#zanetheaiden

Here's a video essay on the rise and fall of an iconic man and his stringed instrument.

Who was Zane Aiden?

And where did Jackson go?

Nope. If you were referring to me jackson

1: What would you name your future daughter?

Brigidine, after a character in my comic, or Isadora, because it sounds pretty.

2: Do you miss anyone?

My parents, my friends, Robin Williams.

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

I'd flail and thank you.

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

In a roundabout way, yes.

5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

Art classes.

6: Did you go out or stay in last night?

Stayed in.

7: How late did you stay up last night?

Until like 3 am because I've lost control of my life.

8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

Naw.

9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

Panicking and painting.

10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

Nah, that's a really asshole thing to do. Plus I don't sugarcoat things and that counts as sugarcoating for me.

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

Yes, and I actually plan to because I don't like how I feel afterwards, even if I'm not drunk.

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

Nope. I've had that happen to me and when I found out I felt like shit, so I won't ever do that to someone else.

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Yes, and I also plan to. My grandma smokes and it hurts my lungs like hell, so I don't know how I'd be able to handle it if I was the one smoking.

14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Ed.

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Eh, depends on how intimate I've gotten with them (platonically).

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

I've literally always been single.

17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

Yes and I'm always at my scariest when I'm like that.

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

I've never held hands with anyone aside from people in my family and classmates when I was in elementary school.

19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

I've never been kissed.

20: Who did you last see in person?

My roommate.

21: What is the last thing you said out loud?

"See ya later." - to my roommate as I left for class.

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

Again, I've never been kissed. (Probably never will be either, haaaa)

23: Have you ever been to Paris?

Nope. I don't plan on going either.

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yeah. Years of being scolded for "being too negative" and so on taught me that talking about how I feel is just a waste of everyone's time. Luckily, I'm mostly over having that mindset.

25: Do you use chap stick?

Yes.

26: Who did you last share a bed with?

Ed and I almost fell asleep on the same bed the night before he left to go back to his state last summer, does that count?

27: Are you listening to music right now?

Nope.

28: What is something you currently want right now?

A hug. I could always go for a hug. Maybe some food.

29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

Once more; never been kissed.

30: How is your heart lately?

Uh....seems to be functioning fine.

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

Nah.

32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

I hugged my friend for giving me a birthday present.

33: What do people call you?

Momma Umiko, Umi, or my irl nickname (which I do not plan on disclosing here)

34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

Yes, because I'm scared of hurting them or driving them away. This is a general statement. I usually have to deal with this issue at least once when I'm friends with a person.

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

College, being there for my friends, overcoming mental illness.

36: What are you listening to right now?

The sound of my typing and my roommate's fan.

37: What is wrong with you right now?

There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just working through some things right now. I don't think that what I'm dealing with is "wrong" though, it's just stuff that needs improvement. Though if I had to pick something, I'd say the fact that I haven't eaten dinner yet. I'm so HUNGRY.

38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

Yep!

39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

I don't usually make wishes, I'm more of a "you gotta make your own miracles" person.

40: What is on your wrists right now?

My hoodie sleeves and a hair tie.

41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

Single.....and I probably will be for a very long time.

42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

My parents bought it for me because I'm poor ^u^;

43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Neeeeever kissed anyone. Ever.

44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

My friends, both of them bought me birthday gifts.

45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

Nope.

46: What were you doing at midnight last night?

Crying because of some assholes.

47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

Kinda, but like, also not really? Like I'd rather move forward and focus on the now than look back and say "gee I wish things had stayed that way."

48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

Well....I like sleeping alone because I have more freedom to flop around in bed to get comfortable, but sleeping with someone seems nice, because you can curl up against them and wrap them in your arms and idk that just seems like a really nice thing to me but I've never ever had that so I can't really say I'd prefer it because of lack of experience.

49: Have you ever been to New York?

Yep. One time we drove through it, the next time we stayed for a week and saw many cool things.

50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I have no idea. I hope so.