#youwerelost

"Please don't tell her her that I've been meaning to miss her, because I don't" - Jason Mraz

First off, I want to apologize to my early readers and to my earlier self about abandoning the blogging practice. I'm hoping this is something I can do more regularly, mostly because I should, mostly because I need to.

It's been a strange, obscure, and slightly fuzzy several months since my last post - it's not like I have forgotten, I just always have a half-assed desire to dedicate time to this. There are many things that have triggered my need to scrawl away and voice my opinions on the megaphone, but then I think about it, and say 'forget it.'

Why?

Well, for one, after I've done my share of pondering over something I think is worth discussing, I hit either one of three mental walls. Sometimes all three if I hit the blockade jackpot.

Wall 1: I've done all the thinking about this that I care for right now. Or will care for, in the future.

Wall 2: Will this offend somebody/ruin my chances of getting hired later? (If and when I have some thoughts on a film/tv show/public figure)

Wall 3: Does anybody care about this more than me enough to read till the end?

Also, my Playwriting professor suggested that I do more writing by hand because it is a altered experience and expulsion comes differently. So I have been trying that, and it is a different thing - I have to actually stop, collaborate, and listen to my thoughts more - since my pen is not as efficient as my fingers on a keyboard. I think I might just transcribe them digitally anyway - but the first method out by hand has been a refreshing, and much needed, practice lately. I feel like everything I write has to be documented and kept - I don't like to write on something/about something and know that I will lose it or never see it again.

So, here it is. My promise to visit this more - to write write write and not look back. I just feel so much better when I do. So prep yourself four some sappy rants, maybe, but I have nice things to say most of the time.

Keepin' it together Lucy,