Sitophilia. Gluttony. Oberexia.
I've always gotten a "tingle" deep inside when I've eaten something really good and when I've eaten a lot of food.
Adding food to a sexual encounter, or even when masturbating has always made it better.
Leaning into these feelings over the years has only exacerbated these feelings: they get stronger the more I do them and the fatter I've gotten.
My upbringing always had plentiful food and food for every situation: pleasure, celebration, rewards, sadness.
I've always loved a good buffet. The opportunity to taste different things and flavors is always appealing.
Even when I was skinny, I would eat very big meals.
In college I scared off many boys with how much I would eat on a the date, especially if we were at an all-you-can-eat place.
The fatter I get and the more I eat, the more gluttonous I'm getting.
I snack constantly and I'm always thinking about big meals
I grew up around fatness. I was the runt of the litter, so to speak.
Even in Highschool, many of the girls in my classes were bigger than me, and most were fat.
I longed to be fat. I would try to imagine myself fat. I sometimes would stuff my clothes. I even bought a plus sized dress at a thrift shop and padded it. In college I snuck in a padded character to a variety show I did.
When I finally started gaining weight, as much as I would gain, the plateaus I would hit became more and more frustrating, especially when I got into being a feedee/gainer.
Because my vision of what I should weigh continues to climb, when I see myself, I'm always too small.
I never really feel "fat enough".
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
baratheonpilled
pixelskylines
