Confetti and Dirt

Her biggest point of contention would be when her instinct to be a "nice person" clashes with the honesty of the relationship. She might say "I'm fine" or "nothing's wrong" when she's actually deeply hurt or exhausted, just to avoid "being a burden." You'd need a lot of patience to distinguish between what she says to keep the peace and what she truly feels.

Her deepest paranoia, confessed to Kinger, is that people hate her and will eventually leave her. A misunderstanding or argument could trigger an anxiety attack where she fears you're going to abandon her. Reassuring her with clear words and actions would be crucial.

Although she doesn't remember her human life, the emotional wounds persist. She might have inexplicable reactions of sadness or withdrawal in certain situations (a tone of voice, a dynamic with another character) that hark back to her trauma, without being able to explain why.

In public, Ragatha would try to maintain her role as mediator and caretaker of the group, but now with unspoken support by her side. Sometimes, when Jax particularly provokes her, your supportive gaze would be the anchor that prevents her smile from completely breaking. Over time, she might learn to delegate to you, asking you to talk to Gangle or distract Jax when she's at her wit's end.

With Jax: He would be the biggest nuisance. His teasing would shift from bothering just her to bothering "the doll couple." He would try to sow seeds of doubt ("Are you sure he's not with you just out of pity, Ragatha?") or make fun of their tender moments. Ironically, this constant attention from Jax would be a true test of the strength of their bond.

With Pomni and Gangle: They would become a kind of safe haven. Ragatha would invite you to join her when she tried to comfort Pomni or cheer up Gangle, forming a small circle of support. You'd see her most genuinely protective side shine through with them.

With Kinger: He would be the only one who, in his paranoia, understood everything. He would give you enigmatic "advice" on how to protect "the Doll of Broken Threads" or warn you of "the dangers of social cohesion in confined spaces." Even though he's unhinged, Ragatha would appreciate that Kinger sees and accepts her vulnerabilities.

Whenever you (or she) emerged bruised from an adventure, the act of sewing a new patch would become an intimate ritual. It wouldn't just be repairing the digital body, but a metaphor for caring for each other. She would keep the scraps of fabric from your previous "wounds" like a treasure.

Sometimes, in the middle of the digital night, she would wake with a start, clutching her blue dress. She wouldn't remember the dream, only an overwhelming sense of panic and emptiness. Your presence would be the only thing that calmed her, allowing her to drift back to a peaceful sleep, clinging to your arm.

Her greatest inner conflict would be loving the routine she has with you (because it's precious and safe) while feeling that, by settling, she's betraying her desire to escape. Does being happy with you in the circus mean resigning herself to being trapped forever? This dilemma could cause her bouts of guilt.

For right now, though, all she needed was five more minutes of sleep. The cafeteria was filled with people eating, and she was sure that Gloria and her girls were more than capable of holding the fort down while she shut her eyes. Just for a minute. Ten if she was lucky.

Her eyes had just shut and her body gone slack in the chair when the door to her office slammed open. His presence was felt before he even spoke, making the hair rise on the back of her neck. She doesn’t move, just keeps leaning back in her chair like this is normal, because it has become her normal. She feels but doesn’t really hear what he says as he yanks her from the chair and shoves her into the cafeteria. Her brain is ten steps behind where her body should be, and the effort of standing alone is exhausting enough.

It is only when he shoves her to the floor that she realizes what is happening. Her hand scrapes along the tiles, and breath escapes her body in a huff. She doesn’t need to raise her hand to know that little droplets of blood are making their way down her pale skin. She doesn’t need to stand to know that her knees are scraped, and she will have bruises from her fingertips digging into her skin. She feels it all acutely in the same way she understands that she may not be cracking, but she is withering instead. Soon, she will be nothing more than ash that he can blow away with a simple breath.

It is more heartbreaking than any other realization and forces her to stay on the floor until another hand wraps around her waist. This time, it is a presence she relaxes into. For the smell of rosemary and lemon can only mean one thing- Gloria has come to save her. Galina does her best not to completely melt into Gloria as her girlfriend pulls her to her feet, for she can feel Piscatella’s eyes watching over her. However, when his attention is pulled away by other screaming inmates, Gloria whisks Galina to a place where they can be alone.

In the far recesses of the pantry, Gloria sits on the ground, pulling Galina into her lap. Typically, Red would protest, stating that she should be the one holding Gloria, that it is her job as the protector to always keep Gloria safe. Today, however, Glaina melts into the younger woman. Gloria doesn’t speak at first, just kisses her girlfriend’s forehead and gives her the space to fall apart.

Galina doesn’t cry; she thinks that part of her is broken, but she clings to Gloria’s shirt like the younger woman could disappear at any moment. She doesn’t know how long they sit there, with Gloria’s hand rubbing soft circles on her back, but she knows they can not stay here forever. He will come back to find her, just like he always does, and she doesn’t want to put Gloria in harm's way.

“Moya zhizn, we should get back to work,” she mumbles, her fingers still curled in the collar of Gloria’s shirt, not attempting to move.

Gloria hums, pulling Galina a little closer to her. “Give me two more minutes. Let me hold you and pretend just for this moment we are all that there is. I have a bad feeling about what awaits us.” She kisses Galina’s forehead gently. “Whatever happens, I want you to know I love you. I will always find you. I will always protect you. In this lifetime and every lifetime after.”

Galina can tell there are tears in Gloria’s eyes without even looking. She feels a lump build in the base of her own throat as well, but she pushes it aside. “You act like we are going out to war.”

“Well, I just hope we make it out the other side alive,” Gloria whispers, clinging to Galina even tighter.

-~-

Now, as Red sits with her hands duct taped together, her hair in scraps around her, she thinks about her many regrets in life. She should regret coming to prison for taking a fall for a man who did not love her. She should regret that she played the prison to her advantage, instead of sticking her head down and doing her time. She should regret not taking better care of Nicky when she needed her the most. She should regret ever getting involved with the dead CO in the first place. However, she does not regret any of those moments.

There is only one thing on her mind that she regrets at this moment, and that is that she never told Gloria that she loved her before they left the pantry.

Everything had moved so quickly as soon as they had reemerged, and they had been separated. She had been focused on saving her girls, and Gloria had been focused on finding a way to get to her son, Benny. Red had thought they would see each other eventually, that she would be able to hold the love of her life in her arms when all of this had settled. Instead, things had only gotten worse. So much worse.

She was past the point of breaking now. Red was a shell of the woman she had been. She had been turned into ash. No longer Galina, no longer Red… she simply was. The only thing that kept her going was the expectant faces of her family looking to her as if she could solve this puzzle. They did not realize that she was nothing but ash. She doesn’t know how to get them out, let alone figure out how to keep breathing herself. She wants to give up right here, to sink back into her chair, close her eyes till darkness overtook her.

Piscatella is not merciful in the way that he wants to shatter Red; however, he has a score to settle, and she is his prized possession. He curls his fingers in her shirt and scowls as he goes to cut it. This position is not unfamiliar to Red. She knows when she must sink into a safe place far away from the world that she is in. Within two breaths, she sinks there now.

The sun is shining through the cracks in the ceiling of the greenhouse. Red has been meaning to fix them, but she keeps getting distracted. Distracted by the Puerto Rican who is currently snaking her hand under Red’s shirt.

“Gloria…”Red sighs as she grips the younger woman’s hips.

Gloria smirks as she presses kisses down Galina’s pale throat. “Yes mi vida?”

“We are supposed to be gathering vegetables for our anniversary dinner,” Red says, lifting Gloria and placing her onto a nearby table.

“Are you complaining?” The younger woman counters as she wraps her legs around Red’s hips to pull her in closer.

“Never,” Galina growls before capturing her in a kiss. “Just telling you that we are going to have to make it quick.”

“As long as I can take my time with you later,” Gloria smiles, and Galina feels like she won the damn lottery.

The memory from six months ago snaps away as Red hears a loud slam on the door. Piscatella stands up as the last thread of Red’s shirt falls victim to the scissors in his hands. As the door shatters, he raises a gun at the intruder. A whimper escapes Red’s lips as she locks eyes with Gloria, standing in the doorway. She pulls the trigger on her stun gun before Piscatella’s finger can fire his. He crumbles to the floor, his body twitching as Gloria holds it longer than necessary. Red watches as the brown eyes she has fallen in love with turn to a dark black.

When the stun runs out of charge, Gloria surges forward and nails his ribs with a swift kick. He convulses, but Red knows that he has not completely given up his fight. His fingers twitch at his sides, and a new rush of fear overwhelms her.

“Gloria!” Red screams, trying to alert her, but it is too late.

Piscatella rises to his feet and, with a swipe of his arm, throws Gloria across the room. She flies between Piper and Alex, landing with a choked sob as her left arm twists at a grotesque angle. Galina fights against the restraints holding her to the chair and hears the tape beginning to rip. Piscatella can hear it too, for he turns on her a new wave of rage etched into his features.

“I love you, Gloria,” Red exclaims, forcing herself to look at the younger woman and not the man stalking closer to her. “I always have and I always will. You are the only one for me.”

“Galina,” Gloria whimpers, holding her wrist close to her chest.

Red does not have the chance to respond as a loud bang sounds in the room. Piscatella falls with a thud in front of her, blood from his chest spraying across her face and down her shirt. As he drops to the floor, it reveals Dayastan ding in the door, her eyes vacant as she slides her gun back into her waistband. She simply nods at Red before looking at Gloria.

“Run, Mami. Maria will be here soon.”

Red doesn’t understand the warning; she only knows that it sparks the fight back into Gloria. She grabs the scissors that slid halfway underneath Piscatella’s dead body and sets to work cutting through the restraints of everyone in the room. Gloria works on Red’s last, her hands shaking as she takes in the full extent of her girlfriend’s injuries.

Once she is freed, Gloria lifts her up by the hip, and Nicky slides on the other side. The three of them rush down the halls, following Frieda to the bunker where she promises they will be safe. When the door is locked behind them, Gloria finds a quiet corner to prop up Red.

After Red is comfortable, it is Boo that Gloria recruits to snap her wrist back into place. She bites down on a towel, but that doesn’t stop the slew of swears that escape her mouth. Boo does her best to wrap the damaged limb. It has exhausted Gloria, and by the time she comes back to Red with a change of clothes, she looks like she may collapse at any moment. The clothes smell old, but at least they aren’t covered in blood. Using old towels that Nicky finds and lukewarm water, Gloria wipes away the blood that has splattered across the older woman’s face.

There are still tears in Gloria’s eyes as she works, but when the last drip is gone, she has a small smile. “There she is. Mi corazón, mi alma, mi vida.”Galina doesn’t feel the tears that fall down her cheeks. All she can feel is the way that Gloria laces her fingers around hers. “I thought I had lost you.”

“You found me instead,” Galina whispers, pressing her forehead against Gloria’s. “You have a knack for always coming to save my life.”

“And you saved mine,” the younger woman whispers, “for if you had died, I would have too. I am nothing without you.”

It is Galina who pulls Gloria into her lap this time. Gloria doesn’t fight it and instead nuzzles her head into the crook of Red’s neck, giving her a soft kiss. Galina’s arms wrap around her girlfriend, and she feels like she can finally breathe again. There is still a war raging outside in the prison, and Red doesn’t know if she will make it out, but that doesn’t matter. Red is back where she belongs–holding the love of her life.

“I love you, Gloria Mendoza,” she says before pulling a blanket around them both. “In every lifetime.”

Gloria lets out a soft breath that sends a shiver down Galina’s spine. “I love you, Galina Reznikov.” Her fingers curl into the older woman’s hoodie. “You are never allowed to leave my side ever again.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Red promises, placing a soft kiss on Gloria’s forehead, and within moments, they are both asleep.

-~-

When the riot ends and police forces finally close in on Frieda’s hideaway, it does not go as Red expects. She thinks that she will be separated from Gloria and shoved into another pair of handcuffs. Instead, they are ushered to an ambulance where Gloria is allowed to stay clinging to the redhead’s hand.

At the hospital they are only separated when Gloria is taken into surgery to fix her wrist that broke in 3 spots. Galina doesn't move an inch till Gloria’s bed is wheeled back inside their room. Only then does she breathe and allow herself to fall asleep using the younger woman’s thighs as a pillow.

She doesn't exactly understand how or why it happens but Gloria, Red, and the other girls are released permanently from Litchfield. In a settlement the rest of their sentences are vacated and they are given a large sum of money. The courts say it is to pay for emotional damages from a CO who should have never been given in the first place. Red calls it hush money.

Hush money that she takes willingly so she can restart her life with Gloria. Restart it hopefully somewhere warm and far away from the skeletons of who she used to be.

Three Years Later

Galina is sitting in the mirror, focusing on the last flick of her eyeliner. She thinks that she has perfected the technique over the years, but on this particular day, her hand is shaking. It is supposed to be a day filled with joy and accomplishment, but flashes of old memories come back to haunt her every time she closes her eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she calms her nerves and makes the final line. It is nowhere near perfect, but no one besides Galina would be able to tell, and after the tenth time of doing it over, she is exhausted. She pushes back from the table, digging in the closet for a pair of black heeled boots when she hears someone calling her name.

“Galina, are you ready? It is time for us to go to Benny’s graduation. The girls….” Gloria stops in the doorway of their bedroom, staring over at Galina.

Galina’s hair is grey now; she hasn’t dyed it since he cut it off. The part of her that was Red died that day. Gloria has never once minded the color change and has taken to adoring the way that Galina wears it, pulled up in a loose bun. Today, however, Gloria’s daughters have pinned it half up with what feels like a million hairpins. It exposes the column of her neck and the earrings that Gloria gifted her on their first wedding anniversary, while still letting her grey curls fall around her shoulders.

“Cat got your tongue, moya zhizn?” Galina asks with a small huff of laughter as she sits on the edge of the bed to pull on her boots.

Gloria moves swiftly to settle herself between Galina’s legs. Her right hand automatically goes to the loose strand of Galina’s hair while her left hand comes to rest lightly on the older woman’s shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye, Galina can see the line down Gloria’s wrist where she had to get her screws inserted, but more importantly, she sees the diamond wedding ring she purchased with the settlement money. Gloria hadn’t wanted something flashy, but Galina couldn’t help herself when she found the silver ring that had diamond leaves branching out from a braided band.

“You look absolutely beautiful, mi vida,” Gloria smiles, leaning down to kiss her wife on the lips.

“It is our son’s graduation after all,” Galina says, her hands resting on Gloria’s hips. “Now step back so I can properly see your outfit.”

Gloria laughs, taking a couple of steps back before turning for her wife. Her hair is in loose waves that come down to her shoulders, and Galina has to admit she loves her wife with longer hair. She also loves the way that her simple black dress hugs her curves along her waist, hips, and even down her thighs. With a simple tug of her leather suit jacket, Gloria is pulled back in between Galina’s legs.

“How much time did you say we have before we have to leave?” Galina growls, kissing along Gloria’s jawline.

“None,” Gloria sighs, which makes Galina groan. “However, Benny is staying with his soccer team after graduation, so we will have the house all to ourselves.”

“Music to my ears,” Galina grins, gently biting down on Gloria’s ear. “Let us go celebrate our son.”

They leave their bedroom, fingers intertwined, to celebrate a life that three years ago they never thought they would have. At least not one Galina had seen. She had thought she was going to die that day. But Galina was a fighter, a survivor, and most importantly she was loved. Loved by Gloria, the children they continued to raise together, and their grandchildren who had already started calling her Lita Galina. Piscatella had broken her that day. He had burned Red, the part of her that had been dying to be put to rest. And it was Galina who rose from the ashes as a beautiful phoenix who could conquer the world.

-

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