It still hurts most days.  I don't think it will ever stop.  Every time I say or hear your name, tears come to my eyes and I have to use all of my focus to make sure they don't escape.  To make sure my feelings don't escape anymore.  Every memory of you brings me sadness and irreversible pain.  Having to come back home just brings every thought and feeling and memory back, and I don't think I can handle it.  I can't wait to leave again.  You've destroyed the place that used to be my only comfort.  It no longer belongs to me, but to you and all of our memories.  It belongs to the person that I thought you were, the person that you deceived me to believe was you.  The longer I go without you, the more I realize who it is that you really are.  I don't like that person, and I can't believe that anyone could do the things that you do, and enjoy it all the while.  I left your ring on for the longest time, because I tried my hardest to believe that you never meant to break any of your promises to me.  That you actually did love me as much as you say you did.  That I wasn't just another challenge.  But I couldn't keep lying to myself.  I took it off Saturday, and it will stay off.  You are not the person I thought you were, the person that I fell in love with.  He doesn't exist, because he was just some alter ego that you created for yourself.  I still miss you everyday, and I still haven't figured out what to do without you by my side.  You were the push that I needed to be who I was meant to be, I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much.  I appreciate everything you did to help me along my way in becoming who I am meant to be.  I wish all the best for you in everything that you do.  I still love you, baby. I always will.