#ywamla

There’s so much to say and it’s only week one, which I’m both overwhelmed by and excited by at the same time. Coming back to LA has been like waking up in a dream I thought would be forgotten when I left here the first time. It would be a lie to say I was 100% in and ready when I got on the plane in Montreal. I had a lot of doubts. After such an amazing summer I didn’t want to leave home. I was afraid that I would come back and so much would be different that I wouldn’t find the flow or fit in. Only two girls that did my discipleship training school came back for SOMD, and the rest were new friendships that needed to form. What if there was tension? What if no one likes me? It’s so crazy that after working with a ministry like Beauty Arise I would still have so many really strong insecurities about fitting in. I also felt nervous being away for twelve weeks, even though I was just away for twenty-two. I didn’t want to miss more holidays and more birthdays back home. I didn’t want life back home to go on without me. Coming here once didn’t make coming here a second time any easier. 

On the plane I kind of just wasted time, trying to watch movies and trying to sleep, talking to Josh about nothing and everything (free wifi on a plane is actually so bomb). I started feeling numb to the fact that I was leaving, which is not my usual response to change. One thing I did notice was a song that was stuck in my head, over and over a line saying “I feel it in my bones You’re about to move”. That line is still in my head and still rings true to my heart. My emotions are crazy, if you know me you know that. I’ve had to practice self control my whole life because of it. But throughout the ups and downs I’ve had inside my head this week, I can be anchored by the fact that I know God is moving in my life. 

This past week has totally shattered those fears I had coming back. Though I’m still sad about the holidays, I found a family here right away. I’ve been spending each day with seventeen students, three staff, and one amazing school leader, and I can honestly say this is one of the best groups I’ve even known. We all get along so great and I just feel so open with everyone. It’s the first time I’ve been a a group with so many people I just met and really feel like I can be myself. And I don’t even have to try. It’s really the first time in my life I don’t have to impress people or try to be relatable or funny or anything. I just have to be myself and we all have a great time. 

This week we shared testimonies, not just our past, but our roots, our values, our dreams, inspirational people in our lives, legacies we want to leave behind, and where we want breakthrough. We each had time to share, all twenty-one of us (actually just twenty because one is away, but she’ll be sharing soon). Each person amazed me as they got very real very fast. They all opened up about things they want to see change in their lives, things they struggle with, and things that might still haunt them from their past. These people are already like family, I have no other way to put it. I love each one of them so much and can’t wait to see so much breakthrough happen as we all step into our calling as leaders. And also, quick side note, I laughed so much this week. There are so many funny people in our group, and together it’s non-stop fun. 

We’ve also started reading through the bible this week which has been absolutely mind-blowing. Though I’m not, I feel like I’m reading it for the first time. There are so many things in God’s character that I’m picking up on. His patience has been something most people reading the first few books in the bible see, but dang. It’s unreal. I would have killed the Israelites before Leviticus even happened #sorrynotsorry. Reading the books in one shot and seeing God’s plan for humanity unfold before my eyes, it’s like what the heck did I ever doubt coming here? Why did I think I would have no purpose here and was waisting three months. It’s only three months. God has been working out a plan since before the beginning of humanity and I complain that he’s called me here for three months. This time is so small, and it should be so insignificant to God who has everything else to work out, but He cares about my little time here and I know He’s going to use it so well. 

It’s crazy what getting into God’s word can do. I’ve never been good at communicating the things I’m experiencing on a deeper level, but I can say that things already feel different. I’m seeing things differently, I feel like I have more patience, I actually want to stop and listen and invest in people, not just pretend I want to cause that’s what I think Jesus would want me to do. I’m seeing a bigger picture, and it’s making these next eleven weeks look so small (which I’m low-key sad about, I want to take everyone home with me). I’m hearing God’s voice a lot more clearly in my life. I’m also so hungry for more of God, more of his word, more of his correction and conviction. 

Can we take a second to talk about that; God’s correction. Imagine getting told you’re in the wrong and you need to change or fix something by the God that not only created you but everything and everyone around you? That’s so cool. That’s amazing. Like yes! Tell me I’m wrong, you know so much better than I do. How can I be more myself, more the person I was created to be, without the Creator telling me where I need to be heading. 

So yea, week one has been so good. My leaders are amazing and are four people who I want to follow and take correction from, easily. My two roommates are just so funny and so so so sweet, and the rest of my #somdafam (credits to you Joanne, you genius, you) are literally the best people ever. I want them all to marry people from Montreal and just come home with me. I said that already, but I mean it. Also five are already Canadian so like why not?

Next week we get our first speaker, Kenny Peavy, who spoke in my DTS, which was one of the most impactful weeks of my life. I’m excited. And I’ll be doing something crazy fun tomorrow, but I’ll keep that one a surprise. This SOMD is actually going to be an amazing adventure and I’m so excited for it. Even in 6 weeks when I know I’ll be crying in my room missing home and thinking I can’t do it, I’ll still be excited, because God’s hand is on this school, and He’s about to move in amazing ways. He really is a refiner, and I’m so anxious to see in what ways His grace and love will change me in the next three months. 

So thanks for reading, I’ll be keeping up on this blog and I really hope you’ll be keeping up with me. 

Love, 

Hi! For those of you who don’t know, I’m back at Youth With A Mission Los Angeles (YWAM LA) taking part in the School of Ministry Development (SOMD). I’ll be posting regularly about the things I’ll be experiencing here for the next twelve weeks, but I wanted to take time to explain to my friends and family what SOMD is, things we’ll be doing, and the similarities and differences between doing an SOMD and a Discipleship Training School (DTS), which is what I did from January to June of 2016. 

 School of Ministry Development 

I’m going to cut corners here because I wanna go to sleep soon, so if you want to know what exactly SOMD is and the goal of it all, you can check it out here:

http://ywamla.org/secondary/somd/

SOMD VS DTS 

Those of you who have been following me since January have many questions about why the heck I’m back in LA. Hopefully this will help clear it out. 

 The School of Ministry Development is a leadership training program. I’ll get into details about what that entails later. Though it is not a DTS, you need to have done a DTS in any YWAM location around the world to take part in the SOMD. I’m back at the same base in LA I was when doing my DTS with some of the same students! SOMD has the style of the lecture phase of a DTS. That means I’m here for 12 weeks. I'll gaining wisdom in class through different speakers each week, doing work duties (I’m on breakfast duty this time around.. yay for 6:15 AM), taking part in intersession and worship with other students (those currently doing their DTS at YWAM LA) and staff, attending a local church, taking part in small groups and one-on-ones, etc. And just like my DTS, my class has students from all over the world, all ages (ok not ALL) and all walks of life. And we’re all obsessed with Jesus. Like “I did a 6 month training program spending 24/7 revolved around Jesus and I still need more” level of obsessed. 

There are definitely some differences though! My DTS was an all-girls-DTS (which isn’t usually a thing, at least not intentionally), and this time I’m joining 8 other girls and 8 guys, all of which are hilarious, bright, and super super super fun to be around. Because SOMD is what you would call a secondary school, it’s also not as strict as a DTS, for example, I’m allowed to date (which is good considering I have a boyfriend). Unlike my DTS, I won’t be going on outreach with SOMD. Though there is a shorter outreach that will be happening, because I plan to come back to Montreal and go to university, it won’t be possible for me. SOMD has a much chiller feel to it. The staff trusts us more, we’re comfortable with the YWAM mentality, and there’s a lot less pressure and rules. 

Things We’ll Be Doing

Every weekday we’ll be in class with different people speaking on different topics. 

 On Fridays after lunch we’re going to be doing some local outreach in LA. 

Sundays we attend churches, and for the first few weeks we’ll be going as a team to different churches. 

We’re asked to blog each week, which is awesome because I love blogging but always forget to do it. 

One long weekend in October we’ll be going camping for 5 days. 

In November we get to join a bunch of other YWAMers in Northern California for a YWAM conference. 

We get to hang out and get to know each other every day for 12 weeks (which is so exciting cause these guys are great) 

We take part in base activities and work duties, as well as leadership responsibilities. 

 Most important and exciting to me, which is why I want to separate this part from the list, is on top of all the things we’re doing, we are going to read through the entire bible cover to cover, and at least one book at a time. My school leader Lisa explained that we can read hundreds of books on christian leadership (as for now we will read one), but we’re missing the mark if we don’t just get to the root of it, where these authors get their knowledge in the first place, God’s word. So far we’ve gone through Genesis, Exodus and Leviticus and I’m itching to just read more. I’m really honoured to be in a “course” (for lack of better words) where I’m required to read the Bible the way it was designed to be read, as a whole. 

 So that’s what I’ll be up to! I promise you’ll hear more from me in detail as the weeks come, and I’ll be getting more personal about my own growth and not just listing facts to you! Thanks for reading this and supporting me throughout this season!