simmer down

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

God everything fucking sucks. If one more thing in my life goes wrong im gonna [Remembers suicide jokes are bad] I'm going to. To. Tooooo Neeeaaaoooowww [Making airplane noises] [Moves my hand around mimicking an airplane] Weeeeeaaaaaaoooooowwwww [Crashes airplane directly into wall and punches my hand through it and breaks all bones in my hand] PSHHHHHH BOOOOOMMMMMM BHAAAAAHHH [Explosion] WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO [Sirens] [Emergency alert] ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR

The dead horse beats me

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

it really is annoying as hell how someone will talk about how poor people can't avoid ethically dubious products because of how being poor works and then someone with a two story house in the suburbs will take that to mean they can order harry potter books through a drone delivery from amazon and if you criticize that you're a bigot

Oh boy, a complex character who's a woman! I love messy characters who hurt everyone around them and continue the cycles that hurt them!! Can't wait to share this joy with fellow fans– why's everyone calling her a bitch

People are like “it’s so beautiful no clouds at all” it could use a little clouds if I had to be honest.

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app