strange musings

Eddie: *waving his hands* No! Nope! No way! Nancy warned me about this, and I am NOT falling for your trap! I see right through you, Harrington! I know exactly what you're doing.

Eddie got up and stormed out, leaving Steve confused. He came back in a moment later, tearing off his vest, and began taking off his clothes in a fury.

Eddie: Alright, we can have sex, but I'm not holding your hand! *pause* Okay, we can hold hands, but we're not cuddling after. *paused again* Okay, we can cuddle after, but that's it! No more!

Eddie stormed upstairs, continuing to take off his clothes. He came back down a moment later, wearing nothing but his boxers and one sock.

Eddie: Okay, we can do it again, but after that, no more! *pause* Fine, friends with benefits is acceptable, but I refuse to be anyone's boyfriend! I'm not the kind of guy you bring home to your mother, Steven!

Eddie disappeared up the stairs and came back down, missing his sock.

Eddie: Alright, I'll be your boyfriend, but I refuse to meet your parents. It's just not going to happen, Steve. You're going to have to give that dream up. . .oh, I see what you're doing. You little minx. That whole thing was a complete and utter trap. Flashing your ass in my face and asking if you look fat. . .oh, it's an evil plan, Steve! You knew! Oh, you knew! When we get married, you're taking my last name!

Eddie slid out of his boxers and threw them into Steve’s face. He disappeared up the stairs.

Steve: I have been trying for MONTHS, and now that I've finally given up, it happens!. . .Wait, why I'm complaining? He's naked in my room and waiting for me! I got him! I don't know how, but I did.

Until I met you.

“What – what’re you doing?” Steve muttered, his eyes wide and his heart thundering in his ears. He knew way down in the pit of his stomach that he’d fucked up.

“Oh shit.  Sorry. I just . . . I mean. I thought . . .” Eddie spluttered, back up a step. His expression fell into a pathetic sort of frown that Steve immediately wanted to make disappear.

“Yeah, well – you thought wrong.” Steve snapped but he instantly regretted his words and condescending tone. He grimaced miserably.

Dusk was settling in and the sky shimmered on the water’s surface, turning the lake into a wash of purple and orange. They had decided to end their day at the lake with one last quick dip to cool off.  

An uneasy silence fell between them. He could feel Eddie staring at him, anticipating something and a sick feeling swam down Steve’s gut.

“Jesus you’re a dick, you know that?” Eddie smoothed his wet curls out of his face and scowled.

“Oh, I’m a dick?” Steve gawked at him. He knew he was a dick. In fact, Eddie could use much worse words and it probably wouldn’t touch what as ass Steve was.

“Yeah man like what the fuck gives?” Eddie walked back a few more steps. Each step further away felt like a crack to Steve’s heart.

“I mean, for the better part of a month you’ve been . . .” Eddie punches out an exasperated breath. “I dunno. You’ve acted like you’re into me or something.” Even in the dull light Steve can see how hard it is for him to get those words out. Eddie takes a measured breath. Steve couldn’t meet his gaze. “Alright. Fuck this.” Eddie spat. And with that he stalked out of the water and up onto the shore.

Steve watched as he snatched up his towel from the sand, hastily tied it around his waist and walked off, side-stepping their campfire and disappearing behind their oversized tent and the dogwood bushes. He hung his head. This day was supposed to be perfect. But he’d fucked it all up.

He let out a sharp huff and swam toward the bluff on the opposite side of the lake. By the time he reached the shore his lungs were burning and his legs were trembling. He pulled himself up onto one of the rocks and shook the water from his hair then clambered up to the tallest peak. He sat down and watched the water lap gently against the rock’s edge.

He tried to collect himself, but his thoughts slipped back to the past couple of weeks. There was no denying he and Eddie had grown closer. At the time, it had seemed harmless to sit with Eddie on the couch during a movie, Eddie’s head in his lap while Steve stroked his hair after a rough day. Now, though, Steve wondered if that had crossed a line beyond friendship.

And when Eddie came down with a migraine a few days later Steve had held his hair as the metal head puked into his trashcan. Steve cleaned that up for him too, without complaints. And then there were the nights they went bar hopping together, in the hopes to get laid but Steve couldn’t peel himself away from Eddie, smiling and teasing him on the dance floor. Heck, Robin had even caught Steve gawking at Eddie when his friend had gotten lucky and strolled out of the bar with some random dude hanging off his arm.

“You okay over there Steve?” Robin had asked.

“Never better.” Steve had lied and waltzed up to the first cute brunette he saw, used his good ol’ Steve Harrington charm, and two hours later he was fucking her into his mattress. He’d rolled off her feeling empty and sad.

And then there was two nights ago when he declared that he and Eddie should go camping. When Eddie had asked who would be coming he told him it would just be the two of them.  Eddie had looked at him differently, his gaze lingering. But it didn’t mean anything.  

Steve had been staring into the shimmering water daydreaming for so long he hardly noticed that the sky had turned to twilight. He let out a long sigh and gazed toward the lake and the glow of the embers burning in their fire. Their tent was dark. Eddie must’ve gone to bed early.

Steve’s heart felt like it was being squeezed so hard he nearly might suffocate. His breath became shallow and tears pricked his eyes.

“Fuck.” He muttered to himself. “Goddamn it.” He swiped his wet eyes.

And it all hit him like an anvil. He liked Eddie.

What the fuck was he running away from?

***

Steve gently opened the flap of the tent. The amber glow from the campfire illuminated the interior of tent enough to see Eddie lying on him side, his arms hugging a pillow. It might seem weird and maybe even a little creepy to be standing there watching his sleep. He knew he’d think the same thing if Eddie did that to him. But it wasn’t weird. It was validation. The way just being in the same space as Eddie seemed to slow the beating of his heart said everything.

He crouched down and crawled closer, careful not to disturb Eddie. He just wanted to maneuver himself to his side of the tent. Steve was in mid-crawl when Eddie startled awake, his deep brown eyes glinting in the pale light.

Steve froze.

Eddie blinked up at him.

“I’m sorry.” Steve whispered.

Eddie’s eyes drifted to Steve’s mouth.

Warmth spread through Steve’s middle and collided with the hammering of his heart.

For a moment, neither of them moved. The tent seemed to hold its breath around them, all canvas shadows and fading firelight, while Steve stayed frozen over Eddie like one wrong word might send him running again. He could still hear the snap of his own voice from earlier, sharp and ugly, and shame tightened around his ribs. Eddie’s hand hovered between them, uncertain, his fingers curling once against the empty air before falling back to the blanket. Steve wanted to apologize better, wanted to explain that fear had made him cruel, that wanting Eddie had scared him more than anything else ever had. But the words jammed in his throat, too big and too late.

Eddie looked at him like he was waiting for the blow to land, like he had already decided Steve would take it all back. That nearly broke him. Steve swallowed hard and let his gaze drop, not to hide this time, but because he couldn’t stand the hurt in Eddie’s face. “I didn’t mean it,” he said, barely louder than the crackle of the fire outside. “Any of it. I was scared.”

Eddie didn’t answer. He only lifted a trembling hand to the back of Steve’s neck, thumb brushing softly at his hairline, and guided him closer until their foreheads touched, their breath mingled, and the space between them finally disappeared in a kiss.

Steve’s thoughts scattered. He had been kissed before, plenty of times, but never like this—never with so much ache, heat, and relief tangled together.

Eddie gradually pulled Steve on top of him causing him to take in a sharp breath.

“This okay?” Eddie breathed.

Steve answered by dipping down and kissing him harder and Eddie smiled against his lips.

“Fuck,” Steve panted. “I’m shaking. Why am I shaking?” It was a weird thing to say but his whole body felt like it was vibrating. Maybe it was all the pent-up feelings and desires finally finding a way out.

Eddie pulled back, his eyes roving Steve’s face so tenderly it made the jock’s throat tight.

“Let’s just slow down, okay Stevie?” Eddie murmured as he wiped a strand of hair away from his face.

Steve frowned and moved his gently bucked his hips forward. He could feel the swell of Eddie under him. The metal head’s eyes widened, and he sucked in his breath.

“But I don’t wanna slow down.” Steve muttered, a sly smile spreading across his lips.

“Shit.” Eddie smirked. “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be a pain in my ass?”

“Interesting choice of words.” Steve chuckled.

Eddie tilted his chin and kissed him sweetly. “We don’t have to rush sweetheart.”

His words made Steve’s heart palpitate.  He rocked his hips against Eddie again. “Are you going to make me beg for it?” He whispered.

Eddie gripped Steve’s hips and pulled him forward. “Maybe.” He grunted.

“Ohhh. Uh.” Steve groaned before colliding their mouths together in a bruising kiss.

Their bodies rocked together. Hands roaming, breaths coalescing.

“Steve fuck.” Eddie moaned, gazing up at Steve, who ground his hip down, lips parted, eyes heavy with desire. His breath hitched once, then twice. He tilted his head up . . .

And a cry filtered out of the tent and sailed over the silvery water and danced up into the night sky.