when I saw that beer was named after odin I should've known it was ill-advised, now I got hugin and munin whispering their secrets to me

#extradirty

if i look back, i am lost
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@tellmeayarn
when I saw that beer was named after odin I should've known it was ill-advised, now I got hugin and munin whispering their secrets to me

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Considering the possibility of Holmes being related to the Addams Family, probably on Morticia's side for the Frenchness
Primarily based on these images
But also because I want Holmes and Morticia to speak French, and for him to fence with Gomez, and teach the kids about poisons and criminals
(The family all adore Watson and find him absolutely fascinating, of course)
βHereβs a letter for you, old man,β I announced as I sifted through the morning post one grey day in October. βNot a lot else, Iβm afraid.β
Holmes folded down the top of the newspaper he was reading so he could see me. βA letter from whom?β
βNot sure.β I turned it over to study it as best I could. The envelope was thick and expensive, postmarked from America. The ink was rich and black, and it smelled unexpectedly floral, with an odd sulphuric note underneath. βLooks to be a womanβs writing, Iβd say.β
βIf you would.β He held out a pale hand. I passed him the envelope and he neatly sliced it open with his pocket knife. A single page slipped out onto his breakfast plate. He unfolded it with a flick of his wrist, then smiled. βAh! Morticia.β
βMorticia?β
βAddams. She is my second cousin.β
I was immediately intrigued, for Holmes so rarely talked about his relatives. It had taken several years after our meeting for him to bring up the subject of his elder brother, who lived and worked barely an hourβs walk away. I wasnβt surprised that a second cousin in America had gone unnoted until now.
βUnusual names run in the family, I see.β
Holmes smirked. βHer grandmother was my great-aunt SΓ©raphine, who met and married a quite singular gentleman named Algernon Frump while travelling. They settled over in the States many years ago, and dear Morticia now resides there with her husband.β
βWhy does she write you?β
βShe is arranging a sort of family reunion on All Hallowβs Eve. Apparently it has been far too long since we have all seen each other.β
βHow long is that?β
βSeveral years at least. It was certainly before you and I met.βΒ
βAnd will you oblige her?β
βI suppose I will.β He folded the letter and placed it neatly back in its envelope, tucking it into his inside pocket. βYouβve been angling for a holiday, my boy. Would this satisfy you?β
βWouldnβt it be terribly rude?β I asked, startled. βShe has invited you, not me.β
He tutted. βNonsense, Watson! Morticia knows we live together, of course.β
βHow?β
βShe will have read your book.β
βOh! Well that is kind of her. But a family reunion, Holmes, I am notββ
βYou are my partner and intimate friend. I assure you there are members of the Addams clan with far more tenuous connections, and many of them also of no blood relation. You will not be out of place, and they will be glad to meet you.β
(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile
as a USian, I literally cannot tell if my insight into why taskmaster works is (1) basic shit, but saying it would be akin to breaking kayfabe, or (2) actually insightful, but only because I know a teeny bit about theater and writing and happen to be paying attention. because the UK is rooted in different assumptions and is just generally a higher-context culture, it's like a different planet.
Best thing to be blasted to
atoms
bits
blazes
flinders
shreds
smithereens
No nuance.
Where's that post about the pacific ocean again when you need it

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I was enraptured with The Cleaner but the third season kind of seems to be garbage. what happened!
tomato cultivars cataloged by rutgers new jersey agricultural experiment station
So many of these could all be the names of either truly depraved Sex Acts or Organized Crime Executions
mob boss thats proud of their tomatoes: find that dirty two bit git and give em the speckled roman
goon who doesnt know that slang: aint that a bit harsh, boss? they killed fancy freddy after all
goon thats been on grindr too long: ILL DO IT BOSS
Out of Touch
Out of Touch Thursday
OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY
but im out of my head when youβre not aroundβ¦
This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes
reblog to feed her notes
How is she doing this
everyone is going thru it this morning, my feed is inundated with every fandom that someone I follow is occasionally feral about
AUGUST

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when creative partnerships are more intimate than a marriage and the break up is worse than a divorce
Asking Americans specifically: reblog and put in the tags how do you make tea.
all of the information is on the task
what if on Taskmaster one of the contestants died in the middle of filming a task but after doing enough of the task for it to be deemed complete so since there was nothing in the rules to say you had to be alive throughout they allowed it. & then all the other contestants bombed so badly that the dead person won the task and in the studio Greg was there like 'wow you all managed to do worse than Christine and she was dead for most of it'

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People went to Dunkin Donuts to get punched in the face. Like, getting punched in the face was a menu item. People paid money for it. And they just lined up to pay to get punched in the face.
Official Post of Massachusetts
Eating some chicken. Typical Fat Tiger.