teary( ;´ - `;)

hii, my name is teary and i'm 19!! ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

i've had tumblr for a while now, but i want to start blogging and get my thoughts out of my brain !! (∩｡• ᦍ•｡)っ

if you're reading this, thanks for stopping by ! mwa

ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)

i am open to talkin abt anything ! <3

(almost anything)𐔌՞. .՞𐦯

my anxiety is acting up again and i need my thoughts out of my head before i explode.

so my friend is a streamer and they have around 1800 followers. Doing super good for themselves. I cant be more proud. Its literally their dream so its great.

So she has a kofi and throne where u can donate to her and gift her from her wish list. She's been gifted like 12 things in a row at one point. her community loves her and spoils her to no end. I am happy for her. like free stuff is awesome lol. its just.. she's been saving for a pc and has already saved up 1k. She started saving up last month. like people have donated A LOT. Today she just put a pc case on her throne that's 400$.

It was bought immediately. like in 5 minutes. And thats fucking awesome like to have ppl like that, ppl that aupport u and believe in u is great. I just hate this pit i feel in my stomach every time i hear what shes been donated or gifted.

its like jealousy mixed with sadness ig. Like it always happens and i hate it. Ive been wanting my own pc for abt two years now and all the parts are just going to get more expensive. I would love to start content creation and enjoying what i love. But it all feels so daunting when you know you're nowhere close to achieving that goal and ig seeing someone is, it hurts. I love my friend they r the funniest, kindest person in my life right now. I just feel like crying cuz nothing ever goes right with my life.

I'm already stressed abt school which doesn't start til next month and looking for a job has gotten me no where. like i envy the people that just sit and play video games all day and earn money for it. Obviously its not that easy for everyone im not saying it is. It just sucks that i feel this way over my friends success.

the jealousy outweighs the happines. i just dont know what to do anymore. wait for it to go away? im glad someone's dreams are coming true but when will it be my turn y'know.

Anyway thats enough self pity for me today

Everyone is always so busy.

Idk but I've been enjoying myself so far ^⁠_⁠^

I joined a discord server in hopes to make more friends cuz I don't do it often because of anxiety and shit like that and not even a week into the server I learned the owner's bf is a terrible person and the owner just doesn't care?? 😭😭 like girl get up

So left that rq 😵‍💫

Now I'm scared to join another one sigh

I just want friends to play with

I barely get to play with my friends now unfortunately :/

Especially my girl best friend 🥹

It's whatever ig (⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠)

Pic of orihime cuz she's da best and would know exactly what to do 🤞🏽😞 my goat

Genuinely my top 5 favorite re games of all time it was perfect down to so many levels

Can't wait for the dlc !! <3

I'm coming Leon and grace 🥹🥹

I'm literally shaking omg it's downloading

I'm gonna go crazyyyyyy