The saying is true: you CAN have too much of a good thing. And no, you judgmental asses, I don’t mean food. But gains in general.
I was always the small kid, even through my two-year stint in college. If anything, I might have lost weight instead of gaining the dreaded “freshman fifteen,” I think I lost a few pounds. If that was even possible, since I was the scrawniest kid wherever I went. So, I decided to bulk up.
I did it the right way: watched what I ate, took supplements, ate protein and less carbs, combined with working out. After a long time, I felt myself grow stronger. I felt great about myself, seeing the muscle slowly make its way onto my body. That was, until my friend Nick pointed out that I was simply getting toned, and I wasn’t making the progress I was making.
“Use this,” he said, sending an Amazon link to my phone. “My cousin is a wrestler and used this when he wanted to bulk it up. Give it a try.”
The bag was delivered to my house. The black bag with no writing contained a grey powder that smelled putrid. Nick said to mix one scoop with a banana, yogurt and milk. No matter how well I blended it, the mixture always came out like concrete, and probably tasted the same. I would drink it first thing in the morning and would go straight to the gym. After a week, I noticed I was getting bigger with how much I pushed myself. Was this the big break I had been looking for?
I didn’t know exactly how “big” that break would be. Weeks and months passed, and people took notice to my body. Muscles were placed where a thin body used to be, and I was loving it. Pecs, abs, a muscled ass, powerful thighs, huge arms. I even lost my virginity. Then, almost a year after I started using the powder, I noticed something. My workouts lasted just as long, and I pushed myself even harder, but I wasn’t just swoll. I was beginning to get fat.
The change was subtle from day to day, but I was getting fat around the middle. Like I said, it was slow at first and I hardly noticed it. It wasn’t until I was flexing in my bathroom mirror when I noticed the definition was fading from my abs, and I had some bounce in my chest. I decided to start a diet to just lose a few pounds. Well, the few pounds I tried to lose came back with friends and my belly appeared overnight.
I worked harder than I ever thought possible, but the gut came at me with a vengeance of its own. Working on the treadmill or the elliptical would only make that bowl of jelly gut shake and bounce right out of my shirts. As I bent over to pick up weights for arm curls, the belly got in the way. And don’t even ask me about doing pull ups.
Soon, I realized it was no use. Even when I stopped using the powder, the gut still grew daily. My shirts stopped fitting since I couldn’t hide this behemoth of a belly. My arms were huge though, still chiseled with thick and hard muscle, and same with my chest. And while my belly jutted out, so did my muscled ass.
“Oh, I didn’t mention it?” Nick asked with a snicker upon seeing me at our high school reunion. “My cousin is a wrestler. He went form the WWE to sumo in just a few years.” I knocked the fucker out.
I’m still a long way from sumo, but this gut is still growing, round and in charge, with every day that passes. I still lift weights, and hope to soon bench press my weight. Be easy if my weight would stop going up…
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