The Abundance Of Light

That is a name that answers every question about why he's not allowed contact with his daughter, I feel.

The average Tumblr blogger has such poor manners that even a pig would be embarrassed to bring them home to its mother.

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs

The difference in UK politicians is that one is count binface and the other is cunt binface

Deer don’t even get a chance to look in the headlights anymore they just get vaporized by the blinding LED bulbs

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

Vetinari's approach to problem solving in the City Watch series is basically the Gandalf approach where every problem can be solved with a Hobbit (or several) except instead of Hobbits it's Sam Vimes

one thing mash really did nail is the complete chaos of the male living space. i walked into my friend’s college apartment once and two of his roommates were completely hammered and trying to figure out how long it would take them to brew their own beer while the third one was working on his golf swing in the middle of the living room while smoking a cigar. tell me that’s not an opening shot of the swamp

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

I love environmental storytelling

Ita fucking hieroglyphs with you people