consciousness of desire

Ruination

just want to get folded in half by dads

had a dream that i became the favorite toy of a secret club of sadists who were all middle-aged men. they had rented out a hotel for a big get-together & they had me blindfolded and on display on my knees. throughout the evening, i was led around to different rooms to be used & hurt in different ways. afterward, i smoked outside the hotel with one guy who had taken a particular liking to me & he showed me videos of me that everyone had posted online while i was blindfolded. he kept teasing me & grabbing me by the throat while i whined that someone was gonna see

had a sex dream about a coworker of mine last night, which means I'm hitting the point of having a crush that makes me want to kill myself

i knew i was fucked within the year i started working with this guy cuz he started telling me "funny" stories about masochist girls he hooked up with off tumblr & i realized that we were probably very sexually compatible. like he'd be like "oh yeah one time i drove out to the midwest in a coke-fuelled sexual frenzy to waterboard this girl in her bathtub" & I'd have to come up with something to say that wasn't just drooling & shuddering

but anyway in the dream we went to a show together & hooked up in his car. then we went back into the venue & his girlfriend was there but i wasn't sure if she knew what happened or not. cheating is hot gdi

had a sex dream about a coworker of mine last night, which means I'm hitting the point of having a crush that makes me want to kill myself

i knew i was fucked within the year i started working with this guy cuz he started telling me "funny" stories about masochist girls he hooked up with off tumblr & i realized that we were probably very sexually compatible. like he'd be like "oh yeah one time i drove out to the midwest in a coke-fuelled sexual frenzy to waterboard this girl in her bathtub" & I'd have to come up with something to say that wasn't just drooling & shuddering