just had a really good orgasm on the couch. God i love living alone
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@tangerinesunbeam
just had a really good orgasm on the couch. God i love living alone

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conçois feels like a distant memory at this point like i sincerely hope he was fucking that old— [remembers some of my mutuals are around françois' age] Age appropriate— [remembers there's nothing wrong with the natural process of aging] old man
iemanjá: winy fabiano by márvila araújo
england argentina first half
more hudcon hollanov-ing for the world to see

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i let the ants swarm my bowl of fruit remains at lunch today and i hope they were absolutely lost in the sauce
.
his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor
not listening to one direction for a while and then listening to one direction again is like drugs. it’s like every drug. all the drugs. i am high as fuck off that 1D pack at 8:39am in my cubicle.
him being swaddled up by the girls

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IN THE FLESH | 2.04
Any plans for the weekend?
Yes
No
i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.
well damn . egg on my face
THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself
I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.
I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.
I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.
29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)
but I did the in person practical shit at school.
the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.
so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.
Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.
ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.
and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post
i just wanna be part of your shanephony…..

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Harry telling his security he needs to change his shoes- - Together, Together Tour - Wembley Night 8 - June 27, 2026 (via rubysdaydream)