Mermaid in disguise

Xoxo,

you deserve love. your crush does not owe you a date.

you deserve success. your coworkers do not owe you extra hours.

you deserve emotional support. your friends do not owe you free therapy.

while having an ED: lord, there are so many foods to eat in the fridge and now my parents are taking me to my favorite restaurants, how am I going to restrain myself?

Sometimes life is about going outside your comfort zone by putting on a swim suit, so you can enjoy a sunny day in a pool.

Sometimes life is about eating late night snacks with the man of your dreams, just because it’s fun.

Sometimes life is gaining weight faster than anticipated because you’re too caught up in living a great life.

Sometimes life is crying over the past, but realizing that you actually needed to change.

Sometimes life is buying new jeans because the old ones simply don’t fit anymore, and that’s ok!

Sometimes life is overeating at a party because there’s so many delicious choices, and it’s hard to hold back.

Sometimes life is staring too long at yourself in a mirror, and accepting that the reflection is not a true definition of who you are as a person.

Sometimes life is more about spending quality time with a person vs blowing them off to obsessively workout at the gym.

Sometimes life is ordering a food that scares you, and admitting that it does taste freaking amazing.

Sometimes life is needing a break from toxic people, and that’s not selfish.

Sometimes life is breaking down over and over again about the same thing, but that’s how you heal from the pain.

Sometimes life is questioning your future, and gaining the courage to make your dreams happen.

Sometimes life is emotional, but you need to ride the wave because you won’t feel that way forever.

Sometimes life is about helping others, but you can’t do that unless you’re steady first.

delete tumblr. delete myfitnesspal. delete any and all calorie tracking apps. go into your kitchen. right now. get up and walk into your kitchen. now make a pot of pasta or spaghetti. or make a salad with chicken or a smoothie. or make a few eggs with some potatoes. or heat up the leftovers in the fridge. don’t count it. don’t measure it. don’t look up the calories. then sit down and eat the whole thing. don’t cut it up small, don’t wait until a certain time, don’t stare at it for forever before you eat it. cook it, put it on a plate, and eat it. maybe scroll through instagram or watch a tv show while you eat. like a post on your explore page about loving pizza without thinking of the calories or feeling fat. when you’re done eating, don’t go to the mirror, don’t go to the scale, don’t go to the toilet to throw up. then go on with your life without thinking about what you just ate or when you’ll eat next. now do that every time you first feel hungry every single day for the rest of your life.

if you can do that, fine. i’ll believe you. you’re “faking it”.