Angelina Jolie wearing Wolford bodysuit. Stylist’s own skirt. Jewelry by Zamore.

Photographed by Blair Getz Mezibov.

Today, drawing aliviate me.

(Recycling blank spaces on my sketchbook and making the most out of it)

My latest Artist Colaboration

I sat in my little room, to think big. Opened the windows to let any idea passing by, to come in. So it did.

It touched a very personal experience. How I came to know resilience. Kate's musical melody sounds to me as a tragedy that can be overcome. The piece doesn't end with a tragic ending, instead, you can hear hope. It reminded me of how many times we fall down, and the many more times we have gotten up.

Verme tragarme los añicos que me pesan dentro. Parpadear sin parar hasta que las lágrimas dejen de ser una amenaza que atenta contra mi fachada de "todo normal".

Saber ser quien no quieres ser, es un arma de dos filos porque se vuelve esa otra cara de la moneda que puedes usar. Sé como aparentar que no estoy sufriendo, por qué no usarla si me sirve para comprar tiempo? El tiempo es mi amigo porque el tiempo lo arreglará todo. Desilusiones, fracasos, corazones rotos. Con el tiempo, esto dejará de importar y cuando eso pasé, podré volver a subir el mentón, enderezar la espalda y probar intimidad con la mirada.

Hasta entonces, veme confundida. Siente mi distancia. Averigua porqué estoy lastimada. Extraña a quien tenías cerca porque yo me encuentro lejos.

Hombres, que odiosos son cuando no son solo más que niños aterrados. Cuando tenemos que darles de comer papilla porque no pueden masticar, digerir o procesar un pedazo lleno de vida.

Florencia

Oh how I miss my dear Argentinian. She has the warmest, most loveliest, sweetest voice I’ve ever heard. She might seem clueless but she speaks with so much confidence in herself that you can believe anything she spits out of her mouth. Florencia and I were like magnets to each other. Her young soul attracts the energised creatives that thrive to make art. 

Her heart is just like an old poet’s journal. So deep and not hollow. Enigmatic. Flirty and Courageous. She brought out the best of me.

She called me on a Sunday night to ask me to come to Amsterdam for a business meeting. She had met a photographer that wanted her to perform on a movie premier and she had no clue about how to approach the situation. We had just collaborate for a gallery opening in The Hague for my friend Dominic Brown, as she became part of the exhibition when she accompanied the quartet with her dance moves. This was exactly what the photographer had heard and wanted to bring to the movie premier. 

In a week I gathered a guitarist, a cameraman and a BTS photographer. Lods 6 became a stage for Florencia and her dance moves. 

We only could rehearse that same day at 8am. One night before I had been emotionally abused by my boss. I was in the middle of a breakdown, but that didn’t stop me from delivering because, as they say in theatre, THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

When I stop thinking, I create

I’ve had this idea of doing a blog/website for a long time now and it wasn’t until now, that I could perceive the signals. The call outs I was listening in every song, every podcast, every conversation. The clues I was finding in casualties, encounters, and opportunities. 

The cognitive flow

when you’re not creating it, but it’s been revealed to you. When an idea finds you and decides to born through you. 

Zamore couldn’t be contained anymore, for the sake of my mental health. I had to feel confident about my process and I needed to risk something to actually be compromised.

But I couldn’t take myself TOO serious, so, by not taking yourself seriously;

you become uninhibited. egoless. you’re left with your own thoughts. it takes you places that are unusual and everyone needs to feel capable of going to this places. feel satisfaction about yourself for perceiving your own capabilities. to think for yourself. have your own opinions. everyone needs moments of self reflection. 

creativity isn’t just being able to play a song or paint a canvas. it’s also a choice you’re being presented to every day, when you decide to not take the usual path back home and find a new one. A mindset that allows you to choose something new from the menu. deciding that you want to be more than you already are and by doing what?  what can you become if today you decide to go in to a comedy club?  what will you learn about yourself if you decide to learn sign language? what new thoughts can be born when you’re out of your comfort zone?

If you think about it, what we crave a lot of times, is feeling special. Creativity, being able to do something by yourself, that feels effortless and surprises your heart; that micro-dosis of joy is what we need every so often to remind ourselves we are special. we deserve this life. we are not wasting our time.