youâre so good at making others feel good. always there when they need you. excellent for a joke or prepared with the right kind of distraction. good at listening. an arm to hold on to.
and you tell yourself itâs just that youâre trying to be a good person, but maybe itâs that you feel good for a second only when you make other people feel good. so you do things like go to their parties you wonât dance at and make them pies you wonât eat and kiss people you donât love and drink things you donât want and tell them advice you wonât follow and laugh, always.
and that makes you feel like a bad person, because sometimes when youâre sitting there, and theyâre raw and spreading, you wonder why they donât see your blood too
and gosh, isnât it selfish when you open your mouth and say the truth: nobody wants that from you. everybody just wants you to listen. and be good. and swallow the knuckles off your pointer fingers and wrap yourself in muslin and follow the river into the deepest parts of the ocean.Â
youâre so good at making others feel good. thereâs always a better rug but youâll lie down for them anyway. thereâs always a better highway but youâre already driving. and who cares that you need help. who cares if youâre dying. itâs all you, and youâre all good, and itâs okay, because you can floor the gas and people will just think youâre unafraid of dying.
but you are unafraid of dying.
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
janainaart
dailybridgerton
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
annaxmalina
prguitarman
gummygunk
