@yuukirita your secondbee AU is destroying me, so I hope you enjoy this. Might have another in the works. maybe-
unbeta'ed and wrote in, mostly one sitting
The grave site isn't the most pleasant place to be, it's not really a place he visits often. Doesn't have much of a reason to, but he had someone to speak to today. Someone he needed to speak to, someone he hoped would listen.
Bumblebee's steps are quiet, not making a sound. The site is eerie, especially when there was no-one around. The graves are lined up in an orderly fashion, some plain and cold, others dotted with offerings. There is one in particular he's looking for, and it's the brightest one.
'B-127 Brother. Friend. Warrior'.
He knelt before the headstone, dipping his head in respect. He noticed that there seemed to be a new decoration, someone had carefully cut out a piece of graffiti.
'Bee was here'. Bumblebee glanced at it, he sure was here.
Now he wasn't.. But Bumblebee was.
"..Hey." It's awkward, how do you talk to a headstone of someone you didn't know? Someone you reminded everyone else of, to the point they seemed.. Weird around you.
He tapped his digits together, wishing somehow he could actually be face to face with this.. Bee. He sighed before running a servo down his helm as he stood.
"I'm.. I'm Bumblebee. I've been here a few times before, with Optimus Prime. You know him - knew him.." He vented harshly, his wing doors drooping a little. This felt awkward, why did this feel so awkward?! "..Lots of the bots here have a lot of things to say about you, y'know? Good things.. Bad things.. Said the war at the start would've been a lot worse if you weren't there at the start.. Course I only hear stuff from the battle field.. Wish I could go."
Bumblebee rocked on his pedes, linking his servos behind his back. His optics glanced skyward, before focusing on the grave again.
"I remind you of them.. I hear it in their whispers.. I wish I didn't, maybe then Optimus would let me be my own bot. Let me actually help out more instead of sieving through old datapads for something-!" His pede started to tap rapidly on the floor as he spoke, venting harshly once more. He rocked on his heels, squeezing his optics shut before venting again.
"Sorry.. I shouldn't.. Shouldn't get mad at you for that.. It's not your fault, maybe. I don't know." Bumblebee groaned, running both servos across his helm. His audials twitch and he wrinkled his nose slightly. "I'm not.. I'm not entirely sure why I came here.."
The world around him is still and silent. It's not something he's used to. There was always talk, always explosions, always.. Something. There's nothing here.
"..You.. I guess... I just wanted to ask something. It's uh, kinda silly so don't laugh. Okay?" He grinned, he didn't know why. His shoulders slump, his spark feels.. Heavy. "I guess.. I dunno.. Ugh.. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, why I'm here.. All I do is just make bots uncomfortable, or they resent me for just being here.. I'm painful."
"Did you ever feel like that? Ever just.. Wonder what you were supposed to be doing..? If you were on the right side, if.. If any of this is worth it..?" He sank down to his knees, feeling more hopeless. "I.. Everyone loved you.. And you loved everyone, in some way. Even if they didn't reciprocate.. Tried to be kind to everyone.."
He bit his lip, drawing his servos close before shutting his eyes with a heavy vent. His system felt stiff, everything felt stiff.
"...Would.." The words feel heavy on his tongue, and when his optics focused on the stone before him he felt tears trailing down his facial plates. He felt like a little sparkling, all over again.
"..Do you resent me..? Being here instead of you..? Or would you have loved me too..?"
The silence that followed is heavy, heavier than the looks from the other bots. The way a name is on their lips when they see him, but it's not his name. The way he's sheltered, the way he's kept out of sight. Bumblebee didn't know why he came here, didn't know what he hoped to achieve. A feeling of enlightenment? Something? He doesn't know.
He read in the archives once about some Cybertronians who had the gift to see ghosts of the bots that had gone to the AllSpark. If he was such a bot then maybe he would know about the arms wrapped around him and a comforting head rested upon his helm. Known about the yellow smoke coiled around him protectively and soothingly.
But Bumblebee wasn't such a bot, so he wept there.
Alone.
