Body dysmorphia is a funny thing. I think about it a lot actually. About mine and others’. The reflection of the self in our minds and memories is always distorted. It can’t not be. Yet it’s important to reconcile your outer self with your inner. Phase the reality and idea together as close as possible. This is why I take so many selfies and I sit with photos that others take of me. I don’t always like what I see. But I look for the things I do and celebrate it more now. Still especially when I put on a new outfit, it’s jarring to see my reality clash with what I thought I looked like. That’s how I feel about the first pic. But it’s what it is. I don’t hate it. It’s the best pic of those like it. It’s cute! But it’s hard for me to look at, partly bc I don’t recognize myself. Partly bc the things I see as “bad” are laden with fat phobia and learned distaste. But it’s a good reminder too! Listen, I squished into existence as this thing right now and there’s SO much to explore and enjoy! I can’t waste time picking apart learned self-hate. In the grand scheme of things, I have like 20 min to experience everything the universe has to offer. It’s hard to keep up. And I want to see what I look like, how I’m experiencing the world from the outside but damn I don’t want to see myself with the lens of all this negative baggage! So it’s good to sit with things that make you uncomfortable. It’s the only way to work through something. I had a magical morning. Thank you @unskinnyshero for this gift. I love trying to see what you see. #zenthought #tomorrowmorrowmorrow #selfiereflection #bodydysmorphia https://www.instagram.com/p/BxGSYXugM1J/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6ofci2qf200f
