#zoomlife

Thanks for joining this Zoom call.

I know it’s a Friday afternoon.

I’ll try to be brief.

A couple things about me.

My skin is the stretched pink sky of a dawnless inner bog full of hooting owls and hungry mud.

Bad teacher: Hey guys, I know I started the class 20 minutes late, but ahaha I’m a person too, I get held up sometimes, also I don’t know what the schedule is and I’m not going to check! Anyways how are you guys, how was your weekend? *silence* *they for some reason feel like someone will definitely respond soon, even though it’s been 47 seconds already* *more silence* Okayy let’s get started- actually I wanted to talk about something first, I noticed that not enough of you are showing up to class lately *lectures the people who actually come to class about the people who don’t come to class up for 30 minutes about being responsible and showing up and doing work even though we’re literally the ones showing up and doing the work* Anyways now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to put you guys into breakout rooms for 30 minutes to answer this single yes or no question, if you finish early why don’t you turn on your cameras and, you know, talk to each other? I’ll stop in to each room and check on y’all, and if I don’t hear voices chattering away and see faces you’ll be marked down. Ahaha :) Anyways, since group work is supposed to be beneficial for the students to share with each other, I’m going to put the only 4 people who talk in my class in *different* rooms so that they are forced to hound the other students into doing slow and mediocre work instead of being benefited and getting good work done with the other 3 good students. Okay, now that the group work is done, let’s share even though class is already over and I know you have to be in your next zoom in three minutes! Okk now that we’re done sharing the same answer 7 times, and you’re already late for the next class, let me give the longest outro ever!! Ahaha see y’all wednesday!!! :)