Itās this kind of night again.
..when I just feel that Iāve done the biggest mistake in my life.
For the past few years, I was so good..so sooooo good at not regretting things. I always tell myself,Ā āThings have passed. You make mistakes. You learn from it. You let it go.ā But why have I been feeling that I'm supposed toĀ regret this? Regret whatās already happened a long time ago?
Things do happen for a reason, but is this really what should happen?
Sometimes, I really want to go back to December. That time when things were still good...when things were so much better than now...when there wasĀ us.
I regret it.. I regret not responding to your question. I regret being stubborn and preventing myself from telling you what exactly I was feeling. I regret letting go.
We were both hurt by what weāve done to each other, so maybe this is good for us. But itās not that easy to forget your first love.
āIād go back in time to change it, but I canāt So if the chain is on your door, I understandā
I know this feeling is just temporary. Iām only feeling this because itās 2am and I tend to feel very lonely and emotional this time around. But I felt the need to express myself.
Plus, with the things thatās been happening lately, I canāt help but want to go back to when things were good.
āWishing Iād realize what I had when you were mineā
All those wishful thinking.. All those moments of breaking down in the shower.. I know I gotta stop. I know how to stop. But right now, Iām letting myself do what it wants to do so I donāt explode.Ā
āIām sorry for that nightā
A part of me will remain wanting you. Itās so hard to let go of someone who gave you so much to remember..who changed you..who made you feel more special than anyone could do. No one has yet to make my heart beat insanely like you did. No one has yet to give me butterflies in my stomach like you did. No one has yet to make me feel like how you made me feel back then..and right now.
But I canāt go back now.
