WASTED

We cannot speak to something else besides human. So consider me happy that i want to have a chat with something that’s not human. I will literally just do it only in the night, where i get so many things to catch up. Like the skies, the trees and sometime lately its the water drops from sky, magical rains. So i’m loving it right now and on.

I’m writing this outside my dream box, because actually I’m not living there anymore. I don’t really know how to say it, but rather than calling it reaching the dream i would just say that I don’t have to dream anymore, at least for a while. Do i try to say that i’m now stopping to dream? I’m not sure, but the way i live my life for the present is like i live my life from the future, and i move my past body by controlling it with a tool. I’m just happy, and its enough.

So, hello from the other side.

The formula about life can be simply placed into these; the goodness is close to the good in person or attitudes. A magnet that draws to the metalic is the metaphor that naturally someone's nice is brought together with the other nice by you know who He is.

One realistic thing about the day that I adore the most is the truth that it makes most of my vision seems realistic. I'm able to see the trees and its green, the wide blue sky and in some places we might see clearly through underwater. Everything appears as its appeared without ways to hide things away. And even I can find myself fall into my deep sight, feel enchanted by someone. That's when in the day the beauty of beautiful things will be seen wonderful and i enjoy it as much as i don't in a sudden fall in love to somebody.

This one simply declares that in the day i see somebody who is wonderful and in unpredictable amount of time, can be sudden i fall for him. That, literally telling that in a broad day light i might find myself fall for several time. But lucky, i always find way to stand up and it is not because someone hands me rope.

Spontaneous or first that comes up in mind and succeed to be spit out is the most honest.

Well, before the dawn came there this would be in between it and the dusk. I need more time to figure out how i write oppositely like the one is elaborating about how i love myself spending time in the night and the other one is describing of how i’m more into doing stuff in the night rather than in the day. Though, i can sum it up in one single note that describes it both all at once and its clear of why and how it could be. But yeah, its me. I’m enjoying to create something that’s blown up and going to blow me as well in the future. Sometime i blow myself away like when in one certain time i take a look at stuffs that i have had done in the past and my mind would be like “oh, am i really doing this? or making this up too well?”.

I’m so terrible at taking care of goods that i own, sometime. I’m afraid to have one good person to be with me and i decide to ask for him to be mine and when it said yes, Yes, my afraid is officially begun.

I’m the best in flying my mind back to the past, all the time. I’m tired to have so many memories of my old times are keep coming back and forth to the condition of now. When i’m sitting doing nothing and seeing something that’s actually blind on everything, that’s when i travel back in time and it’s so addictive.

In order to overcome fear, sometime it is necessary to always feel fear. To be scared of being scared and try to never leave the word that everything is safe. Its more going to be a never stop anticipating, of fear and scars.

I live the same as all of you, in the day and night then i wonder can i play favorite? i would to choose one of them and stay on it for a little more or forever. Then i have to choose the night. Its not strange anymore that whenever night comes in, the earth rolls around, the sun sinks and down below then there it goes the dark ruling. The most thing about night and its dark that i like is that it hides things. We might see the tower climbing up the sky clearly in the day, it remains only as a blink of a little spot of light on the top of it and can barely see the structure that actually build it up.

This does not a declaration that i hate the day, but to be honest the day feels like its draining me. Maybe the sun shines too bright? to whom do we complain about it? is it even ok to complain about such sun bright things? it is too much of me who can not enjoy the day that i spend lately is not the day that i do what i do and be sweaty. I forgive myself to it because i try to be a forgiving kind of creature like i always forgive the sun who sometime shines way too bright.

Halo, aku tahu siapa aku dan siapa kamu. Diantara hal-hal kecil yang menjadikan seperti apa kamu alangkah tidak biasanya di mataku, yang sejak pertama kamu mengambil banyak sekali ruang di dalam fikiranku dari saat itu aku tak bisa memusnahkan kecanduan ini. Kamu mungkin tak akan pernah mengerti, karena kamu hanya perlu menjadi kamu tanpa harus berusaha berbuat banyak hal untuk membuat aku merasa terperangkap dan terjatuh kedalam betapa mengikatnya kamu dalam satu kondisi.

Hujan, aku dan kamu dalam kondisi itu adalah yang tak terbayangkan kecuali menggetarkan jiwa dan sebagian dari pada titik fokus penglihatanku memudar. Entah, hujan dan kamu seperti sebuah hal yang mengakibatkan aku menjadi sangat ingin diam. Mungkin disaat itulah aku bisa dengan jelas melihat apa yang sebenarnya menjebatani aku dan kamu dan bahkan ketika jauh pun hujanlah yang selalu membawa kamu dan aromamu kembali merasuk memenuhi aula fikiranku.

Mimpi, aku mengerti bahwa mimpi adalah satu-satunya hal yang membuat aku dan kamu tidak bisa untuk selamanya saling mengisi. Untuk sekarang, aku pun sungguh tiada upaya bagaimana mimpi sekalipun bisa menjadi jurang terdalam dan terjauh yang memisahkan aku dibagian selatan dan kamu dibagian utara. Aku akan berusaha lebih pintar untuk mengejarnya.