#ytfmg

“Beep! Beep! Beep!” Your alarm went off calling out into your darkened room, you reached over hit the snooze and grabbing at your phone that lay on your nightstand. Was it really already eight in the morning? Rolling back over you clutched your phone holding it close to your face, and hit the lock button. The screen was blindingly bright as you scrolled through a few notifications.

One missed call…

It was from Joe. The two of you had been friends for awhile, and recently while you were talking to his sister Zoe you had found out that Joe wanted to be more than friends, and if you were being honest with yourself, you did also. But, neither of you wanted to take the first leap. Last night Joe and some of his friends had went out for drinks, you however had stayed in due to the fact you had to work in the morning. The call was from two in the morning, It was probably just a drunken pocket dial, but you went to the voicemail he had left… just in case.

“(Y/N). You probably think I’m drunk.” His words were lazy and in the background you could hear Alfie cackling at full volume. “I’m not though… I- I- I’m not that drunk at least.” He stumbled over himself as he spoke, getting worked up when his words didn’t come out sounding sober. He sighed long and hard before speaking again, “I really just need to tell you a secret… its just well, I love you.”

The last three words hung there suspended in the air before the phone clicked off. He had spit them into your voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shots of whiskey he had downed for the courage. The first time Joe Sugg had ever told you he loved you… Staring down at your phone, you debated on what to do. Should you go see him? Or just ignore it? Had he meant it? He was drunk… Does he even remember?

Gathering all your courage and hoping he wouldn’t answer you called him back.

Hey its Joe! Leave me a message if you think you’re that important!  

Perfect, his voicemail… You took a deep breath and let the words tumble out of your mouth .

“C’mon, Connor. You’re drunk, it’s time to take you home.” you pleaded, it was the third time you had tried to get Connor to go home. Each time you told him he was drunk he simply laughed, and kept walking. You watched him turn around, stumble slightly, then pitch himself forward at you. “I’m not even drunk, I’m tipsy at most.” He said, clutching your shoulders to remain upright.

“Right, Right. Well, you know where the best drinks are? Out in the car!” You say back, trying to catch his eyes. He laughed again, grabbing your hand and pulling you over to the bar. “Lets sit.” Connor said, dropping on to the stool. In the dim glow of the lights above the bar, you could see Connor’s hair was disheveled, the top five or so buttons of his shirt were open, and his eyes were bright from the alcohol.

“Connor? Con? Do you have your phone, and your car keys? Because if I leave you here I want to make sure, you can call a cab, because I’m taking your car” You try to ask him, but between the loud music and his current inebriation, he’s barely listening.

You were starting to get impatient, being Connor’s designated driver was kind of killing your night out. “Lets go dance!” Connor yelled, standing up fast. He stumbled two steps forward before you grabbed his belt loop, pulling him back to you.

“Are you flirting with me? Are you trying to touch my butt?!” Connor asked, whipping around to look at you, “All you have to do is ask, and I’ll let you touch my butt.” He added, sincerely.

“Connor. I don’t want to touch your butt… Nor have you ever wanted me to touch your butt. I need your car keys so we can go home. Or I need your phone so I can call a cab.” You said, standing up, and maneuvering yourself in front of him to block his way to the dance floor. 

“No. I want you to touch my butt. Thats where my car keys are.” Connor said to you. It took all you had in you not to laugh at him, he looked like he sincerely wanted you to grab his butt.

“Wait… Your car keys are in your butt?” You asked, sputtering out a laugh, as he sidestepped you clumsily trying to find his way back to the dance floor.

“Pocket. My butt pocket.” He said stopping mid-step, shoving his hand into his pocket, and producing his keys.

Now all you had to do was get Connor to follow you out to his car so you could leave. It was almost one in the morning and you just wanted to go to bed. “Con, guess what?” You exclaimed, grabbing his arm with one hand, to try to prevent him from walking further into the club. Connor looked down at your hand on his arm, swiveled around to face you.

“Hey. Don’t fucking touch me. I’m fragile. You’re melting me.” He said fiercely, jerking his arm away. You rubbed the heels of your hands into your eyes, and then started weaving your way through the crowd towards the club entrance. At this point you really didn’t care if Connor got home or not. Once you were out in the parking lot, you clicked the lock button on Connor’s keys, locating his car, a little ways down. “Hey, wait! wait! wait!” you could hear Connor slurring his words, and his clumsy footsteps got louder as you neared the drivers side of the car.

When you turned around to see where Connor was, he was almost directly behind you. “Oh, hi Connor! I’m so glad you finally decided to join me. I was going to leave you here.” you said, the sarcasm seeping into your voice.

“Of course I came. I love you.” he said, stepping closer and holding on the both your shoulders.

“Connor.. You’re an idiot.” you say, turning your face away because you could feel yourself blushing, “You’re just drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying”

“No.” Connor said, pressing his forehead to yours, you could smell the light scent of alcohol of his breath but some how he was speaking much more clearly, “No. The sky is dark, your shirt is purple, and mine is blue. I know what I’m saying, and I’m saying I love you.

(Basically I just had this little day dream about how Ricky would say his first I love you to his girlfriend, and I thought I'd write about it.)

It was just Ricky and yourself in your apartment. The two of you were looking forward to celebrate your 6 month anniversary in sunny LA… But instead of the normal sunny and warm days you had become accustomed to, it was one of those gloomy, rainy afternoons where going outside just wasn't an option.

So, instead the two of you were trying to make being stuck inside more fun than it actually was. You had suggested a million things, but none of them had perked Ricky’s interest. He had shot down all your movies, and said he wasn't tired so a nap was out of the question. And slowly you were running out of ideas. “What about a dance party?” You asked him, glancing over to where he sat, phone in hand, on your floor. Ricky looked up at you, finally something he actually seemed interested in!

“Yes! I even have the perfect playlist!” He smiled, stood up, and walked over to your kitchen counter, probably searching for your speaker system. He found it quickly, and then Move by Little Mix was playing loudly through your apartment.

“C’mon! Lets dance!” Ricky said parading back into the room, stepping to the beat. He held his hand out to you, and as you took it he pulled you up. The two of you danced to song after song, your dance moves getting weirder and weirder as the time flew by.

And as the final bars of Try Hard by 5SOS blared through the house, Ricky looked at you and laughed. You looked at him confused by his sudden hysteria.

The door to your apartment abruptly flung open, hitting the wall behind it and creating a loud bang. Joe, your best friend, stomped in. His fists were balled, and you could see his teeth clench and unclench. “

“Where is he?” Joe asked, his voice dripping with rage, as he surveyed your apartments front room.

“G - gone.” You whispered, drawing your knees closer into your chest. Joe made eye contact with you, you watched his whole face soften. “He’s been gone since this morning. I thought I could calm down, but when I couldn’t I called you.”

“Oh (Y/N), don’t cry over that guy. He was bloody stupid to go after another girl. She could never ever be better than you.” Joe crossed the room, sitting next to you on the floor, wrapping his arms around you. Shaking your head you looked up at him, tears still rolling down your face.

“How can be so sure?” You asked him; cutting off his answer with another question, “Who would choose a daisy in a field of roses?”.

“(Y/N)... Why do you do that? Why do you put yourself down like that?” Joe asked you, trying to catch your eye.

“Because, Joe. Every night… I toss and turn every night, wondering… Just wondering… If someone is awake thinking of me too. And every time I can't think of anyone who would possibly be thinking of me.” You raged, standing up and walking to the window. The sunny day seemed to mock your less than sunny mood.

“I do.” Joe whispered, you could barely hear him. You turned around slowly, as Joe slowly stood up from the floor.

Joe stood in front of you, “I do. I have for a while, actually…” he laughed softly, “You are obviously way too good for that guy. If he really saw you for you, he would have never, never, never let you go.” Joe reached out putting a his hands on your waist.

You were in shock. Standing there staring at your best friend, had he really just…

“Please say something… (Y/N)” Joe pleaded, lifting your chin up, looking into your eyes.

Alfie Deyes Oneshot. 

"If you jump... I jump." The sound of his voice barely registered, the wind blew my hair loose from the ponytail, it stung as it whipped across my face. 

"Liar." I whispered, into the wind not daring to turn around. Not daring to face the only person in the world who knew all my secrets, if I did I wouldn't step off the ledge. One look at his brown eyes, and I'd lose all my courage. Losing my courage wasn't an option... not now. Not after all I had been through; I took the step onto the ledge.

I heard Alfie gasp behind me, I shook my head trying to shake the tears from my eyes. I didn't want him to see me do this... But, than again I didn't want to live either. 

I took another step forward, trying to maintain my balance a little longer because as the wind rushed forward I could smell the briefest traces of his sweet cologne. My strength wavered, maybe I did want to live, for him. If he loved me, like I loved him. He wouldn't though, not after every wall I had put up between us. I couldn't even stand to be touched... "How could anyone love you?" The thought made my fists clench, the determination to throw myself off the building can back like a flash flood.

 My dress flew forward catching me off guard, as I took another step out to the edge I could hear the rushing of the little river below us. It was the most peaceful place on the planet, the river where I would land after I took my final step.    

"Please." I heard the voice again, like a whisper behind me even though I knew he was yelling. He was yelling through tears, just like I had yelled at him the first time he saw me with my blade in my hand, pushing down on my wrist. 

I wanted to turn tell him that I had been madly deeply and crazily in love with him, since that day. The day he had wrapped a towel over my bleeding wrist and tossed my blade in the trash. Even though I had shoved him away over and over, telling him I didn't need his help, he had stayed. 

I wanted him to know none of it was his fault. He was my shining star. That when I finally ended my life, it was because of everyone but him.

But, caught in the sea of memories, I looked down not just to where i would fall, but to my wrist all the scars showed plainly against my tan skin. The scars that had healed but never faded... Tears blew off my face in the relentless wind. 

I knew that with one simple twist of my legs the pain would end. I just wanted it to end, all the pain. I shook my head, trying to physically shake every thought out of my brain. The last step to the edge of the ledge, I trembled.

I held my own hand, behind my back. The same thing I did when I was little, all alone and afraid of what would happen next. I heard a choked sob come out of my own throat, it sounded disconnected. I had blocked out everything but it was nearly impossible to block out the words I heard behind me, words I thought would never cross Alfie's lips... 

"I love you. I know you can't possibly understand it, I know you hate when anyone tries to help you. But, I love you. I've loved you since I saw you. I love you with every wall you've put up between us! Please." I heard Alfie yelling, each word stung like a slap in the face, but some how it hurt worse, My heart pounded, I wanted to turn around. 

Each sentence was stinging my head like a hornet, over and over. I hovered there on the very edge, trying to reason what he was saying could be true. I couldn't fathom it, no one could ever love me. Even my own parents. 

I felt a hand enclose around my wrist, where I was still holding my own hand. He had stalled me long enough to hold me back from taking the step off the edge.

I turned. I wanted to see if the words he had said were real or just a desperate plan to make sure I didn't jump. I whipped my head around, raw emotions were clear on Alfie's face, tears streaming down his face. He pulled me hard, off the edge towards him. I fell onto him his back hitting the hard concrete with a dull but audible thud. After all the time I had spent pushing him away, as he sat up, I held on to him. He pulled me closer as I cried onto his shoulder, turning the dull blue t-shirt, damp and black with my mascara filled tears.

And there, in his arms...

“Wake up, baby.” Troye whispered from the bed next to you. Never before had you wanted the dark to stay longer, the rising sun seemed to be mocking you. In truth you hadn’t slept at all that night, instead you had memorized every part of Troye’s face, trying to keep the image forever in your mind.

“Do you have to go back to Australia?” You whispered, watching his pull on a beanie and baby blue t-shirt. He looked over at you a sad little smirk on his face. “Yes… But, only for two months! Then I’ll be back.” He reassured you, sitting on the edge of the bed, holding your hand.

Sighing hugely you pulled your legs out of the bed and grab a pair of sweatpants from the floor, they were Troye’s and you could tell he left them their just for you to slip on, when you turned around and he was smiling at you. “You’re beautiful. You know that?” He stated, it was a normal thing for him to tell you but you could still feel the blush rise to your face, as you stared down at your feet. His hand tilt up your chin, “Come on, I can’t miss this flight too.”

It was a chilly morning, and you shivered in the car, Troye opened the door to your car dashing back inside. ‘What in the world is he doing’ you wondered to yourself. He ran back outside shutting the door behind him. “Here you go, babe.” He said draping one of his zip up hoodies over your shoulder. “Thanks.” You said, smiling your hundred watt smile at him.

The drive to the airport felt like a normal car ride, even though it was five in the morning, and the last time you would see Troye’s gorgeous face in person, for at least two months. The letter in tucked in the waist band of your shorts, under Troye’s sweatpants felt like it was burning a hole in your side.

After parking and walking into the airport, you were forced to say your goodbye’s to the love of your life. If had been nearly a year that you two had been dating, but a meaning full “I love you” had never been uttered, as he pulled away from a long kiss, you pulled the letter from your waistband.

“What’s this?” He asked, playfully snatching it from your hand.

“Don’t read it until you’re on the plane, okay?” You asked him, biting your lip.

“Ugh, but the suspense…” He sighed, “But… Anything for you.” He finished winking at you, and grabbing you by the waist.

One last kiss and he was walking away from you, you watched him saunter down the corridor, his luggage behind him.

Back in the car, you let a few tears fall from your eyes. Not only in sadness but in the uncertainty of the letter you had handed Troye. On the last line was something you had wanted to tell him since your first date.

“I love you, Troye… To the moon and back.”

Silently sobbing in your car, the vibration of your phone made you jump. The text was from Troye, your hands shook as you opened the message.

You didn’t give me your name so I just used, (Y/N)

  “Do you need any help in there, babe?” You heard Jason yell from the living room; with Jason in the kitchen you knew you’d just get distracted and end up not making enough cookies.

“No, it’s alright!” You called back to him, humming along to the Pandora station playing through the speakers on the counter. Realizing he was sounding a bit dejected, you called out again, “Wait on second thought, come here!”

The scent of Jason’s cologne contrasted sharply with the cookies and vanilla smell you had been inhaling for the past twenty minutes. Putting his hands on your hips, he kissed you on the cheek and waited for his assignment. Grabbing the hand held electric mixer, you spun around. “Mix.” You command simply, stepping away from the bowl on the counter in front of you.

You were turned away when you felt a splat on your back and felt something hit your hair, and then Jason’s laughter filled the room.

“(Y/N)… Babe, I’m so sorry!” He sputtered out, spinning around you saw him doubled over mixer still in his hand. Reaching behind you, you grabbed the first thing you touched, walking over two him; Hand behind your back. “Here, come here.” Jason said straightening back up and reaching out to hug you. Just as his arms went around your waist, you dumped the cup of flour on his head.

“Now we’re even.” You said with a smile, kissing him on the lips.

“Wanna go get a shower?” He asked, grabbing your hand and trying to shake some of the flour out.

“Yeah, its in my hair.” You sighed, walking towards the bathroom, but then, something hit you hard in the shoulder… an egg.

“I can’t believe it!” You whispered, swinging your legs over the side of your bed, and stepping directly on something that wasn’t your floor.

“Ouch!” Your best friend, Finn yelped sitting up.

“Oh! Sorry Finny… I forgot you were sleeping there.” You said, sheepishly wrapping your blanket around your shoulders and walking to the window seat on his other side. “It’s raining, Finny. We were ‘gonna go take pictures at the park today!” You exclaimed, pouting.

“(Y/N) c’mon we’ll have plenty of fun inside.” Finn said, standing up to look out the window with you.

“We won’t. There’s nothing fun to do inside.” You stubbornly pouted, turning your head to look up at him.

“Is that a bet?” He asked, a cheeky smile taking over his face. You nodded, wondering what kind of plan he had. Your apartment was small just four rooms in a big square. When you looked over at Finn, he had all the blankets from your bed in his arms.

“What are yo-“ You started to question him, but he interrupted, “Stay here, and no peeking.”

Sighing, but agreeing you watched Finn run out to your living room, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

You and Finn had been best friends for nearly a year. He had nearly run you over on his penny board in the middle of an airport, and then you had found out you were both going on the same flight. You two had talked the entire twelve hours, and when you touched down in London… You grabbed his phone and saved your number in it.

After that day the two of you had become inseparable. His twin brother Jack liked to tease the two of you that you both we’re in a state of Skinny Love, when two people love each other but are too shy to admit it but they still show it.

“Come out, (Y/N)!” You heard Finn yell, throwing open your bedroom door.  In your living room Finn had set up two blanket forts on either side, staring in wonder your jaw dropped when a paper airplane hit you on the side of the head.

“HAPPY HUNGER GAMES. AND MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR” The inside of the plane read in Finn’s boyish scrawl, running to the fort closest to you, you ducked down to find paper planes and toy bow and arrow, and a marker.

Nearly two hours later, your stomach hurt from laughing and you had only one piece of paper left. A Paper Plane came flying through the open area of your fort, you saw a little bit of wirting, unfolding it you saw it read…

“(Y/N) Will you go out with me?”

Gasping softly you uncapped your marker, and wrote,

“I thought you’d never ask. I’d love too, Finny.”