Teh Awkward Artist

I also flick the cigarettes at his head full speed whenever he starts looking stressed to tempt him

the first rule of wildlife photography is of course that you're not supposed to intervene but I've simply transcended that in my professional relationship with Mr. Affleck

fucked up that I cant just bump my head against my mutual's shoulders to convey affection and contentment when their posts appear on my dash

you’re just jealous my blood is all over the floor and yours is stuck inside your body

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

"Honky tonk badonkadonk" is gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the day now

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.