There will be Cringe

i need to choke the life out of you while im hip deep inside you and you're calling me mommy

every time someone realizes they dont have to pick between being a boy or a girl an angel gets its wings btw. and also extremely loud cheering can be heard in the distance from me specifically

@this-is-nonbinary-joy

Id hate to waste the nice weather by masturbating indoors ♡

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

I wanna write things about Lola the VHS rental store employee now.

She's so real to meeee. I just know she gets invited to the barbecues and brings delicious sangria. She doesn't like teens much but she does overlook the age restrictions on horror films for them. She had a high-school crush on a girl who moved out of town and she secretly hopes she comes back for the holidays so they can bump into each other. She plays pool once a week and holds her own against the town dads, but she tries very hard to not learn who is whose husband because the thought distracts her a bit while she plays. Sometimes she hopes one of the moms will turn out to be rich so she can pay her student loans for her - but considering the kind of town she lives in that's unlikely. She has a tattoo of the dog from the Thing and she just tells people it's her dog.

Tired college dropout comes back to her small hometown and starts working the counter at the VHS rental store - she loves all the lonely moms who are insecure about buying the porno tapes from the back of the shop, and they sure love both her recommandations and the breakroom sex on quiet week days.

She runs on caffeine and cigarettes but she's never tense, always gives her advice on which porn tape they should take home in the most matter-of-fact voice. They always start out trying to shyly flirt with her on her smoke break until she puts out her cigarette and says "I have 15 minutes before I open back up, can I give you head in the back?"

Her name is Lola, she's 5'10" and likes to wear platforms, she wears overalls or boiler suits most days with tank tops under them, she keeps her tobacco in a vintage metal box with a faded pin-up on it, she does know how to fix VCR players but she doesn't advertise that fact because she doesn't want to become the town’s repairwoman, she likes the sour candy that comes in long strips and she wears a bunch of rings that she has to take off to finger the MILFs during her breaks.

One of the most heartbreaking things in this world is when a pervertgirl is so tired she can’t even muster up the energy to be horny.