boring.â
Carol disposed of the used diaper and arranged everything back into the bag while Lara sat on one of upholstered chairs and got ready to feed her baby, Carol sat across from her friend. She watched at how lovingly she talked to and looked at her son and how happy the infant latched on.
She noticed in that moment that she wanted that so badly. Her love for her child was already one of the strongest feeling she ever felt. She knew that her baby was her reason to believe in a better tomorrow and to fight for it. She knew sheâd move heavens and earth to make this child protected. Her mama bear instinct kicked right in at full force.
Her hand unconsciously went to her bump caressing it. She wanted to be a mum and in that moment she finally figured out that she was going to be a mother in a few monthsâ time. She wanted to feel the first kicks, she wanted to hold her baby close to her and get to know everything about her little bundle of joy: his or her preferences, mannerisms, personality, dreams...
âWhy are you crying?â Lara asked after she looked up at her friend and saw the brunette with tears on her eyes.
âItâs nothing...â Carol said drying her tears.
âCarol⊠Is anything the matter?â Lara was preoccupied.
Carol got up to fetch a tissue and dry her tears. She took a deep breath and smiled at Lara.
âIâm pregnant.â Carol blurted.
âBeg your pardon?â Lara looked at her with a shocked expression on her face.
âIâm pregnant.â Carol repeated slowly this time.
âWhat is it with us and bathrooms when it comes announcing pregnancies?â Lara laughed. âHow far along? You werenât planning to tell me, were you?â
âIâm ten weeks along, we found out a couple of weeks ago. And no, no one was supposed to know before the twelve week mark⊠but seeing you with him, I just realized that I want this so badly and these damn hormones made my mouth talk faster than my brain could think.â
âDonât worry, your secret is well kept. Iâd hug you but master here is hungry.â they smiled and Carol sat down again. âHow are you feeling?â
âI didnât have many symptoms before I found out, but then, I became tired, breasts sore, sleepy and snappy.â they laughed and Lara commented it was very normal.
âAnd howâs Harry?â
âOver the moon. I think he wants to spread the word like wildfire⊠Heâs wanted this for so long.â Carol smiled caressing her bump. âBut heâs into an overprotective mode that is annoying.â
âExpected. He will be like this for the rest of your lives⊠Stop fighting it and get used to it, Carol. After everything that has happened to his family, itâs quite obvious that he wonât let anything of the sort happen again.â Lara said. âIâm glad for you. They will be close in age!â
âThank you for not pointing out the out of wedlock implicit in this news.â Carol said when Tommy unlatched and smiled at his mum.
âWell⊠youâre welcome? What are you guys going to do about it?â she gave the baby to Carol, together with a burp cloth while she clasped her nursing bra and adjusted the dress again. Carol was gently burping the baby.
âWe will know for sure in two weeks. Iâm trying not to think about it just yet.â she sighed.
âDo try to enjoy the peace while it lasts. We are definitely scheduling a lunch date after you have âThe talkâ and I will be all ears for you.â she kissed her friendâs temple.
After the baby was properly burped, the ladies made their way back to the hall where Harry had a glass of scotch on one hand, talking to Jake, Skippy and Jack, probably about football. Carol and Lara took their turns to greet the new comers, with Zoe and Eugenie cooing over the baby on Carolâs arms. Harryâs eye twinkled admiring his girlfriend thinking that soon, itâd be their baby on her arms.
Carol stood beside Harry, playing with Tommy only half listening to what people were saying around her.
âI see that Tommyâs stolen my girl.â Harry joked, caressing Carolâs lower back.
âI think itâs the ginger hair.â Eugenie joked.
âOf course itâs the ginger hair â and the cute face. Itâs nice to look at one for a change.â Carol joked.
âOk, gotta keep you too separated. You girls teaming up will be the death of me.â Harry joked.
Reluctantly Carol gave Tommy to his father while Harry introduced her to the people he knew. Basically everyone in the room was a Lord/Lady or Baron and she felt a little intimidated but didnât let it show. Carol first met Skippyâs parents and his stepmother, she knew his father was one of Prince Charlesâ best friend â and he was studying her. Clearly his friend would know that his younger son had a new girlfriend by this evening. She was polite but let Harry do the small talk. Then it was Laraâs side of the family, she was introduced to her father and brother. Skippyâs sister  was the easiest to get along with⊠she shared the same sense of humor as her brotherâs.
Carol was relieved when she found her assigned place at one of the round tables spread against the hall. It had a round floral vase in the centre, cutlery (lots of it) were made of silver and the glasses were crystal. Harry was sitting at her left and Jack at her right, followed by Eugenie, Jake and Zoe. Knowing everyone made things easier for her and Eugenie kindly asked her boyfriend to exchange places so she could sit by Carolâs side. Both of them engaged on a conversation during the first course. Eugenie was discreetly pointing to the right cutlery without anyone noticing and Carol gave her a polite smile as a thank you.
âDonât need to be nervous, Carol.â Eugenie said at some point. âYouâll get used to it. And thankfully the only members of the Royal family here will be Harry and I. Youâll do just fine.â
(âŠ)
Carol excused herself from the rehearsal. She wouldnât play an important part during the ceremony anyway and she wanted a nap. Lara, now being even more empathetic with her friend, didnât fuss about it and Carol went to their luxurious suite and straight to the bed, not even bothering in changing clothes or removing her make up.
She woke up later with feather-like kisses on her face and slowly opened her eyes to a very handsome Harry.
âHi.â he said smiling to her.
âHiâ she answered back.
âIâve missed youâ he said nuzzling his nose on her neck, giving her the now familiar goosebumps.
âItâs been only a couple of hours.â she caressed his beard.
âIt looks like an eternity for me.â he was laying on the bed beside her. âDid you get the rest that you need?â
âI did, yes.â she yawned and stretched. âFully charged now.â
They shared a laugh and Carol positioned her head on his chest and one of her legs between his. He instantly held her, playing with her hair.
âIâve asked Lara for you to enter through the back door tomorrow. I think Iâm not ready to share you with the world just yet.â
âThank you.â she whispered.
âMy heart almost skipped a beat when I saw you with Tommy today.â he said and she could hear the smile on his voice. âMy girl with a ginger baby on her arms⊠If you werenât pregnant already youâd be getting tonight.â
They both laughed hard at that.
âDonât be so cocky.â
âItâs just⊠you know that youâre giving me something Iâve wanted for a long time. Donât you?â he said after a while. âA family of my own to protect, to take care of and provide for. A child to teach lots of things â someone to be a better version of myself. Thank you, Carol. I know this is hard for you. But I promise to be there every step of the way.â
She was crying after he finished his speech and he knew it. He didnât mention or made fun of her because of that, but he only held her tighter and kissed her temple.
(âŠ)
Carol woke up early on Saturday morning. It took her a while to untangle herself from Harryâs arms but she managed it. Putting on the robe to cover her now naked body, she went to the living room space of their suite and asked for breakfast to be delivered for them. She took a quick shower and started setting up her make up and hairdresser station on the bathroom vanity when Harry woke up and went to her, hugging her from behind.
âMorning.â he said trying to open her robe and receiving a playful slap afterwards.
âMorning!â she replied.
âDo you have time for a quickie before you start making yourself even more beautiful?â he asked seductively.
âNow now Mr. Wales⊠we did have four very âlongiesâ last night. You canât possibly be still horny.â she said looking at him through the mirror.
âWell⊠your bigger breasts make me hard. I canât help it.â he said circling her nipples with his thumb.
âIf we start, we are going to be late. So, your Royal Horniness, keep yourself together and we shall deal with it afterwards.â she fastened the robe belt again while he pouted and sat on the counter.
âWhy do you need all of this?â he asked pointing to all of the make up she brought, changing the subject and concentrating hard on other things so heâd get rid of the boner he was sporting at the moment.
âItâs not even enough and I want to look nice today.â
âYou look nice every day.â he said while watching her washing her face and applying some lotions.
âThank you.â she said looking at him and pecking his lips.
She started to apply her make up and he didnât even wanted to ask what all of those things would do, deciding to take a shower before breakfast. She finished faster than he thought, given the amount of things she applied and they enjoyed the perfectly cooked breakfast before changing clothes.Â
Harry wanted a picture of Carol wearing that pink dress and noticed that if she placed her hand on her belly, they could see her small bump that seemed to grow by the second. He smiled when mentioned it to her and she said that she would likely have a very big bump.
âYou will be a very sexy momma.â he commented while holding her clutch and the present that they had forgotten to give on the day before and went to their friendâs suite.
Skippy opened the door to their suite and informed Carol that Lara was in the bedroom nursing. He and Harry stayed on the living room while Carol went on the search of the baby.
âMorning sunshine.â Lara said when Carol opened the door.
âGood morning!â
Tommy looked around and smiled at Carol before turning and latching once again.
âAs soon as he finishes, can you dress him for me, please?â Lara asked and Carol agreed.
âWe forgot to give you his present yesterdayâ Carol gave the small package to her friend. âI hope you like it.â
Lara opened it and thanked her friend for the bracelet. It was very delicate and simple, one that sheâd buy herself for her son if she had thought of that and clearly a very well thought present for him.
âI loved it, Carol. Thank you so much.â
After the baby was well fed and burped, Carol dressed him carefully and combed his hair to the side. She then fastened the bracelet on his arms and left Lara alone so she could finish getting ready for them to leave. Upon entering the living room again, with Tommy smiling and happy, Harryâs heart filled with emotion.
âYouâre going to kill me.â he whispered to her.
âWhy?â
âYou with him on your arms, you being so lovely to him and carrying our baby⊠I canât wait until itâs our turn.â
(âŠ)
Harry and Carol rode together with Eugenie and Jack to the St. Albans Cathedral. The car stopped first at the back entrance where Carol jumped off and quickly entered the church, finding her assigned place. And then stopped at the front of the church and sure enough, lots of photographers were waiting for them there. Harry and Eugenie waved and entered the church, waiting for Skippy and Lara to arrive. Harry was shifting his weight and looking where Carol was sitting still alone.
âCalm down, Harry. Sheâs just fine.â Eugenie mentioned.
âI donât think having her here is a good idea.â He replied.
âWhy not?â
âI donât think sheâs ready for whatâs to come from the media once they realize who she is.â he sighed.
âItâs not going to be easy, we know that. But you love her and she loves you⊠and I think sheâs a very strong woman. With our support sheâll do just fine.â Eugenie side hugged her cousin.
âThank you for âour supportâ part. It means a lot.â
âI really like herâŠâ
âSo do IâŠ. Jack, would you mind?â Harry asked.
âRight on it...â he pecked Eugenieâs lips and went to sit beside Carol. It was pretty obvious how she had relaxed after seeing a friendly face and they both started chatting right away.
(âŠ)
The Service was very right to the point but beautiful and moving.
Lara had asked someone to decorate the church with lots of flower arrangements in a mixture of white Casablanca lilies, tulips and Lily of the valley. Tommy was as happy as he could be, trying the eat the program on his mumâs hand and smiling, up until the water touched his head but his daddy soon made him stop crying and cheery again.
Carol was paying attention and making sure she held the best posture as possible, as she knew that some of these people had Prince Charles on speed dial and she wanted to make a good impression.
Even though when you meet him youâre going to announce youâre pregnant⊠Not the greatest first impression will come out of that.
She shook her head to clear off these thoughts and smiled at her friends when Skippy waved at her from the altar. She was really fighting the urge of placing her hands on her bump and making a mental note of asking Harry how christenings were done in his family. She knew what they shared with the press, but didnât know how the ceremony was held.
Lara requested everyone present to take a group picture, together with the priest before they left the church. Although Harry had tried to have her beside him, Carol ended up beside Jack on the far right of where he was. After the pictures were taken, Bill appeared signalling it was time to go and Carol left through the back entrance going straight to the waiting car.
At moment, as they had rehearsed, Harry and Eugenie left the church through the front door together with the other attendants and stopped to take a few pictures with his godson as Lara wanted.
Everyone else started to get into their cars to head to the reception whilst Harry, Eugenie and Jack  conveniently stayed behind to stop and wave to the press â just to make sure that Carolâs car would be long gone without anyone following.
Jack was the one driving this car and he could see that the Prince was nervous and he could relate to that⊠He was the one arriving at the family and even then it was very difficult. As soon as they entered the Hotelâs grounds â out of sight of the paps that began following them - Harry got out of the car before it even fully stopped moving and bolted straight through the corridors until he found the reception room. Carol was there, sipping on some water and he immediately hugged her.
âAre you alright, darling?â he was carefully checking her to make sure she wasnât going to hide anything.
âYes, just fine⊠I think Iâm still undercover.â she said. âBill is a great security man, Harry. Donât worry.â
âI donât like the idea of you getting discovered while pregnant...â he confessed.
âI know. I donât either.â she chastely pecked his lips. âLetâs just not think about it, ok? Everything went fine and the other guests are arriving and you have more pictures to pose for.â
Harry went on godfather mode, still making sure Carol was within his eyesight.
The photographer Lara hired was good, getting all the âmust haveâ shots as quickly as possible and Harry wanted to have one of him, Carol and Tommy. When he saw the picture on the cameraâs display, he knew that it was going straight to the mantle of his fireplace.
________________________________________________
A/N: I hope all of you are keeping safe and sane on this quarantine mode.
Thank you for your continued support! I love to read all of the messages you send me and hopefully youâll enjoy this quit long chapter.
Well donât keep us in suspense ... Iâm dying over here.
Well, hello there!Â
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One of his hands, without him even noticing, grabbed one of the tests and he looked closely to it as if that was a dream he was going to wake up from. But it seemed as harder he looked, the brighter those undeniable straws became.
Neither of them would ever forget the feeling of those bright pink straws.
Neither of them would ever forget the feeling in their gut when they saw it.
He could hear Carol crying on the background and he knew he needed to react right and fast as to not scare her, as not to give her the wrong impression. How could he do that as he didnât even knew for sure how he was feeling at the moment, never imagined heâd be filled with so many emotions at once. He was happy, he was so fucking happy because he was going to be a father.
He was happy because she would be the mother of his child and that nothing in this world would ever be more important to him than his family. He had a family of his own as of now.
But in between his family and whichever feeling he had about them, stood his title and position. He did not want to think about it right now. He had to partially hide his emotions and conflicting thoughts to be able to be there for the woman he loved and that was now carrying his child. Their child.
He turned around and saw her, crying and a bit disheveled.
âDarling...â he started.
âIâm sorry, Harry.â she begged. âIâm so so sorry.â she hiccuped mid-sentence.
âThereâs nothing to be sorry for.â he answered sincerely and approached her. He caressed her face and embraced her, making sure that he was even more loving than usual. He couldnât even start and try to imagine what was going through her mind right now. âShhh⊠please donât cry my darling,â he said while fighting his own urge to cry, both from happiness and worry. He couldn't lose her. Not after all the battles he had fought.
âI have messed up.â she said into his chest.
âCarol⊠you did not make this child by yourself,â he answered calmly. âThis is a blessing.â
âWhat are we going to do? We just started dating, I still have to finish my master's⊠you are not a  common man, Harry. You are a prince and this child will be called a bastard for the rest of his or her life.â she cried even harder after this.
That thought had not crossed his mind until she mentioned it. It was so easy for him to forget who he was whenever he was around her, that just now the seriousness of this situation started to make its space into his mind. He would need to deal with his father and grandmother â to whom he had promised to treat Carol respectfully and accordingly â but worst than them, he would have to deal with the press. And by experience, there wasnât much of what he could do. He would not be able to keep his girl and his baby safe from the mediaâs nasty words.
Gently he started to guide her to his bedroom and sat her on his bed. He kneeled in front of her, holding both of her hands between his and she gasped.
âPlease donât do what I think you are going to do.â she said sharply.
âIâm not going to propose.â he said a bit hurt. Both that she thought he would propose in the middle of his bedroom and that she was going to say no if he did it now. âI just want you to look at me and listen to me carefully. Ok?â
She nodded.
âWords cannot describe the mix of feelings I have right now. It will take me a while to understand most of it but I am beyond happy that we are going to have a child. I want you to know and be certain that I want this child. I am not thinking of the hardships and troubles we are going to have⊠For me, there is no other way than for us to have this baby. But I will support you on any decision you make.â he took a long breath. âI am thrilled that you are going to be the mother of my baby and⊠please, not for a moment think this is going to be a burden. I have no idea what we are going to do from now on, but I will be by your side every step of this way and we will find out together.â
Her heart broke into a million pieces when she saw the thin tear roll down his cheeks. She noticed that he also wanted to cry, as she was doing since the first test came out positive.
She kneeled in front of him and hugged him tightly. Her mind had taken the best of her and she had imagined lots of things of how he would react and in all scenarios, he would react badly. She took a mental note to stop underestimating Harry. He proved her wrong all the time.
âWe didnât even have the talk about children.â she whispered.
âYou know I always wanted to be a father.â he whispered back. âDonât you?â
âYes, I do. But this soon?â she said.
âI donât regret it⊠could it happen in the future, with us married and after enjoying a bit more of our lives? Yes⊠but if God sent us this blessing now⊠it might as well be what we are needing at the moment.â He never thought he would be this faithful, but he was. Nothing happens without a reason. And they would figure out what this unplanned pregnancy would mean to them.
She pecked his lips and got up. She laid on his bed and he soon was with her. He caressed her face, her eyes and her lips. His hands knew every inch of her body, and slowly it was placed upon where their child was growing. He smiled big and caressed it for a long time her still a non-existent bump.
âYou didnât tell me you were having pregnancy symptoms.â he said.
âI wasnât. I mean.. the symptoms were sleepiness, heartburn, headache.â
âOur child is already special⊠giving you unusual symptoms.â they both laughed at that.
âWhen do you think this child was conceived?â she asked.
âI donât recallâŠâ He tried to remember when he had failed to use a condom. âOh my God.â
âWhat?â she said startled.
âThe beach⊠that was the only time where we were unprotected. He or she was made under the stars.â
âThat is romantic⊠if we donât consider all the other facts.â
âThat was the night you accepted to be my girlfriend.â he smiled and she soon followed. Her smile still not reaching her eyes. âGuess I wonât have you only to myself for so long then.â
âYeah⊠we got a souvenir from that night, huh?â he felt a bit more relieved that she was already making jokes about it. That meant that she was still with him. And that her mind wasnât taking her to places where he wasnât sure he would be able to rescue her from⊠and save their relationship at the same time.
âIf you werenât feeling any symptoms⊠how come you decided to take a test?â he asked.
âSofia pointed it out.â Carol said and told him the conversation she had with the princess.
Flashback
âCarol⊠donât get me wrong, please. But are you sure these heartburns are normal?â Sofia asked her when Carol was putting on her coat to leave and go to her hotel. Her friend had a thin line of sweat on her forehead, was a bit pale and out of breath.
âWell⊠Normal is not feeling anything, but I guess its just stress. I am working and traveling a lot, studying for a master's degree and dating a prince.â Carol said.
âWell⊠you do have a crazy lifestyle, donât you?â they both laughed. âBut arenât you pregnant?â
Carol stared at Sofia as if she was the craziest person on the face of earth.
âAre you out of your mind, Sofia?â Carol laughed at that. âIâm not pregnant.â
âAre you sure?â Â Sofia crossed her arms and stared at Carolâs bump. Defying her friend to say otherwise.
âWell⊠Iâm not late, it is expected in a couple of days. And Iâve only had headaches and heartburns. Iâm sleepy all the time because I barely have much time to sleep anyways. There arenât any pregnancy symptoms. Chill.â
âOk... sorry to mention it, but I saw when you got a bit dizzy while carrying Alex⊠and weâve been friends for a while and you never mentioned you suffered from heartburns ever⊠and you always had this kind of lifestyle of overworking, barely sleeping...â Sofia said the concern on her friendâs face. âI guess this wonât be the time I will become âaunt Sofiaâ then.â
End of flashback
âThat was when I noticed that I miscalculated my period. It was two weeks late and not too week to come⊠The rest, you know...â Carol said.
âHow do you want things to go?â Harry asked after she said.
âCan it be a secret for a while?â Carol nervously bit her lip.
âOf course⊠I mean we need to go to a doctor and make sure everythingâs ok⊠But we can tell people whenever you feel ready for it.â
âI am going to ask Agnes for an appointment. Do you want to come?â
âI wouldnât miss it.â he pecked her lips.
âFor now⊠letâs just the three of us know. I am probably around week 5 or 6, still too soon to spill the beans, right?â
âRight.â he agreed and did not understand why she was counting the time in weeks.
âThen we need to know how to tell your grandma⊠Never thought next time I would meet the Queen would be to tell her that I am carrying a child who is likely to be born out of wedlock.â
âOne day at a time, darling.â Harry said. âOne day at a time.â
âI want to speak Portuguese with the baby.â she said. âI miss speaking Portuguese every day and he or she not knowing the language would break my heart.â
âYou can speak whichever language you prefer, darling. It will need to communicate with grandma.â he said.
âYes...â she started crying again and he wondered why. âShe will be so disappointed. How come I get pregnant at a young age, not married⊠We are going to disappoint lots of important people.â
âBut thatâs their problem, not ours. We love each other. And we are together. And we will raise this child together. Thatâs what really matters.â
She pretended she didnât hear the L-word. She wasnât ready for that. Yet.
âWhat about press and media?â she asked.
âCarol⊠letâs not fret over things beyond our control. We shall deal with that when we come to it, ok?â
âOk.â
They stared at each other for a few minutes.
âHarry?â
âYes?â
âThank you.â
âFor what?â
âFor staying⊠for reacting the way you did. It really helped.â she whispered. âI thought you would freak out, yell, end thingsâŠâ
âYou should really try to control that creative mind of yours. It does wonders on work and school⊠but in your personal life, you always try to expect the worst from everyone. And not everyone is like that...â
He just kissed her to show and reassure her that he was not going to go anywhere. And that they would face this together.
(âŠ)
When she was asleep, he got out of bed and went downstairs to pour himself a glass of scotch, making sure to have a double dose. His mind was running but he wouldnât dare to let her notice it, as he knew how she would get. He was immensely happy and thrilled to know that he was going to be a father. He finally would have a family of his own and accomplish one of his greatest dreams, but everything that came together with it was going to give them a hard time. He knew Carol would oppose moving into Nottingham Cottage and he wouldnât be able to live with her at her flat. He wasnât even sure that she could if she wanted to, move in with him.
He knew his grandmother would be happy for him, but at the same time she would be disappointed at him for doing things the wrong way. She was a ninety-two-year-old lady after all. She would tell him that this situation wasnât how he was groomed to have his family starting.
His father would give him hell for the whole pregnancy, might even stop talking to him. He was afraid of how his father would look at Carol. Would he be able to see how fantastic, hardworking and trustable woman she was? Or he would simply look at their slip and take her as a gold digger?
And he didnât even want to know what Maria and Flavio would say. He didnât know them that well, but he knew that Maria had big dreams for Carol and that she wasnât one to encourage skipping steps of life. She had, after all, worked her ass off to be able to keep her daughter in college. She herself had carefully gone through all the right steps in her own life. He had started to see Maria as a mom and he would not want her disappointment either.
The press would be ruthless and he wouldnât be able to protect them from it. If Carol ever accepted to live somewhere else, somewhere private, where they could be away from media even in another country, they still would be searched upon, photographed whenever they needed to run some errands, people would say things andâŠ. - He just poured himself another glass. All the thinking was giving him a headache.
He was starting to consider renouncing his title, getting a job of his own and providing for his family. That seemed the easiest route. But even though if he did it, he had already lived for so long in the public eye⊠it was no guarantee that they would be left alone. They could move back to Brazil, get a house near Maria and he would have to learn how was it like to go to work every day and wait for payroll⊠He could also not work every day and wait for payroll like a commoner and live by his inheritance... No matter what the course of action, he wanted this child more than everything in his life and he wanted his girl to be with him. He did not consider abortion and it would definitely break his heart if that was to be what Carol wanted. He didnât think that she would do that, but that would be something that she could do if she wanted⊠and he had promised to be by her side no matter what she chose.
He didnât notice time slipping by and even startled when he heard Carolâs footsteps on the stairs and her sleepy voice calling him. He looked at her, messy hair and a t-shirt of his. He smiled, drank the last sip of scotch and went to her.
âI missed you in bed. Everything alright?â she asked when he approached her and kissed her shoulder.
âOf course, darling. I just needed a drink. Letâs get back to bed. Shall we?â he whispered.
âAre you sure?â she pressed.
âI am sure, my love. I did not want to wake you up.â
âOk thenâŠâ he carried her to his bedroom and carefully placed her on his bed. He soon was by her side, hugging and trying to give her the reassurance that he did not have at the moment. He kissed her whole face before lovingly kissing her. He loved how their bodies were eager to be in each other.
âI love you, Carolina.â he said after their kiss ended.
She felt her heart pounding in her chest when she heard that word again. She only looked him in the eyes and knew that he understood that she wasnât ready to say those words. She also got that he wasnât going to not say that to her. He wasnât afraid of his feelings.
She pecked his lips and made herself comfortable on his arms, soon falling asleep again. He simply held her in his arms, taking care of her, of them, before sleepiness finally took over him.
(âŠ)
It was a Thursday night of the next week when Carol entered Agnesâ office. She had asked for an urgent appointment, at night and preferably not letting anyone â not even the secretary â know that it was for her. Carol arrived together with Harry who was driving, parked nearby the back door and called Agnes. She opened the door and before she left the car, one of Harryâs RPO entered her office and did a fast sweep. After giving the couple the green light, Harry and Carol left the car as fast as they could and holding hands, taking the steps together for the first appointment of their baby.
The RPO stayed in the waiting room. Agnes had a feeling of what was happening but she respected their time and waited for them to start talking after the pleasantries and introductions were done.
âWhat can I do for you, Carol?â Agnes said, always so professional.
âAgnes⊠You might imagine, after all the demands that I requested â and I am sorry for this â why weâre here, right? I kindly ask you to not tell anyone about what happened here. Not Hailey, not Flavio and my mom. I still need some time to process everything.â Carol said, holding Harryâs hands as if her life depended on it.
âCarol⊠You are scaring me. You can trust we are under secrecy inside this room⊠I started to see you as a daughter. I promise not to say a word if you promise to take care of whatever it is that you need my work on.â Agnes said trying to ignore the fact that Prince Harry was inside her office together with her daughterâs stepsister.
âIâm pregnant.â Carol blurted out for the first time. She couldnât help the uneasy feeling that she had when she said it out loud.
âCongratulations!â Agnes' suspicions were right after all. âWhen did you find out?â
âLast week⊠Saturday, to be exact. Weâre⊠weâre dating. I donât know if Hailey told you this... but⊠Itâs soon and obviously unplanned...â Carol said and Harry held her hand tightly.
âYou donât need to give me any explanations, Carol. You are a very responsible adult and I trust you both will do the right thing.â Agnes said and started filling a form, changing the main information that would lead anyone to discover who the patient was.
âWhen was your last period?â She asked.
âI believe it was March 31st, donât remember exactly.â Carol answered.
âWeâll then have to find out how far along you are with an ultrasound.â
âWe know the date.â Harry said.
âYou do?â Agnes was looking at them with an eyebrow raised.
âThat was the only time we were unprotected. April 14thâ
âThe wedding, then?â Agnes smiled.
âYes⊠Our souvenir was better and different from the other guests.â Carol joked.
âLetâs take a look at your weight and blood pressure. Ok?â Agnes asked getting up and Carol soon following.
âEverythingâs looking perfect right now,â Agnes said after she took notes of Carolâs blood pressure, weight and measurements of chest and waist.
Thankfully for the new parents, there was an ultrasound machine in her office. They were dying to see if everything was ok. Carol changed clothes to a disposable hospital dress and laid on the bed while Agnes was putting on gloves. She first examined Carolâs breasts â after she found out she started to complain that they were sore all the time â saying that it was a normal thing, it would become a bit larger and darker, she then carefully examined Carol to see if everything was as it was supposed to be. It was. She was professional, gentle and caring and responding all questions Harry and Carol had.
âBased on the conception date, you must be around 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant, Carol. That means, Harry, two months.â
âThis baby was quiet enough⊠if it werenât from Sofiaâs tip and the heartburns we might as well have found out when she was ready to pop...â The girls laughed hard at Harryâs joke.
âItâs better when moms discover not right at the beginning, I see.â Agnes said preparing the equipment. âBecause we all want to hear something, that only after week six we are able to. Letâs try and see this baby of yours.â
She carefully inserted the ultrasound machine â the only way for this week of the pregnancy â and they saw a small thing on the monitor. There wasnât much shape to it, but they knew that it was their baby.
It was so small, so defenseless. But at the same time, it meant so much. It was asking them to love him or her. It was asking them to become a family.
âLook Carol⊠thatâs our baby.â Harry said when the screen changed, holding her hand and kissing her forehead, with a teary eye.
âOh my God⊠itâs so smallâ Carol said between tears.
âLooks like everythingâs alright here⊠Itâs well placed inside the womb, the placenta is in the right place⊠letâs see if we can catch any soundsâŠâ
TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM
That sound was the most amazing music they had ever heard in life. It was their child, showing them that everything was OK⊠that they could rest. Neither would ever forget how that sounded and what it meant for them at that moment.
Agnes let them hear for more minutes than an average appointment before she helped Carol to clean up and get up.
âI am going to ask you for a urine test, blood tests and to take some pills. I will give you a box that I have here⊠and after your blood test, if you need more vitamins, I will prescribe others, ok?â she said handing Carol a box of folic acid pills.
âAgnes, I canât thank you enough!â Carol said after getting the prenatal pills she would need to take daily.
âYou donât have to mention it, ok? Please let me know when you intend to go to the lab to get the other tests done, I can arrange your privacy.â She said hugging Carol and then Harry and congratulating them again.
âWill do. How much do we owe you?â Harry asked getting his wallet.
âThis one is on the house.â Agnes refused politely. âPlease do let me know when you intend to let people know. I canât wait to buy cute little outfits for the baby!â
âWe will do. Thank you, doctor.â Harry said.
He and Carol were on cloud nine after the appointment, both holding the photos of their baby that Agnes had given them.
âSee⊠we made a super baby.â Harry said.
âDonât be cocky about it...â Carol replied pecking his lips.
âI am so fucking happy, Carolina.â he said and her heart warmed.
(âŠ)
âAre you sure you have to go?â Harry asked her.
âYes, Harry. I am.â she said finishing packing.
âIsnât there anyone else to cover for you?â He insisted.
âNo⊠Itâs my project after all.â she rolled her eyes.
âI donât feel comfortable with you flying so early in the pregnancy.â He stated.
âHarry⊠We just left the appointment, Agnes said everything is just fine. She did not oppose it. And I am already one day delayed. I have to go.â
âPromise me you will take care. Work reasonable hours, eat well and take your pills.â He said looking at her and she went to him, holding his face between her hands.
âI am fine⊠I feel fine and I will take care of our baby. I canât tell my boss that I am pregnant yet and this trip to Johannesburg was scheduled months ago. I have to be there. Four days only and we will be back.â she said lovingly.
âI wish I could go with you.â He whispered.
âBut you canât.â she said firmly. âWe will be fine, Harry. I promise I will take good care of us.â
âOk⊠But I donât like my family away from me.â He said and saw her tearing up. âWhat did I say?â
âYouâre the sweetest man in this world, Henry.â she smiled. âDamn hormones.â
âUsing that card already, are you?â they laughed and after a goodbye kiss â he couldnât drive her to the airport â he carried her luggage to the car and kissed her a few times more before she left.
Carol did not want to go on this work trip, but she had to as it was scheduled beforehand. She was flying business and it made things a little less uncomfortable for her. Her bump was starting to appear if anyone knew her body well and looked very closely, and she was starting to feel some not so nice symptoms. She had to go, it was her career⊠the career that she fought so hard to have and build⊠and she hadnât thought about what she was going to do with it after the baby was born. Would she be a working mom? Stay at home mom? Why had she fought so hard to study if she was going to put it aside? At the same time, she wanted to be a hands-on mom. It was her dream. She just didnât know how she would do both. Or if she wanted to do both.
Her trip was like any other work trip she had taken since moving to London. Endless meetings and workshops, taking shifts to train everyone, answering questions from all sorts while keeping up with her e-mails and being aware of what was happening in the London office while she was away. Video conferences and a small chat with colleagues. She did try to slow things down a little bit but wasnât able to, she had made her team used to her workaholic habits of doing a thousand things in a day, so they prepared her schedule based on this. She took her pills religiously and made sure that no matter where she was, she was snacking on healthy food and having proper meals â which was a first. At the end of the day, at the hotel, she only wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. She was tired as if sheâd ran a marathon, and wondered how much of it was pregnancy-related.
Harry was either calling or texting her all the time to know if she was alright and although she did appreciate all the concern and care, she was getting fed up. She knew how to take care of herself and her baby. He did not have to ask her a thousand times if she had drunk enough water or eaten a healthy and balanced meal. She was keeping her thoughts to herself and thanking God that this was going to be a four day only trip as if it had lasted longer, she surely would snap at him.
(âŠ)
He was waiting for her with flowers at her apartment when she came back to London. She had been miserable for the whole flight, with nausea, her breasts too sore and she wanted to pee every 10 minutes. The last thing that she wanted was to be close to him, she just wanted to be left alone, but she did not have the heart to send him away. He probably asked someone to clean her flat, do her laundry and bought her favorite take out at an Italian restaurant near her place.
âI missed you.â was the first thing he said when she opened the door. âHow are you?â
âTired,â she answered, side hugging him. âFlowers?â
âYes. I have also prepared a bath for you as well⊠and I can give you a massage later.â Harry offered, clearly noting that she wasnât in a good mood. âYou need to rest and eat and I am here to make sure of that.â
âThank you. I really appreciate it.â she said above a whisper and left her luggage nearby the door, going straight to the bathroom, where she cried alone for being such an idiot to him. He was trying to make nice things for her and she was a total bitch to him. She took a quick bath and went to her bedroom in her bathrobes to fetch some moisturizer to apply to her body. He was sitting on her bed, waiting for her.
He noticed that she had cried, but said nothing.
âCarol, wait...â Harry said when she took off the bathrobe and was about to apply the cream.
âWhat now?â she asked impatiently.
âYour bump⊠its⊠bigger.â he was in awe.
She took a few steps to be able to look herself in the mirror and saw that her bump was indeed bigger. She hadnât noticed it in Johannesburg, but now there was a small bump in her body where their baby was growing.
He got up and touched it lightly. He then kissed it and that was enough for all hormones come crashing and for her to start to sob. He didnât pay much attention to that, because his child was already showing.
âDaddy missed you.â he whispered to her bump. âMissed you and mamĂŁe.â [MamĂŁe = mommy]
Carol was crying for everything and nothing at the same time. Harry was speaking to their 8-week baby and she had worked so hard that she did not notice her bump growing and she was a horrible mother and girlfriend for that. He took the cream and applied carefully in all her body, and helped her to dress in her favorite pajamas.
âDo you want to have dinner now?â he asked after finishing.
âYes, please.â she answered, still crying and wanting to stop, and not being able to.
âWhy all the waterworks?â he asked.
âI donât know! I want it to stop but I canât!â she said.
âLetâs see after I feed you if that will stop...â he had set the table for them. âDonât you think itâs best for you to share it with someone whoâs been through it?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âWell⊠youâre clearly in a mood⊠And I donât know what to do about that. If you talked to someone whoâs been pregnant before, maybe itâd help. Why donât you call your mom?â
âI still donât want her to know...â she said eating.
âThen Agnes?â
âWeâre not that close, I guess.â
âSofia? She was the one who found out anyways⊠She will keep our secret.â Harry said, eating and taking a sip of soda.
âI will call her later.â Carol said after giving it some thought.
(âŠ.)
Harry stayed in the living room while Carol called Sofia in the bedroom. He kissed her before she left, and she had said she was sorry for the way she was treating him.
Carol tried to rehearse a way of spilling the beans, but decided against all tries. She would go without a script. She sent a message first, asking if they could video call in 10 minutes and the princess said yes.
When Carol called, she was sitting on her bed and beside her was the pictures of her baby that Agnes had printed for them.
âHi Carol...â Sofia said cheerfully. âHow was South Africa?â
âI did not have time to explore⊠I barely saw it, to be honest. How are you? And the little cherub?â
âI am great, thanks. Alex is sleeping over at Victoriaâs today. And Carl Philip is out with some friends. All by myself tonight, thank God.â they both laughed at that. âWhereâs Harry?â
âWatching soccer in the living room...â Carol answered.
âI thought you both would be glued right now...â Sofia said laughing.
âWeâre not 15, you know? We can keep our hands off each other.â she laughed.
âWhatâs the matter, Carol?â
âWhat do you mean? That was a joke...â
âI know that was a joke. But Iâve come to know you and I know something is troubling your thoughts⊠spill it.â Sofia crossed her arms.
âFirstly I need you to promise me that you wonât tell anyone. Not even Carl Philip.â
âPinky promise.â the brunette said.
âThereâs something I need your help in taking care of...â Carol started, grabbing the photo.
âWhat is it? Have you guys been spotted?â Sofia was concerned about her new friend.
âNope⊠Not yet.â Carol said.
âThen, what is it? Stop stalking and tell me.â
âThis. We need your help to take care of this...â Carol said and then showed the pictures to the camera of her laptop.
At first Sofia didnât see it as the camera took a while to focus. Then she saw it was an ultrasound still and saw the little baby in there.
âI KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! IâM GOING TO BE AUNT SOFIA!!!â The princess said with joy. âHow far along are you? When did you find out? You better have found out after you left Sweden otherwise I will kill you for lying to my face.â
âI am 8 weeks along and yes, I found out after I left. The first stop was Boots to buy the tests.â Carol answered.
âIâm so happy for you, Carol. How are you feeling?â
âI am happy and confused and overwhelmed and tired. Itâs so many feelings. Never thought someone could feel that much in so little timeâŠ.â Carol took a breath. âPhysically, Iâm alright. Have not gained any weight, the headaches and heartburn stopped. But my breasts are larger and darker and sorer, I have a tiny bump and sometimes I feel nauseous. And sleepy and I need to pee every 10 minutes. This child measures what? A grape, perhaps and is already giving me bathroom trips imagine when itâs fully grown.â
Sofia laughed at her friend, remembering that she went through most of what she was describing herself when she was pregnant.
âThe second trimester is the best one, trust me. You will feel more like yourself again.â she advised.
âAnd the hormones are awful⊠Harry did a very nice gesture to me today and I couldnât help but be a bitch to him. Thatâs why he told me to call you.â Carol stated.
âSo youâd bitch me instead? Nice exchangeâŠ.â they laughed.
âWhat are you guys going to do?â Sofia asked.
âWe have not talked about it yet⊠I want it to be a secret at least through the first 12 weeks and then we will tell our family and the courtiers and try to decide whatâs the best route for us. Hopefully, the press wonât spot me until then.â Carol said.
âThatâs wise.â she pointed. âThank you for trusting me with this. Iâm so thrilled for you.â
âThank you for tipping me off, and for being there when I need the most.â Carol said, already starting to cry. âI needed to talk to someone whoâs been through it, you know?â
âI do. I do know⊠Next time Iâm in London I want a girls night and we can talk endlessly about pregnancy and dreams for our children.â
âIt still feels like Iâm dreaming.â
âYouâre accomplishing a dream⊠Iâd say you are dreaming.â
âWould you be a godmother to him or her?â Carol asked. âIâm not sure if you can, but, would you?â
âI am honored. And, of course, I will be godmother. And help you both find your pace and settle on whichever path you decided to follow with Harry. You are becoming a family and family is the most important thing in life. Donât worry about anyone else. Take care of yourself and my godchild, ok?â Carol nodded. âI think Carl Philip has arrived.â they saw him opening the door behind Sofia and cheering on them.
âOh, Hi Carol⊠back from Africa already?â he said sitting beside his wife.
âYeah...â she said discreetly drying her tears. âFour days only, barely saw anything. So much work to be done, and little time to do it.â
âI thought you and Harry would be glued to each other by now...â
Carol and Sofia burst out laughing.
âWeâre not 15, Carl Philip⊠heâs watching soccer.â
âI'll tell you⊠that ginger has gone soft.â
______________________
A/N: I AM SO SORRY for finishing the last chapter on such a cliffhanger and then take forever to update. I really struggled with this chapter and rewrote it several times, to be completely honest I still donât like it but I didnât want to let you guys waiting more for it. Hope you like it and so you know, already working on the next one. Weâre getting close to part II of this history.Â
They decided to stay in Noronha for a few more days and they were about to change their tickets again when reality came and knocked on their door.
They both did not want to come back to England because they knew that they would need to do a few things in regards of their relationship. Harry was, as always, respectful of Carolâs timing and they did spend most nights talking about what was to be expected of their relationship. He was guiding her through it all and assuring her that they wouldnât lose themselves in the middle of media, palace and protocols.
He briefly explained to her what could and could not be done and she had figured half of it by herself before she even met him. Everyone knew that the girlfriends used to have a hard time specially with the media. His previous girlfriends had gone through hell and not to mention what Kate had to endure over all those years. Although he was doing his best not to scare her, she was scared â but not for a second regretting her decision. She wanted to talk to someone who had actually gone through it.
âYou should not worry about the palace and protocols as for now...â he said while they were flying back home, on the private jet of the Royal Family. âThey will leave us be for now, to see if the relationship evolves.â he paused and looked at her âThe only thing you will have to do is obvious and you probably know already.â
She laughed.
âYeah⊠keep to myself, trust no one, accept a new phone so I donât get hacked. Also change email addresses, lockers and such⊠it all before the media finds out who I am.â she answered. âHow long do you thing we can keep this as a secret?â
âWell⊠we were just surrounded by family and all staff have signed NDAâs. We are both loaded with work, so we probably wonât be sleeping over as much⊠I think, if we are lucky, four to six months of oblivion.â he said. âBut we need to check that with Foxy and the team.â
âWhat about your grandmother?â she asked.
âWhat about her?â
âAre you going to tell her? Do you have to write a formal letter for the Royal book?â she was clearly insecure and he side embraced her.
âHow do you even know about the Royal bookâŠ. Never mind⊠I will tell her, of course. Come to think of it, I find that she was actually expecting this.â
âWas she now?â Carol was surprised.
âI think she was⊠she liked you, Carol. I told you that many times.â
âWell⊠pardon me for not believing that the Queen liked me after our only three minute encounter.â they both laughed. âOk⊠I think I can do this. Just need to stay out of the media and not let them discover who I am. Canât even imagine what to tell my boss if they find out too soon.â
âItâs quite hilarious that you work at BBC and somewhat with media and press and you are dating me. Quite the breaking news to change a journalist's life. Ainât it?â
âI think our dating is quite life changing enough. I could though tip one of my friends and make a change in someone elseâs life.â Â - They both laughed hard at that.
As expected, as soon as they landed, real life came crashing on them.
Harry went straight to Kensington on a separate car and Carol waited for an hour to leave the airport, so the press would be gone by then. She went home and after unpacking and a shower, and obviously a phone call with Harry, she started checking her emails and saw that she had tons to do.
She wanted to work a bit more, but when she noticed it was way past 10pm and the jet lag was taking a toll on her, she made a cup of tea and went to bed.
When she left her flat the next morning, she felt like she was being watched. She looked around but there was only the friendly elderly couple that she saw every morning, she said a few amenities to them, as always and kept walking to the nearest station.
She couldnât stop glancing around. It seemed to her that all eyes were on her. Like the world already knew.
The reality was that everyone was tending to their own business and just commuting to work in that morning.
She took several deep breaths and started to reason. If someone had said something, Harry would have let her know. And she wouldnât be able to leave her apartment due to the photographers.
She arrived at work and barely had the time to sit on her chair. Her boss called her for a meeting and she cursed under her breath.
Before she arrived at the meeting room, she sent two texts.
The first one to Harry:
C: Why do I feel like the word is out?
The second one to Sofia
C: We need to chat. REALLY need to chat. Going to a meeting now. Are you free for a call around lunch time?
âI mean it, Sofia. It looks like everyone knows!â Carol whispered on her phone while having lunch on her desk.
âHas anyone said anything about it? Boss, coworkers, Edward, Harry?â Sofia calmly answered.
âNo. Harry assured me that no one knows.â
âSo⊠its something of your imagination, Carol. Just chill. Take a deep breath. Stop freaking out for no reason. Otherwise you wonât have much energy when everyone does know.â
âYou are right⊠I mean. Itâs been less than a week⊠first day back in London.â
âYour fears are getting the best of you. Stop it!â
âOk⊠How did you do it?â
âOne day at a time. And focusing on what mattered.â Sofia said and Carol could hear Alexanderâs giggle, she was probably playing with the little boy. âFocus on strengthening your relationship, evolving as partners. When the storm hits, you and him will be ready. Donât waste your energy on something that has not even happened yet.â
âOk. I will do thatâŠâ she took a deep breath. âI will be in Sweden in two weeks. Can we meet?â
âOf course. Let me know when so I can arrange. Do you want to stay with us?â she offered.
âI really donât want to bother. They have booked a hotel for me at Gamla Stan. But thank you.â
âWell⊠we can meet for lunch nearby where you will be working, but I want you to come and have dinner with us. So you can meet little Alexander.â they both laughed when they little boy answered âjagâ (yes) on the background.
âWill do. And⊠Sofia, thank you for this.â
âDonât have to thank me.â
âI donât believe it! It took us one whole week to be able to be together. I think we should both quit our jobs and only date for a living.â Harry said while helping her make dinner at her place.
She simply laughed.
âWe chatted everyday though. Even had Skype calls.â she said mixing the ingredients in the pan.
âNot the same as being with you, touching and kissing you. I swear it Carol, our jobs suck.â
âIts not like you can quit yours though...â she smiled and pecked his lips and caressed his face. âBut I do appreciate the fact that you missed me and want to spend more time with me.â
âOf course I want to spend more time with you, darling. You are my girl. I have fought so hard to have you. Donât want to lose you by not being there when you need me.â He was truly concerned about it.
âYou are not going to lose me that easily. I do think we should be working less, but with William still in Norfolk and me with all my trips, we are going to have to accept the fact that we are going to be separated most of the time.â she turned off the heat of the stove âWhich I think is good⊠time apart makes us miss each other more.â she bit her lower lip and he kissed her temple.
âI just want this to work. I just want to enjoy while most people donât know about us.â
âWe will make the most of the time we got, babe. Donât worry.â she started setting the table for them and humming a song.
âIts been a while since you did that.â he said taking a sip of his beer and admiring her.
âSince I did what?â she asked.
âHummed. You used to that all the time when we were working.â
âYou noticed that?â she was surprised. Sometimes she didnât even realize she was humming the same song.
âOf course I did. At first it drove me nuts, but I have started to enjoy this sound.â
She smiled at him.
âI donât know this song, though.â he added.
âI will share it with you when Iâm ready.â she smiled and they both sat to eat and catch up on their weekâs work.
Not in a million years both of them wouldâve thought that they would rather spend the night in instead of going out to restaurants, pubs or dance clubs.
They took their time having dinner, did the dishes together and laid on Carolâs bed to watch some TV shows. Carol wanted this now more than ever, this sense of normalcy. Here, inside her apartment it only existed both of them. And she did not had to worry about anything else on this world.
She made herself comfortable in his arms and closed her eyes for a minute to forget the nasty headaches sheâs had for longer than she could remember and that now have been joined by heartburn.
âWhen are you going to Sweden?â he asked.
âNext week. I have bought Alexander lots of gifts.â she said excitedly.
âHave you now?â he laughed. âI swear, you spend all your salary in spoiling kids. First Tommy, now Alexander...â
âWait until I meet George and Charlotte.â they both laughed at that. âI just love kids. Thatâs all. If it was for me, I wouldâve bought things for Estelle, Oscar and Arthur⊠but I donât know Victoria...â
âYet.â he interrupted her.
âI donât know Victoria yet⊠as I was sayingâŠ. And I donât know how she would feel like in receiving gifts from a stranger.â
âWell⊠she always gets gifts from strangers on her birthday, doesnât she?â
âDo you think you are OK to fly? You complained about your heartburn for the whole week. And headaches and flights are a very bad combination.â
âI have to, though. I have been taking lots of meds for that. Hopefully it will pass soon.â
âYou know⊠I should be a therapist. After my slightly push you and Harry started dating.â Sofia said mid lunch when they met.
âYou did help me a lot, Sofia. Thank you. But its not easy. Not that I thought it would be. I mean, every relationship is hard. But in our case⊠its harder.â Carol took a huge sip of water as the heartburn had worsened.
âI will give you that. But so far you guys are doing a great job.â she smiled.
âThanks.â
âWho else knows?â
âMy mom and stepdad, my sister and probably her mom. His immediate staff, Skippy and Lara, Arthur and Alessandra. Julia, a friend of mine and I believe he has informed his grandmother, but  I am not sure. You and Carl Philip as well.â Carol said before taking a bite of the meatball she had ordered.
âI thought he had told William too...â
âNah⊠he and William are not really speaking of personal subjects at the moment⊠He will at some point as itâs been a month since weâre dating.â Carol smiled remembering the exact night he asked her.
âLess people knowing the best...â
âAirplane again?â she asked looking at the little blonde boy that was staring right back at her.
âJag, jag, jag!!!â Alexander had his arms in the air for she to pick him up and make airplane noises while walking with him around his playroom and watched by his parents.
She picked him up, made the noises and gave three full circles around the couch and his toys and put him on the floor again, quickly sitting and asking the little cherub to sit by her side, as she was completely dizzy and tired of all the times she had done that before.
âAlexander, I am going to take you to London with me!â Carol said, still out of breath and dizzy. âHow come a two year old can be so sweet???â
The little boy just smiled and asked Carol to play with the stuffed tiger she had brought him.
Carol tried to learn a few basic Swedish words so the boy would understand her, but they were getting along just fine. She even, for a minute or two, forgot that his parents were in the room and that they were in the middle of a conversation.
After they had dinner and Carl Philip excused himself to put the little boy to bed, Sofia accompanied Carol to the door.
âAre you alright?â she asked.
âJust a heartburn that doesnât leave me for two weeks now.â she answered.
âIts odd for someone to have that for that long⊠I really hate heartburn. Iâve had it during my whole pregnancy.â Sofia said and offered her some pills that would help. Carol thanked after she got the small box.
âI did know that I had a few issues with my stomach. Just did not know it was too severe. Already have an appointment when I get back. Thank you again, Sofia for having me.â
âThank you for visiting and babysitting for us!â they both smiled. âNext time you come our remodel will be ready at Villa Solbacken.â
âCanât wait for next time.â
Carol went straight to Kensington palace after her plane landed. She only had a quick stop at Boots and then hired a cab outside the airport. She was supposed to go to the office, but she called in sick and her boss was starting to cut her some slack due to how hard she was working these past weeks.
She arrived and saw Martha, Harryâs housekeeper and tried her best to not be rude. Her discomfort had reached a level where she was a bitch even to her shadow. But it wasnât Marthaâs fault. She asked if she could go to Harryâs bedroom or if Martha still needed to clean that. The sweet housekeeper said she could stay anywhere in the cottage and promptly grabbed her luggage to start her laundry. Carol tried to fight and say that it wasn't necessary, but the other woman insisted.
Carol only grabbed her tote and he laptop case and went to Harryâs room. She had texted him on the way saying she was going to his house and if he could meet her there. She said she missed him and that Carl Philip had sent him a few bottles (which was true).
She paced his bedroom for a whole five minutes both trying to see if that would relieve this fucking heartburn she was feeling. She was waiting for the meds to kick in. Sofiaâs meds really did help and she made sure to buy a few more before she left Sweden. Also she was trying to be bold and do something that was echoing in her mind.
Deciding that there was no point in delaying the inevitable, she opened her bag, got the package she bought at Boots and went to the bathroom.
After a quick shower, she was wearing Harryâs pajamas when he arrived. Happy to see her and concerned because he had been informed that she wasnât 100% well while in Sweden.
She hugged him tighter than ever. She needed him and his assurance.
She needed his smell and his body. She needed him beside her today more than ever.
âHey⊠babe. Whatâs wrong. I am here. Do you want to go to the ER?â Harry whispered calmly while caressing her wet hair.
She just needed his embrace and presence, for she didnât know for how long she would have it.
âTell me what you need.â
âYouâ she whispered back.
âI am here.â he answered.
âDo you plan on staying? Through thick and thin?â
âOf course, Carolina. Have you gone mental? Youâre my ride or die. The love of my live.â he answered and looked at her. She was crying and he didnât know why.
âYou promise?â she asked while he was drying her tears.
âOf course, I promise. What happened to you, darling?â
She tried to tell him. She really did. But her tears and her nervousness took the best of her.
She simply hold his hand and took him to his en suite bathroom.
There, on the marble top of the sink was something that would change their lives forever.
Staring at them as if they have a bright arrow pointing at it stood three pregnancy tests.
Harry didnât understand what it meant for a moment and approached.
And he saw the most bright pink straws on the three of them.
I hope youâll update soon. Iâm so in love with this story! Its by far the most romantic Prince Harry fanfic in my bookđđđâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
Just found your story and binge-reading it !!! Saw that you had links to Polyvore outfits, but since they've closed down, do you have the JPEG you can link or have you transferred your sets to another website?
Hi... thank you for reading.
Unfortunately I still havenât found the time to re-do the outfits. I am studying again, working and planning a wedding myself.Â
But it is something I do want to do. Will keep you posted.Â
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Their officially together!!!! I loooovvvvveee this story. Itâs unbelievable how invested I am in Carolina and Harryâs relationship. I canât wait for you to update the next chapter. Do you have a plan for when they are going to to go public with their relationship?
They are!!!
Although they are dating, Carol is still very insecure about the media and such. Their plan is to be a secret for as long as they can... thatâs their plan, but not what is going to happen. :)
A body that she learned to recognize anywhere, anytime. She knew where a few scars would be, where he had freckles and where his muscles were the strongest. She knew every detail by heart and she loved it.
She yawned and smiled. Because she was home. Although away from home, she would be home whenever Harry was close.
She looked up and saw his sleeping face, his mouth slightly open and she took her time to just enjoy this moment, to listen to his breath and to feel her heart warm up in a feeling that she couldnât deny anymore. This was love. His love had proved itself strong enough to make her slowly but surely leave her fears behind and start this journey with him.
She caressed his beard and his chest with her fingertips and he stirred in his sleep.
âMorning, sleepyhead.â she said when noticed he was awake.
âMorning?â he answered and his voice made her heart skip a beat. âHave we slept for that long?â
âJust a way of sayingâŠ. Itâs high noon. It will get dark soon, though.â she said.
He kissed her forehead and tightened his embrace.
âI have missed you, Carol.â he whispered.
âSo have I, Harry.â she answered back without even thinking about it.
She leaned in and pecked his lips. She longed there just a little bit more and he smiled.
âI think we should get dressed and go say hi to your family. We donât want to be the anti-social couple. Do we?â he smiled.
âI donât care if we stay in this bed⊠Itâs so comfortable and food is just a call away.â she pouted. âWe need to have our time together.â
âI know, babe⊠But remember, we are here for your mumâs wedding. We canât stay locked in the room the whole trip. Even though I have some great ideas for you and me and this room...â he wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.
âWe are sharing then?â she said sitting up on the bed.
âAbsolutely!â he jokingly bit her lips. âShower with me?â
âHarry⊠you just said we have to mingleâŠ.â she answered suspicious.
âCarol! What a dirty mind you got, yes⊠I invited you for a shower and not for a quickie.â
âI know you well enough, Wales.â she said âBut if youâre not up for it⊠OK.â
They both laughed and made their way to the bathroom.
âWell⊠we are in paradise and missing each other. A quickie will do⊠for now.â
Carol and Harry wandered around the hotel, to get to know the facilities and to solve last minutes errands for the rehearsal dinner. She and Hailey talked to the wedding planner about seats, security and other surprises they had prepared for their parents big day.
Tonight would be their welcome night, with a tropical dinner and lots of Brazilian music.
Maria, as always thoughtful, had arranged things in a way that Harry didnât feel misplaced. She introduced him, as her son, to the few relatives she had invited to the ceremony. Most of them did not speak English but Maria found a way to make everyone understand what he meant. Also, she made sure to have a few typical Brazilian foods for him to try and other safe options in case he didnât like them.
Carol watched her mom bond with Harry, while catching up with her grandmother with a smile in her face. She made sure to talk with everyone, they all wanted to know how life in London was treating her and obviously how she ended up dating a prince. About their newly growing relationship Carol gave evasive answers and changed the subject. Itâs not that she didnât trust them, she did. But she didnât feel comfortable in sharing details about their relationship yet.
She still was a great mystery to the press and she wanted it to be that way for as long as she could. Itâs not like she didnât trust her family and friends, but she didnât know who might overheard if she gave too much details and leaked it to the press. This was going to be her life from now own, double think every single thing she was going to say and to whom. Be careful of who might overheard or if something is taken out of context.
It was way past midnight when dinner was over and just the immediate family was sitting on the sand, with drinks and snacks and a fire pit, chatting.
Harry had brought a light blanket when he saw that Carol was getting cold because of the soft wind and how close they were to the sea.
She was sitting between his legs, and he wrapped her with the blanket. And when he was not speaking or laughing at the jokes Flavio and Hailey were telling, he was giving soft kisses near her ear or on the top of her head.
âMariaâ Harry asked âVocĂȘ ansiosa?â [You anxious?] - He surprised everyone when he asked in Portuguese. A very heavy accented Portuguese, but understandable.
âAre you anxious?â Maria asked him and everyone knew what she meant.
âNot anxious, no. But I want her to be protected and safe. And I know that sometimes I wonât be able to provide it⊠and it makes me uncomfortable. It took us long enough to get to this point where I earned her trust and hopefully her heart⊠I donât want exterior issues to jeopardize this.â
âMaking a relationship work is a hard task⊠for you, will be even harder. But I do believe that you have built a very great foundation.â
âSo do we, mĂŁe.â Carol answered sipping her champagne glass.
The next day was a beach day and they all were going from a beach to another, they went diving (and even spotted a small shark), they swam and they ate the amazing food the hotel staff prepared.
They played card games (and Harry was beaten by Carolâs grandma every time â that she started to suspect he was letting her win on purpose), drank the best drinks and napped.
After having an amazing day, tonight was the rehearsal dinner and he had prepared a speech, that if opportunity came, he would speak.
After Maria and Flavio thanked everyone for their presence and Hailey said a few words of how happy she was to be part of this family and how happy she was for her dad, Harry asked if he could say something, because he knew that Carol had skipped the speeches because she would not be able to finish one without crying her eyes out.
âI know that I am the last person you expected to say anything tonight⊠but I will give it a shot.
When I first met Carol, and yes, Hailey, I am starting the speech talking about her, I knew she was a strong woman. This is something you notice about her anytime she walks in a room. Her strong presence, her manners, her politeness and her heart⊠you notice all of this on Carol and this is what makes her this indescribable woman that I had the pleasure to meet⊠and date.â
A few people clapped their hands and cheered.
âBut⊠I couldnât help but think that all of this didnât come by itself or without a price. When I came to learn their history and all the hardships they faced and later, when I finally met Maria I understood why Carol was the way she is. Because Maria is not only beautiful and caring and motherly. She is fierce. She faced everything life threw at her with her head held high. She made sure to teach her daughter how to treat people, how to fight for what she deserves, how to pursue her dreams...â he took a sip of water and continued. âAnd I am very happy to see the woman who since day one didnât look at my title but at myself and embraced me as her son. The woman that goes out of her way to make me feel comfortable, cared for and well fed⊠might I add⊠to find such a great man that will know how to value this preciosity. Not only find but re-encounter. Your love history has had ups and downs and you both arrived here today proving all odds wrong⊠and your respect and love is something that I do want to mirror into my relationship. Thank you for allowing me to be here today and to have me as a part of your family. I have come to really think of you as my family and I wish nothing but happiness and joy and love to your new married journey. And hope that, one day, we will repeat this trip. With grandchildren for your to spoil and remember the good times we shared. To Maria and Flavio.â he raised the glass of wine and when he looked at the girls of the family, they all were crying their eyes out.
Maria was the first to embrace him and whisper something in his ears. Something that not even Carol was able to find out what it was⊠even though she tried. This was their little secret.
âYou are going to dehydrate me, Wales!â Caro said drying her tears. âI didnât know you had prepared a speech for tonight. It was very, very beautiful and touching.â she said pecking his lips.
âHope you liked it⊠it is one of my charms.â they laughed and Hailey threw her napkin at him.
They danced for a while but everyone was calling for an early night as the wedding was set to start in the morning.
Harry asked Carol to walk with him. She took off her heels and with their hands intertwined they walked in silence for a couple of minutes under the big, bright full moon and the stars. Listening to the waves and feeling the breeze.
They had not felt more connected than in this moment. They both knew it.
âI need to ask you something.â Harry said just above a whisper.
âYou can ask me anything.â Carol answered and looked at him. They stopped and he held both of her hands. Gave a soft kiss on her knuckles and smiled.
âVocĂȘ quer namorar comigo?â [Do you want to be my girlfriend?] he said slowly to make sure she would understand what he was asking. Hailey had told him, that in Brazil you have to ask someone to be your girlfriend and not just date and the status changing as it goes.
He also made sure to learn how to ask her this, in her mother language, because he listened to every time she said she was homesick and missing speaking Portuguese. He had enrolled with a private tutor to learn a few things⊠he just didnât know how hard this language was. It would take more time than he initially thought. But it was worth it. He repeated these words in his head all the time, to make sure he would not forget them, or their right order. But also, these words meant a lot to them⊠and he wanted to be sure that when he asked her this question, the only answer she would give would be a positive one.
Carol was very surprised when she heard what he said and she smiled. Smiled and felt a single tear roll down her cheeks.
âYes!â she said hugging him tightly. âSim, sim, sim!â
He did a dramatic intake of air, as in relief, and twirled her.
âOur first kiss, as officially boyfriend-girlfriend, will be under the stars?â she said.
âOf course⊠I am a romantic man, Carolina. Had it all planned in my head.â
He held her face with both hands and whispered âYou have no idea of how happy I amâ before he kissed her. Gently, with no rush, showing her all the love he felt and that was burning and growing inside him. Now he could yell to everyone who would be able to hear that he had the most amazing girlfriend. That she was his. With all her perks, the good days and the bad. She was his and he would honor her trust until the day he died.
Carol was overwhelmed with such tenderness and thoughtfulness Harry was proving to be someone worthy of her heart⊠and tonight⊠she would give it to him.
Freely.
Lovingly.
And with no regrets.
They would face the world, his world, together⊠as long as they had each other. Nothing else mattered. Not anymore. Not today.
The kiss soon escalated, and the natural lust they felt for each other took the best of them. They needed to seal this moment, to be united as one. To show how much they loved each other.
Harry carefully laid her on the sand, loving the idea of being left alone from the guards. There was only them on the beach.
Harry
Carolina
and the moon.
They reached the climax together, at the same time a shooting star crossed the sky.
Hailey knocked on Carolâs door way too early in the morning. And before Carol complained, she remembered what they had promised each other. To have a time to themselves before the wedding. A time for them to just take a break and a breath of all the planning and just stop to enjoy Noronhaâs views, because this was paradise and they needed a moment of calm. A moment to bond - even more - as sisters.
So she got up, changed clothes and kissed Harryâs sleepy forehead before she left the room.
She smiled at her sister and side hugged her.
They walked towards the beach and got their feet wet at the sea.
âWe look like two twelve year old girls.â Hailey pointed out.
âI do know that my twelve year old me would love to do this.â Carol said.
âMine as well...â
âWeâre becoming a real family today, huh?â Hailey only nodded. âAnd I want you to know that I wonât always be a role model and sometimes I am quite the bitch, but I will always be there for you. To support, love and to just be there when you need me the most. Our parents getting married is not a present for them, it is also for us. Because now we are not alone anymore. And I want you to know that I love you, baby sister.â
âWhy do you always have to point out that I am the youngest?â
âBecause you are!â
Hailey splashed some water at Carol.
âI will be here for you as well, Carol⊠you know⊠of everyone in the world my dad found his old love and it came as a bonus. They are happy and so are we. Thatâs what matters.â
âIt is.â
âI am looking forward to be the cool aunt to princesses and princes, thoughâŠ.â Carol laughed. âYou are doing this, arenât you?â
âI am. I wasnât sure if I should before, but how can I turn away from such love and tenderness? He really is the prince charming, although I donât tell it to him as often. The hardships we will face together...â
âAt the end of the day, family is what really matters.â
Maria had chosen to walk down the aisle by herself. She would meet with Carol and Hailey midway and they would go together.
The officiantâs speech was very beautiful and touching and everyone was a bit moved by his words. Harry had held Carolâs hand for the whole service and she was leaning into him while she watched her mom get married to the love of her life.
Thankfully everything was perfect and went how it was planned.
The party was amazing, just like the food and the sweets.
They had an amazing time as a family and enjoyed themselves.
Maria and Flavio were officially husband and wife, and Hailey and Carol were officially sisters.
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