#youbringtrouble

for @strebcr and @youbringtrouble lmao

It was the dead of night. Little to no places were open to satisfy his rare craving for food. But alas, there was a light in the darkness-- a 24 hour gas station; complete with a convenience store!! Johnny turned into the lot and parked his car. He wasn't familiar with this area, so finding this was a stroke of pure luck.

As he exited his car, he also pulled out a backpack and slid it on his shoulders. After living a while in his car, he found that a backpack was easier to carry around the essentials. At least it was better than relying on pockets alone.

A small smiled dawned on his face as he approached the store. Johnny wondered what should he get. It had to be something light to quell his stomach. Jalapeño chips? Soda? Maybe a can of spaghetti-o's? Or one of those small fried wraps filled with mystery meat?

His eyes widened as he entered the store. There was no way in hell he was this lucky, but lo and behold-- there was a slushy machine. Granted it wasn't his beloved brand 'Brainfreezy', but he would take what he could get. Besides, a slushy was the perfect snack. It was mostly water with flavor and food coloring! It barely counted as food.

He scampered with glee over to the machine and grabbed the biggest styrofoam cup they had. The red cherry-flavored ice was his target. He pulled the handle and... nothing came out the nozzle. Johnny's heart leapt up to his throat. This had to be a fluke; an odd coincidence. Perhaps the machine was broken or merely turned off. This scene was all too familiar. Still, there was a glimmer of hope.

"Excuse me. Can you turn on your slushy machine? I would like a slushy." Johnny called over from across the small store. He was the only customer there, so it wasn't difficult to communicate with the clerk.

An annoyed grunt came from the cashier. He had been watching Johnny with tired discontent. Clearly he didn't want to do his job at two in the morning. "I ain't turnin' on that machine fer one customer. Would be a waste o' electricity." He said simply.

Johnny's mood dipped at the response. "Oh..." He slowly put the cup away. All his previous joy had vanished and was replaced with a deep sadness. He really had his heart set on that slushy. Life had been hard on him ever since he left his old house and there was very few things that brought him happiness. However, he didn't have to leave with nothing and depression.

His sorrow quickly morphed into anger. He unzipped his backpack and grabbed a handle inside of it. A comically large knife was then pulled out and Johnny was in the cashier's face in an instant. "I'm so sick of the universe refusing to give me an ounce of happiness. That slushy was all I wanted tonight and yet you had to go and refuse to serve the only damn customer here! Hell, I coulda bought two or three. Who knows?! But if I can't have the one thing that will bring me joy tonight, then you aren't leaving here with your life!!" He shouted as he climbed onto the counter to get closer to the clerk.

However, this clerk was not about to be a victim to some crazed maniac. He pulled out a shot gun that was previously hidden from view and pointed it at his thin assailant. "How about ya calm down fer a sec? It's only a goddamn slushy."

Johnny froze at the sight of the gun. It was a weapon he loathed with every fiber of his being, and now that he had been killed with one it was something he feared. "Yeah, that's right. Git down from the counter." The clerk gestured with his gun. Johnny moved slowly; his body trembled like a leaf.

Alexandra is laying her legs across his stomach, texting her friends before looking over at him. "Do you wanna get married?" She asked, bluntly.

"They really aren't that tiny anymore those little guys are growing like weeds! I bet in a year El Pendejo will be a grandma. A little granny racoon with her little grandchildren!"

"How 'bout you back that sweet ass up, babe?" He made a 'come hither' motion with one hand, grinning like a fool. Awful pervert of a man.

"That was pretty corny hun and you know it! But lucky for you I was born on the cob you silly goose."