The Telepath and the Enigma

Again he shrugged, putting his tablet away. “Perhaps. But I’m making things that make people laugh, so I can’t be that much of a waste.”

Ira shrugged. “An amusing twenty minutes of my time doesn’t sound like a waste to me.”

“It’s a stupid photoshop job, mate, and not even that good of one. Not that serious.”

“uM, dO yOu KnOw HoW mUcH mOnEy mY dAdDy bOyFrIeNd sPeNdS hErE???”

“I want to speak to your manager, little man!”

Coz like we was colonised and we dint wanna be England's bitches n I still dun wanna be England's bitch fuck those guys

Fuck yeah, mate

Men who are so unbelievably pretty that you want to make a mess of them, until their hair is tussled, their lips are swollen, their cheeks are flushed with warmth and their gaze is hazy and unfocused.

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

“Yeah, I s’pose,” he sighed. He waved off the offer. “People’re just nosy about it. Like, do your own thing for once, yeah?”

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

“I hope so. Nobody ever talks about the good things. Just the salacious ones.”

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

He immediately sputtered. “That is not—! That is not what happened.” He groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “This is a fucking nightmare.”

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

He winced and lowered his voice. “Look, I had no idea she was married to him, and even if I did, he should’ve kept his mouth shut, alright?”

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

Ira blinked, refocusing. “On what happened... when?”

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

He paused, head tilting. “...That’s not a bad idea. Just make shit up.”

Ira tugged his hat lower over his brow. “Unfortunately. I should get some prosthetics or something.

“It’s not exactly new... The being hounded is though. How’m I supposed to spin that into a positive?”