i’m an officer, okay?

‘  when will you learn? when will you learn that your actionS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!  ’ ‘  can i get a waffle??? can i PLEASE get a waffle!!!  ’ ‘  go suck a dick, suck a dick suck a motherfucking dick  ’ ‘  you better stop! biTCH STOP  ’ ‘  do you ever like wake up and do something and you’re just like what the hec– fuck is goin on  ’ ‘  what’s good, brah you don’t know me! you don’t– WHAT IS GOOD! YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! ’ ‘  it’s summer i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party  ’ ‘  anyone ever tell you you look like beyonce?  ’ ‘  I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN’T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH  ’ ‘  BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH, I TELL YOU THAT  ’ ‘  and they were roommates!  ’ ‘  oh my god, they were roommates  ’ ‘  oh my god, i love chipotle chipotle is my liiiiife   ’ ‘  this bitch empty YEET!!!!  ’ ‘  WHERE ARE THOOOOOSE  ’ ‘  THEY ARE MY CROCS  ’ ‘  bitch disgusting  ’ ‘  yeaaah. yeAAAAAH.  ’ ‘  so no head?  ’ ‘  THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU!  ’ ‘  i’ll kill you. i’ll kill you. i’m not even worried about it.  ’ ‘  ahh, fuck. i can’t believe you’ve done this  ’ ‘  aHH STOP! i could’ve dropped my croissant!  ’ ‘  what’s up me and my boys are going to see uncle kracker  ’ ‘  give me my hat back, jordan!  ’ ‘  do you wanna go see uncle kracker or no!?  ’ ‘  i sneezed! oh, i’m not allowed to sneeze?!  ’ ‘  look at all those chickens  ’ ‘  i smell like beef  ’ ‘  i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room  ’ ‘  actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere. i have hemorrhoids.  ’ ‘  is there anything better than pussy? yes! a really good book  ’ ‘  mom, i’m peein on myself  ’ ‘  sorry, i’m on the toilet. i hope the ice cream don’t melt, bitch  ’ ‘  honestly i don’t remember, i was probably fucked up. yeah, i was crazy back then  ’ ‘  I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!  ’ ‘  just shut up and die slowly, okay?  ’ ‘  two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay!  ’ ‘  mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!  ’ ‘  i said WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER, YOUR MOMS A HO  ’ ‘  you remember one time i liked you? GOOD! cause it never happened  ’ ‘  if your name is junior and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hand  ’ ‘  i’M WASHIN ME AND MY CLOTHES, BITCH! I’M WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES  ’ ‘  waddup i’m jared, i’m nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read  ’ ‘  whAT THE FUCK IS UP, KYLE? NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE  ’ ‘  oh my god why can’t you just take the fricken compliMENT  ’ ‘  is that a wEED? i’m callin the police!!!  ’ ‘  yo, drink this vodka down the hatch c’mon  ’ ‘  it is wednesday, my dudes. aaaaAAAAAAH  ’ ‘  there is only one thing worst than a rapist… a child!  ’ ‘  get to del taco, they got a new thing called fre shavocado  ’ ‘  *to the tune of ghostbusters* i’m an adult virgin  ’ ‘  hi my name is tre, i have a basketball game tomorrooooow  ’ ‘  babeyou’reafuckingbitchiwantyoutogetthefuckoutofmycarcauseiwannabreakupwithyou i fucking hate you   ’ ‘  todays forecast we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. FUCKED. UP.  ’ ‘  whAT’S UP FUCKERS  ’ ‘  FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY  ’ ‘  he needs some milk!  ’ ‘  you are my dad. YOU’RE MY DAD! boogie woogie woogie  ’ ‘  yEAH NO SHIT, HONEY  ’ ‘  oooooh my boy going to prom. fuck it up! fuck it up! fuck it up!  ’ ‘  hey, how you doin? i’m doing just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside  ’ ‘  honey, you got a big storm comin  ’ ‘  i wanna fucking DIE  ’ ‘  road work ahead? uh yeah i sure hope it does  ’ ‘  the yo-yo master did not answer, he just kept on yo-ing  ’ ‘  welcome back to me screaming  ’ ‘  you know sometimes i think to myself what are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuuuuuuck!  ’ ‘  do you ever shut the fuck up?  ’

@tallcop // bc i had to.

eyes narrow behind dark rimmed glasses for a moment before his gaze shifts to briefly glare at the hand on his shoulder. ‘ you know, jim-- it’s nice to know i can come to you with anything, ’ phil quips, mouth drawn into a thin line.