Adult Content

Joel is warmth.

Warmth in your heart. Warmth on your cheeks. Warmth in your tummy. Warmth between your legs.

Every molecule in your body seems to be on fire. Every thought that crosses your mind. Because everything inside you melts, loses its shape to merge with his, bends and transforms to welcome him.

What Joel radiates isn’t just sensual heat, driven by impulses, by desire, by the mere sight of his features that seem drawn by a painter and sculpted by Michelangelo’s hand.

It’s not just that. It’s the way he makes you feel.

Safe.

In a nest where nothing bad can happen. Where you can let your guard down, lick your wounds, and show your vulnerability. It’s the warmth of a home you’ve chosen to live in together; it’s the comfort of a fireplace he installed just because you asked him to; it’s the dark, warm wood he used to build your bed. Solid, sturdy, reliable wood. Just like him.

Joel is like that. His love is all-encompassing, it knows no lukewarmness, no cold, nothing but burning fire, life, a heart beating fast, a broken voice, trembling legs, your bitten lips, your parched throat, hot tears streaming down your cheeks, and stammered pleas as he lies on top of you.

And God, feeling him embrace you from behind, steady and ardent, warming you on Jackson’s dark, freezing nights, gives you a sense of security that nothing has ever given you before. You can’t fall as long as he holds you tight. No scraped knees on the ice, no bruises, no cuts.

The effort you put in, the losses you faced, and everything you’ve been through have led you to him, where the feisty, ever-alert person you forced yourself to be can finally relax and let go.

The feeling of his skin, mostly covered by just a pair of boxers, on yours is more than just a turn-on.

And not only you he make room for his warmth. He welcomed your cold. He extinguished his own.

He put out the fury, the raging fire and left the warmth.

And it's a wonderful accord, your skins colliding, your lips seeking each other, your hands intertwining. And everything is calm in the urgency of having him. Everything is possible, exciting, alluring.

It is orange and pink like a sunset, silent and quiet like a sunrise.

It's as reassuring as his crooked smile and the little dimple that appears on his cheek. It's captivating like his eyes, which observe and study every inch of you, it's as steady and sure as his hands, which hold you grounded.

It's a pleasant tingling sensation, like his beard tickling your neck when he kisses you, like when you wrap your hand around the nape of his neck and encounter those little, soft curls at the base.

It's imperfect but as real and precious as every mark you carry, the softness of his belly, the wrinkles, the rough knuckles, the calluses, the marks of every time you both survived and fought to hold on to something that ultimately led you here.

Together you are understanding, patience, acceptance, trust, a warm breath of life that has lifted both of you out of misery and loneliness.

When you fall asleep next to Joel, you feel nothing but warmth. His skin, his flesh, blood flowing through his veins. Feeling him wrap you in sleep, one of his arm draped around your waist, the other one caressing your hair, his lips kissing the crown of your head, is like something primal and wonderful where you can truly feel that you no longer need any armor, as if those “no’s” you always say could only turn into “yes.” As if all the “I can’t”s you murmur to yourself had no choice but to become “I can do it.”

The 40 year old virgin

Hopper/Miller

if you lived here you'd be home now

Happy Campers

The perfect girl

The girlfriend experience

The sleepover

In hell i'll be in good company

something worse than a woman

The velvet crown - LA

Rare

Alter Egos

Mistress

Adult Programming

Corruption

Bittersweet Symphony

Score to Settle

Kitten

Heartstrings

Never meet your heroes

Huntsville

High school musical

Blue collar/white collar

The fidelity test

Astrophile

Guy-Crazy

and when i touched her skin my fingers ran with blood

i've left out a couple that are near completion but i've already posted them anyway.

the only one - husband!Joel x wife!reader

lights on - Jackson!Joel x curvy!f!reader

Something in the water - Jackson!Joel x f!reader

safe with you - sub!Harry x curvy!mistress!reader

Dreams are made of this - Jackson!Joel x f!reader

out of my control - Dave York x f!reader x Carol York

Tommy talks a mile a minute on the way to your new home. He points out different land marks, which way to the dining hall, which way to the stables and the market. You don’t bother trying to take it all in because you know you’ll be too scared to go anywhere without Joel and he already knows all this stuff.

The house Tommy takes you to is a similar style to the one you just left, although it looks little melancholy and bare without the window boxes full of flowers. You wonder idly if Joel will let you have some.

You dutifully follow Joel up the steps into the house, your hand still held tight in his. It’s as Tommy is running through where everything is you realise how exhausted you are. Between the fear, the adrenaline, the long journey and the pregnancy you feel ready to collapse. You sag against Joel as Tommy is telling you that you’ve missed the lunch service in the dining hall but he’ll have someone stop by with some food.

“Woah there darlin’,” Joel says as he feels you leaning on him, “you ok?” He turns to you, cupping your face in his hands and making you look at him. He’s worried, you can see it on his face. Tommy is too as he hovers nearby, taking your arm to offer more support.

“M’okay,” you mumble, “just tired.”

“Here, why don’t you lie down on the couch and have a nap while I go and get us some essentials ok?”

You whimper as Joel guides you to the sofa, “don’t leave me here,” you sniffle, clutching at his arms. Joel has to suppress a smirk as he sees the way Tommy is giving you a soft smile. You’ve already won him over. That’s good, having Tommy on board will make the next steps easier. And hopefully he will keep Maria in check.

“I won’t be long baby, I promise, we’ll lock the door and you’ll be safe ok?”

You’re shaking your head and clinging to him. You know this is dangerous territory, you’ve been punished for this behaviour before but you’re so scared it’s overriding the rational side of your brain.

It’s Tommy that comes to your rescue before Joel loses his temper with you.

“Why don’t you stay here with her, give me a list of what you need and I’ll get it sorted.”

“You sure? Don’t want to put you out.”

“I’m sure. It’s the least I can do.” Tommy flashes Joel a guilty look and he knows this is his way of apologising for thinking that Joel hurt you. If only he knew how right he’d been.

“Ok, thanks Tommy,” Joel turns back to you, “go on and lie down, I’m just gona be out on the porch givin’ Tommy a list of things we need and then I’ll be right back in ok?”

“Ok,” you whisper, allowing Joel to guide you into lying down. There’s no blankets in here so he takes off his coat and drapes it over you and gives you a kiss on your forehead before following Tommy out onto the porch.

“Ok, hit me, what do you need?” Tommy asks.l

“Need some new clothes, for her especially, she’s been havin’ to wear my old sweats and t-shirts since she outgrew all her things. Some food, maybe some throws for in the living room, if she needs to lay down I don’t want her gettin’ cold.”

Tommy nods along making a mental note, “anything else?”

“She’ll need to see the doctor, make sure everythin’s ok,” Joel’s voice catches, he doesn’t want to even contemplate that anything could be wrong with his little miracle. Tommy nods knowingly and gives Joel’s arm a pat.

“I’m sure the doc will be able to clear a spot to see her. Why don’t we wait until the mornin’ though, let you two get some rest?”

Joel nods, you’ve been through enough for today.

“There’s one more thing Tommy,” Joel says, putting on a show of being a little nervous. He does’t really think it’s necessary given how bad Tommy feels about earlier but he wants to make sure he’s removed all trace of doubt from Tommy’s mind. “Can you speak to the preacher, about us gettin’ wed?” He nods towards where you’re currently laid out on the sofa as if Tommy will be in any doubt who the ‘us’ entails.

Tommy puffs his cheeks out with his exhale and his hand rubs at his neck.

“Married huh? S’a big step.”

“Bigger than havin’ a kid together?” Joel asks jokingly.

“Fair point. Just din’t have you pegged as the marryin’ kind. Never thought I’d see the day that’s all.”

“Me either if I’m bein’ honest,” Joel admits, “but, I want to do right by her. I got her into this mess and I ain’t gona abandon her to be judged and looked down of because of it. If we’re married, it quiets some of the noise.”

Tommy just nods. He knows he can’t argue against people judging when he and Maria did just that not half an hour ago.

“This what she wants too?” he asks.

“I’ll talk to her about it later, if she says no then we can leave it but if she says yes I want it done as soon as possible.” Joel knows it will be happening though, because you’re not really getting a choice.

“I’ll talk to the pastor. See if he can fit you in after the doc.”

Joel heaves a relieved sigh. “Thanks Tommy, I appreciate it.”

“Go get some rest, I’ll call in later with your stuff.”

When Joel comes back in your head pops up over the sofa and you make a terrified little squeak that he finds absolutely adorable. He wants to ravage you right then and there but you’re exhausted and overwhelmed and if he’s being honest, he could do with a nap as well. And now he has all the time in the world to fuck you stupid so there’s no need to rush. So he walks round the sofa and lies down next to you, cuddling in close.

“Go to sleep baby, m’here.” You cuddle up against him and you’re both asleep in seconds.

You’re awoken a couple of hours later by a gentle knocking on the front door. Joel grunts as he clambers to his feet, his body moving awkwardly as his body adjusts to suddenly being awake. He throws open the door with more force than he’s intending and grunts again when he sees Tommy, arms laden with goods for you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” Tommy grins coming in and wandering through to the kitchen to dump everything on the counter. It’s clearly not the first time he’s seen Joel in this discombobulated state.

You’re fairing a little better than Joel, having already been stirring when Tommy knocked instead of being pulled from a deep sleep. You wander into the kitchen after Tommy yawning and rubbing your eyes but with a lot more grace than Joel stumbled to the door with.

Tommy has already started unpacking food and filling up the refrigerator and pantry.

“Brought you some sandwiches, thought you’d want something quick and easy for now, and there’s some stew in the fridge for later, just needs to be heated up.”

Joel rummages through the pile of items on the counter until he finds the two wrapped sandwiches, passing one to you and ripping his open and chowing down immediately. You follow suit, only just realising how hollow you feel from hunger. Joel has kept you fed as well as he could on the road but it’s so good to have something other than meat, dried or otherwise. You actually groan as you take your first bite. You can’t believe how thrilled you are with a simple sandwich.

Tommy’s running through an inventory of all the things he’s brought, new clothes, blankets, wood and kindling for your log burner, towels, but its the shampoo and soap that really get your attention.

“Proper soap!” you exclaim, immediately getting embarrassed at how excited you are by it. Tommy just chuckles.

“Sorry, just been a while since I was properly clean,” you mumble, remembering all the times Joel made you bathe in rivers with your clothes on because he didn’t want you to be caught in a situation where you were ambushed while naked.

“S’alright darlin’, why don’t you run on up and get showered and I’ll finish up with Tommy?”

“Really?” you ask Joel, it feels rude to skip out while you have a visitor but you can’t wait to strip out of your manky traveling clothes and scrub all the accumulated dirt and grime off your skin.

“Really, go on, I’ll be up in a bit,” he pulls you in and gives you a quick kiss before you gather up the soap, shampoo and towels and head for the bathroom. Just before you leave the kitchen, you remember your manners.

“Thank you for all this Tommy.” He nods at you and you turn and leave them to it. As soon as you’re in the bathroom, you start to strip, the old t shirt and sweatpants you’d borrowed from Joel dropped to the floor in a heap. Laundry was definitely a problem for tomorrow.

You’d had to stop wearing bra’s when your boobs started getting bigger so you’re left just in your panties. And the panties in question were old and worn, they had several holes and the elastic was hanging on for dear life. There was no saving them, you threw them straight in the trash. You were sure that if there was no underwear in the pile of new clothes downstairs you could ask Joel to get you some. Although come to think of it, he may prefer you to go without.

You hadn’t really thought much of what your life would be like once you reached Jackson. One thing you could hazard a guess about was that you’d be getting fucked. A lot. There would almost certainly be new rules for you to follow. You would have to try extra hard to be good for him. Not that he would hurt you while you were pregnant. But you didn’t want a store of punishments waiting for you as soon as you gave birth.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as you hear the front door opening. Joel must be seeing Tommy out. You turn on the shower and dive straight in, shivering as the cold water hits you. You grab the soap and start lathering up your body, wanting to get out of the frigid water as soon as you can.

You let out a surprised “oh!” as you feel the water start to warm up. It feels incredible. Even in the QZ the best you could hope for was lukewarm. You feel the warm water spilling over you and you feel your body start to unknot. You’ve never felt anything like it and you can’t stop the moan that spills out of you.

“Now that is a beautiful noise.”

You let out a surprised squeak and almost jump out of your skin. For such a big man, Joel can be surprisingly stealthy. He just chuckles and starts undressing, leaving his clothes in a pile with yours.

You turn to face him as he does, his attention on removing his socks.

“The water is warm, it’s so nice!” you tell him in an awed voice. He laughs again, the sound is deep and joyful and for a moment you revel in it. Happy Joel is safe. But as he looks up you see his face change. The smile drops and his expression darkens. You run through everything in your head, trying to remember if you’ve done anything bad, trying to work out what could have upset him and whether you’re going to be in trouble for it.

After a moment of panic though you spot that his attention is fully on your belly. You’re almost 6 months along now, and the swell of it is undeniable. But you’re at a loss as to why it suddenly has Joel transfixed. It’s not like he didn’t know you were showing. You’d been together the whole time since you found out you were pregnant. But as he starts stalking towards you, you realise that you hadn’t been naked with him the entire time you were traveling. And it was one thing to know you were showing and another for him to see it fully for the first time.

By the time he reaches you his cock is at full mast. You know what comes now. You’re about to get fucked for the first time in your new home. The intensity on Joel’s face is scaring you but you know any resistance will be bad for you. You force your body to relax, taking some deep breaths as the water continues to flow over you.

His hands reach out and cradle your bump as he steps into the shower. His touch is so gentle in comparison to the way his eyes are devouring you. Before you know what’s happening his hand moves lightning quick and wraps around your wrist. He drags you from the shower and pulls you into the bedroom, your wet feet slipping on the polished hardwood floor. With a growl he picks you up and lies you on the bed, still absolutely soaking from the shower. You almost protest, not wanting to get the bed wet but you catch yourself before you do something foolish. Instead you part your legs for him to crawl between and he mutters a “good girl,” under his breath. It makes your pussy clench and you start to relax more. He’s not going to hurt you. It’ll feel good, you just need to relax.

His hands are back on your belly, gently caressing it as he kneels between your legs. He leans down and starts to press soft kisses all over it. It actually feels nice. You bring your hand up play with his hair. You know he likes it, and as always it pulls a satisfied groan from him.

He kneels back now, drinking in the sight of you below him but his hands remain on your belly like he can’t bear to be parted from it.

“Look at you,” he says, a hint of wonder in his voice. “So fuckin’ pretty, growin’ my baby.” His eyes almost bulge out of his head as he feels the baby move inside you. “Did you feel that baby,” he looks at you with such excitement that for a moment you forget everything that has come before, right now, for this one moment Joel isn’t your captor, your rapist, your keeper. He is just the father of your baby.

You give him a smile, “I felt it,” you rest your hand over his, “I’ve never felt a movement like that before.” You wish you could bottle the look of joy that spreads over his face when you tell him that. You wish you could forever stay in this perfect little bubble. But the excited twitch of Joel’s cock breaks the spell.

He lurches forward, leaning over your protruding stomach to kiss you fiercely. He moans into your mouth as he invades it with his tongue. He’s desperate now, you can tell by the way his tongue dominates your mouth.

He pushes back up with a grunt. “You were such a good girl for me today, remembered all your answers, did such a good job.” He starts shuffling back on the bed, until he’s lying with his head resting on your thigh. His hand idly starts stroking through your folds bringing a whimper out of you. It’s been months since he’s touched you like this. With tenderness and care. You’ve missed it more than you’d care to admit.

“Think you need a little reward for bein’ good. Would you like that baby?”

“Yes! Please Joel!”

He kisses over your mound and buries his face in your still damp curls, inhaling deeply, “smell so good baby,” he groans before he’s spreading your lips apart so he can admire you fully.

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy I ever saw baby.” He licks from your hole to your clit, “prettiest,” he licks you again, “tastiest,” and again, “tightest.” He plunges his tongue into you and you gasp in surprise. He fucks you with his tongue, slow and steady, spearing his tongue into you, then flattening it and running it in circles inside you before retreating and repeating. It’s slow and sensuous and maddening. He’s never taken you like this. He’s eaten you out before but always with a goal of getting you wet enough to take him. This is all for you. Your prize for following his orders.

You moan as his thumb finds your clit, rubbing in circles in time with the circles of his tongue inside you. Your hips start to grind down into his face of their own accord. His other hand rest casually by your navel. You can’t see him over your tummy and you find yourself sad that you can’t. You wish you could look into his eyes as he does this for you. Instead you settle for resting your hand over his on your belly. He immediately interlaces your fingers, giving you the connection you were craving.

He starts to increase his pace with his tongue and his thumb. You feel the pressure building in your core, a string of moans, gasps and whines escape your throat as it builds and builds. You feel the bed rocking beneath you and with a shock you realise that Joel must be humping the mattress. He’s enjoying this you think abstractly. And for reasons you don’t understand, that thought sends a wave of arousal over you and your hips buck into his face, pushing his tongue even further into you. You feel rather than hear him growl into your pussy the added vibrations snapping the tension within you. Your back arches off the bed as your thighs twitch and tremble. The pleasure radiates outwards from your pussy all through your body, like cracks spreading on an ice covered lake. Your ears ring and your vision blurs and you don’t think you’ve ever felt that good in your life. It puts all the other orgasms Joel has wrenched from you to shame.

You gasp for air as you come down, your brain feeling scrambled from the intensity. It’s only as you feel the insistent pressure of Joel’s cock at your entrance that you feel your consciousness snap back into place.

“There’s my girl,” Joel groans, voice thick with affection as he realises you’re back in the room. He’s on his knees at your centre, your legs hooked over his arms and your hips raised slightly off the bed as he slowly pushes himself into you. “So fuckin’ tight for me baby, God I’ve missed havin’ you like this.”

He bottoms out with a ragged moan, his head tipped back in ecstasy. He sits for a minute, trying to get a hold of himself before he comes just from pushing into you. You feel so fucking good he’s about to lose his mind.

He brings his head back up, eyes open and looks you in the eye as he starts to move, slowly at first, savouring the feel of you around his cock now that he doesn’t need to rush.

“Jesus baby, you feel like fuckin’ heaven. So warm and wet for me, huggin’ me so tight.” He keeps pumping into you, using his grip on your legs to pull you into his thrusts. His eyes roam down over you. Your tits are bigger than the last time he saw them. Swollen and full. Your nipples look bigger too but he’s not sure if that’s just his imagination. Either way he loves watching your tits bounce with every movement.

He tears his eyes away from them to look at your belly. So round and perfect. It’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. He has half a mind to order to walk around the house fully naked at all times, just so he can see the masterpiece he’s made of your body.

He speeds up now, he can tell you’re feeling good by the way your pussy is rippling around him. His balls slap against your ass harder now as his movements become rougher, with a wet thwack as they get soaked in the slick that’s leaking from your pussy.

“Takin’ me so good baby, like this pussy was made for me.”

You cry out as he leans further forward, burying his cock even deeper and hitting all the sensitive spots inside you. He can feel how close you are.

“Play with those tits for me baby, got my hands full at the minute,” he jokes as he starts to really pound you. You do as you’re told and start to fondle your breasts.

“Fuck that’s hot! Pinch those nipples baby, just like I would, yeah that’s it, good girl.” You shatter. Completely falling apart on his cock. You wail, your back arches off the bed once more and you feel Joel’s seed spilling into you in warm pulses.

“Fuck! Yeah!’ he grunts as he finally stills.

He pulls out and you feel the rush of him spilling out of you onto the already soaked sheets. You won’t be able to sleep in this bed tonight, you’ve surely soaked through to the mattress.

He pulls you up off the bed and back into the shower where he thoroughly washes you and himself. Then he pulls you into him, your beck to his chest and cradles your belly, letting the warm water cascade over you as he knows you like it. He kisses your neck and hums contentedly every time he feels the baby move.

“Got an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning, 9 o’clock clock.”

He feels you stiffen, “it’s nothin’ to worry about, she just wants to check you over and make sure everythin’s ok. I’ll be there with you, ain’t nothin’ to worry about.”

“Ok,” you whisper, slightly relieved that Joel will be with you. You’ve never seen a doctor before. It was always a luxury you couldn’t afford in the QZ.

“And then after that, we’re goin’ to see the Pastor and he’s goin’ to marry us.”

“Marry us?!”

“Mmm that’s right. You, me and the baby, we’re gona be a proper family. No one will be able to take you away from me then.”

“I’ll be yours forever?” you ask, not knowing what else to say. You know this isn’t optional.

“Yep, forever. Don’t that sound nice?”

You know there’s only one right answer. “Yes. I love you Joel.” You don’t. You do care about him in a complicated way but it’s not love. But you know you’ve said the right thing when he groans and turns your head towards him so he can kiss you on the lips.

“I love you too darlin’. And if you’re a good girl for me tomorrow, I’ll give you another reward,” he tells you and you have to bite your lip to stop from moaning and your thighs involuntarily clamp together. He just chuckles and bends you over, ready for another round.

The next day, you get the all clear at the doctor before Joel rushes you to the little chapel in the centre of town. When you arrive Tommy and Maria are already there. Tommy looks happy, smiling at you and Joel as you enter. Maria looks like she just swallowed a lemon. You’re not sure why she rubs you the wrong way as she absolutely has the measure of Joel but you can’t help the animosity you feel towards her. You ham up your happiness at your nuptials just to piss her off. You think you may have even taken it too far with your breathy “I do’s,” and flirty looks at Joel but when he gets you home he eats you out three times. Your body is a quivering mess of pleasure by the time he fucks you and you’re so far gone from your orgasms that you don’t even come back to yourself until after he’s finished.

As expected, you’re given a new set of rules to abide by and make Joel happy.

Firstly, you are to be naked and waiting on the bed for him every day at 12:30 when he’s working so he can come home and fuck you on his lunch break.

You are allowed to leave the house twice a week without Joel. Each excursion will be agreed with Joel ahead of time and you will report back to Joel every person that you interacted with and what was said. If anyone asks who you are, your first response is always, Joel Miller’s wife, followed by your name.

What Joel says goes, no talking back, no arguments and no disagreeing with him, not in private but especially not in public.

And finally, your pussy is open to him at all times. If he wants you, he can have you, no exceptions.

In all honesty you didn’t mind the rules. You knew you were going to be getting fucked no matter what and having you whenever he liked was not a new rule. Nor was not arguing back, you’d learned that one for self preservation a long time ago. Having a little bit of predictability with your lunch time seeing to wasn’t unwelcome and it helped break up your day. And you didn’t really like being out without Joel. You felt exposed and nervous. You found you couldn’t trust anyone you spoke to, always waiting for them to reveal themselves to be a monster. You went out twice a week as instructed or Joel said Maria would be on his case thinking he’d locked you away. You would walk to the market and buy something from a different stall each time before power walking back home, trying to avoid as many people as possible. The rest of the time you kept busy cleaning and organising the house ready for the baby.

On one of these trips out you were cornered by a young man. He looked around your age. He kept trying to talk to you, blocking your path when you tried to leave, even after you told him you were married.

“Your husband’s pretty old though right, won’t be long til you’re back on the market,” he’d said with a cocky wink. Your stomach roiled, a mixture of fear at being harassed by a stranger and despair that this might become commonplace if you were to lose Joel. You didn’t hold back. You vomited all over him, aiming directly for his chest instead of turning away. You made your escape while he cursed and retched himself.

Joel had found you on the floor of the bathroom, crying, huddled in the fetal position. His eyes had darkened as you told him what had happened.

That night he took you to the dining hall for dinner, despite your protests which earned you a mark for punishment once the baby was born.

“That him honey?” Joel asked of the man currently glaring at you from across the hall. You have a small nod and fought back tears. Joel had just nodded and went back to his dinner.

Two days later that man was dead. Found hanging from one of the beams in the stable. No note was found but it was quickly ruled a suicide. You knew differently though.

“You see the things I do for you?” Joel groaned in your ear as he pumped into you from behind. Your back was held tight against his chest, his arms wrapped around you, one hand squeezing at your tit, the other cradling your ever growing bump. “I’ll always keep you safe baby, no one messes with my girl.”

You clamped down on his cock at his words, his admission that he’d killed for you. Try as you might you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad about it and instead concentrated on the pleasure building in your core.

///

As the weeks went on Joel got more and more obsessed with your belly, making you walk around in just your bra whenever he was home so he could look at, touch, kiss your belly whenever he wanted. And every night he would lay his head on it and talk to the baby, tell them how much he loved them, how he couldn’t wait to meet them. You felt a pang in your chest whenever he did it.

When you went into labour Joel stayed with you, holding your hands and guiding your breathing and telling what a good job you were doing, how proud of you he was. And when she finally arrived, screaming blue murder, you sank into his body and let him love on you, kiss you and hold you and tell you how much he loved you. And when your daughter was placed in your arms you felt your heart swell so much it felt like it would burst out of your chest. You’d never known love like it. You held her in your arms and Joel held you in his and you both wept with relief that she was here and she was safe and perfect.

Your adjustment to parenthood was not easy, you were exhausted and overwhelmed and always on the verge of tears. Not helped by the fact that whenever the baby was sleeping Joel forced you to your knees.

But when it came to looking after your daughter he became your rock. He’d already been a parent, knew what he was doing and was more than willing to to help you learn. It never felt forced or condescending, he was so natural with her. And every time he looked at her you could see his devotion etched all over his face. He looked at you like that sometimes now too. And watching him walk around shirtless with your tiny baby nestled into his chest made your nether regions tingle.

As you predicted, your daughter had become the centre of Joel’s world. One of his favourite things to do is sit with you while you breastfeed. His back against the headboard, you between his legs, her latched to your breast as she suckles. You can never help but stare at her, this tiny creature that you made.

“She’s so perfect Joel, I love her so much,” you whisper, your finger tracing her chubby little cheek as she feeds.

Joel hums into your neck, kissing you a couple of times. “I know baby, I do too. As soon as the doc gives us the go ahead, I’m gona put another one in you.”

His hand squeezes over your womb as he says it. You know that once upon a time that would have sounded like a threat. But looking down at your perfect girl, you find you wouldn’t mind that at all.

///